chucksagent Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 ...."I just felt like it.".... i.e. When I first met my girlfriend and we were both single, she would ALWAYS straighten her hair and wear it down...it looks AMAZING that way (she is very beautiful). Then after about 9 months of dating, she started wearing it pulled back in a pony tail A TON. Even for things like date night. I eventually mentioned it to her that I REALLY like it down and straight so (at my request) started doing it straight and down for date night only. She started a new job shortly after the request for wearing her hair straight on date night. The job is in customer service and require business/casual dress but she is free to wear her hair any way she wants. For the first week, she wore her hair straightened and down EVERY Day. From the first day of week two, EVERY DAY until present day (3 months) she wore it pulled back in a pony tail when she realized that was ok. Now, she all of a sudden wants to wear it down and straight ALL THE TIME. She claims it's because I took her out and bought her nice new outfits for work - now she just feels like doing it. Do you guys think there is more to this? Like maybe a guy at work she wants to look good for? OR...do women sometimes HONESTLY just "feel" like spending extra time on their hair all of a sudden?
WhiteChocolate Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yes, there are times that I just "feel" like doing something. There can be many subconscious motives. If you think that there might be a guy at work in the picture however, what does that say about your relationship? If you are afraid of her cheating, how is knowing that she wants to look good going to help your relationship? It is just going to make you suspicious, and undermine your trust. If you are thinking that there is another guy, maybe it's because there are ltitle things that have crept up on you two.
Author chucksagent Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 I have 3 family members that work at this place and MANY friends, so I HIGHLY doubt anything would or could happen (my one family member is VP of the company). Now granted, I understand people DO NOT CARE, and would do it anyway, but it would be a BOLD move. And no, it's none of the family members because two of them are WAY too young and the VP is much older and happily married (and his son works there). As someone who thinks logically, I don't understand why when single, does hair, when going out with me on dates, doesn't unless I ask, and then at work, wants to do it all of a sudden. See, I don't believe things happen for no reason - but she claims sometimes she just feels like doing it. Who EVER feels like waking up earlier to put more effort into their hair for NO REASON. PS: What kind of subconscious motive and what do you mean stuff crept up on us? Thanks in advance for the help.
Star Gazer Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Obviously she's trying to impress someone...and by the looks of it, that someone isn't you. While there are many times I felt like/didn't feel like putting more effort into my hair, I totally agree with the above. That "someone" though could easily be her boss, or coworkers, for whom she might want to look polished in front of, and not for romantic or flirty reasons.
Cypress25 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Perhaps she went through a phase where she got lazy about her hair, and now she's back to normal. I'm a bit confused though, as most guys barely notice such things. Does it really make that much of a difference in her appearance? It's possible that she thinks her hair looks good both ways, and she styles it depending on her mood. Is her hair naturally curly? If so, you should probably learn to appreciate it that way too, since she seems to like it. Speaking as a woman, yes, sometimes I just feel like styling my hair a certain way. Sometimes it depends on what time I get up in the morning. If I oversleep and I'm running late for work, obviously I don't bother straightening my hair. Sometimes it depends on the weather. Being a guy, you probably never considered this, but humid weather can make it difficult to achieve certain hairstyles. And a lot of women wear their hair in a ponytail during the summer because it's hot. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
carhill Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Some background In this instance, I'd opine that there is no hidden message, so don't look for one. The main downside risk I see here is, with your GF's personality, if you drive her away, she'll have a hard time directly breaking up with you; it will likely be an incremental process. That said, IMO, nothing wrong with being interested with work. As open as she is, I'm sure some relevant information will come to light. FWIW, my exW changed her hair like I changed underwear. That was part of the 'customer service' of being a colorist. I never gave it a second thought. If she wore a pony tail to work I never thought about that either. It's impossible to control other people in an intimate relationship in any substantive way. Give it up. Enjoy what you have. It could be gone tomorrow.
Carlos S Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 The way I see it, she felt like wearing it differently. It's her hair and she can do what she likes with it. I'd be fairly reluctant to let a girl dictate how I should look
mesmerized Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 hmmm, honestly, she doesn't sound like a person to me who wants to put the extra effort just because she "feels like it" as it seems like she wasn't really keen on doing it in the past. It might have another reason that she doesn't want to admit to you. That doesn't mean that you should worry about her cheating on you or anything though.
WhiteChocolate Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 PS: What kind of subconscious motive and what do you mean stuff crept up on us? Thanks in advance for the help. Subconscious motive: It is hot or humid outside, there really is a cute guy at work, she has noticed split ends recently and decided to give her hair a break (straightening hair is REALLY BAD for it, it's basically cooking your hair for a few minutes every day,) doing hair up is more fashionable with the season...i don't know. Stuff creeping up on you: Why would you even want to find an explanation for the fact that she does her hair differently and conclude that she is interested in another guy? If she IS interested, then it would be far more productive to wonder what would be rocky within your relationship than wondering about her hair.
Author chucksagent Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 She claims she wore it pulled back in the summer because of the humidity. And now that it's getting colder again she wants to wear it down. I don't belive this though. Because we met last summer and when we were both single she ALWAYS wore it down. I think its PROBABLY as simple as she got comfortable and now at work she just wants to look as good or better than the other women in the office. Don't they say women dress for eachother - not men? Who knows. I actually had a good talk with somone close with me tonight and they told me I will drive myself crazy trying to figure out why people do what they do. He said if she is going to do something wrong, there is nothing I can do to stop it so you just have to live and trust and hope for the best. PS: She looks great with her hair EITHER way, but when its down and straightened she BY FAR looks best. Everyone agrees too - I've actually heard her family, her friends, and my family all comment.
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