mittk Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Is there really such a thing as not wanting to get into a relationship for fear of getting hurt? This girl says she has been dumped many times before and hence does not want to enter a relationship. Is that entirely true? Or is it all a bit of an excuse? I feel that if you like someone, you will trust them enough... While I believe it is possible for someone to enter self-defense mode due to previous disappointments, I don't truly buy the argument that one would not enter a relationship with someone they really like because of having been dumped many times before. Or am I wrong? It all sounds like a case of "I like you, but not enough..." to me.
vsmini Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 If they are staying out of a relationship with someone they honestly like for fear of being hurt in the future it means they are not over what happened to them in the past - it's possible they still aren't over the person who hurt them in the past. I think it's a very valid and real feeling and fear. But if someone is telling you they aren't ready for a relationship (for whatever reason) believe them and don't try to push them or convince them into a relationship.
alphamale Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Is there really such a thing as not wanting to get into a relationship for fear of getting hurt? are you joking? of course there is, especially more so as you get older
azsinglegal Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yes, it's very true. It's called "emotional baggage" and we all have some to a certain extent. I just realized how bad mine was a few weeks ago as I started to sabotage my current relationship. I was putting stuff in my head that wasn't there based on past hurt by other men. I just assumed he was going to do the same things as every other man in my life...but I was wrong. I need to take my current guy for exactly who he is and not try and project past emotional hurt onto him. I've only said I was "scared of getting hurt" to the man when I wasn't sure if I really wanted him. It was my way of keeping him at a distance while still on the hook.
carhill Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Is there really such a thing as not wanting to get into a relationship for fear of getting hurt? Apparently there is, though it's never been a feature of my psychology to date. That part (getting hurt) has been pretty normal. It's the bankruptcy part that has me mildly afraid as I approach retirement age. The heart and soul can always manufacture more love. A printing press, OTOH, is hard to come by
SpiralOut Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yes, it is real. Getting hurt in the past can make it difficult to trust someone again, even if you really want to.
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