StellaA Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I got a message asking if we could talk....he said he missed me, I think he wants us to get back together..not sure what to say
immitable Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Don't jump the gun immediately. Let some time pass before you answer, follow your own instinct. When you two sit down and talk be a good listener, don't get emotional, avoid freind zone. Try not to keep the conversation too long. Let all sink in, before you meet again. Be confident Best of luck
TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Wow that's HUGE!!! Do you want him back? If is there anything he'd need to change for it to work?
crackster Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 How long you been broke up and has there been any NC?
Author StellaA Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 We have been NC for about 4/5 weeks apart from one text when he knew my brother had not been well and text me. I have seen him a couple of times to drive past and wave but not to talk to. I am not rushing into anything, I am going away for a few weeks so I will have time to think. There are a lot of things which would have to change before we could get back together. I do love him more than anything and miss him so much just scared of going through all this again but are there any garuntee's in life/relationships?
Buttercup84 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 We have been NC for about 4/5 weeks apart from one text when he knew my brother had not been well and text me. I have seen him a couple of times to drive past and wave but not to talk to. I am not rushing into anything, I am going away for a few weeks so I will have time to think. There are a lot of things which would have to change before we could get back together. I do love him more than anything and miss him so much just scared of going through all this again but are there any garuntee's in life/relationships? Wait until you come back and see how you feel.If he really wants you back , he will still be there.But do not take him back lightly , you both need to work out what went wrong and talk about it. He needs to see his mistakes too.He should not want you just because he is lonley and being single isn't as fun as it looked like on the other side.Be very careful.And also be honest to yourself if you really want him back.xx
wilsonx Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I got a message asking if we could talk....he said he missed me, I think he wants us to get back together..not sure what to say Hate to burst your bubble but this is friendzone right here. All he said is he misses you, thats it. If your ex wants to get back together with you he would say a lot more then I miss you we should talk. But go ahead meet him, break NC and find out for yourself. I personally wouldnt, make him move mountains, make him do work to even consider a meeting. You newbies that have been here since August and later have no concept of this. This is not a reconciliation by any means. He just misses her as a friend. Its going to be a FWB if anything. Hes trying to relieve guilt
lonelynyc Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Someone saying they miss you means nothing. If and when you meet, he'll tell you that he's lonely or that he misses some parts of you, but not others. It's a completely non-commital, selfish statement. If he's so lonely he should get a dog. Wilson is right here, arranging a meet-up from this is not a great idea, and it won't have the desired outcome on your end. If you want a true reconciliation you'll have to show him you know your worth which means not chomping at the bit for whatever breadcrumbs he throws you.
Author StellaA Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Thanks guys. He has asked us to meet up to talk, it's a long story but the text does suggest he wants us to try again. I have text him today asking exactly why he wants to meet as I do not want to put myself through seeing him just to have a catch up
TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Thanks guys. He has asked us to meet up to talk, it's a long story but the text does suggest he wants us to try again. I have text him today asking exactly why he wants to meet as I do not want to put myself through seeing him just to have a catch up Let us know how it goes Stella
immitable Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Thanks guys. He has asked us to meet up to talk, it's a long story but the text does suggest he wants us to try again. I have text him today asking exactly why he wants to meet as I do not want to put myself through seeing him just to have a catch up Yep, it seems like you know exactly what to do:) Best of luck
Zabs Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Stella! Remember what I said in the other thread...it is STILL about him...take a pause, don't rush in and make yourself as if you have been gagging for this all along....WAIT and see what he has to say however, whenever you guys communicate....these are all murky waters and it is all too easy to rush in and say "That's it! He wants to have a healthy, mature and committed relationship! WOohar!" remember a little protection now could save potential pain in the future...and remember...No sookiness!
Author StellaA Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Hi guys....well we have decided to give it another go BUT I have told him I need to concentrate on my trip first. I have not slept and feel really sick. Love him but have I made the right decision
jackjoynr Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Hi guys....well we have decided to give it another go BUT I have told him I need to concentrate on my trip first. I have not slept and feel really sick. Love him but have I made the right decision You may have jumped the gun too soon here my dear! Your situation sounds EXACTLY like mine... Boyfriend broke up with me end of August One week later he calls me says he misses me In between then he skypes and texts me to "check up on" (guilty conscious?) Week after that, he asks if we can meet up to get something to eat and "talk" First I agreed to but then I thought long and hard about it and declined to meet up - (didn't want to fall into let's be "friends" trap)! A few weeks after he sends texts asking if we could talk. Finally talk and all he says is he's sorry - and explains the REAL reason why he decided to break up with me (long story but not worth me accepting him back quite yet) Mind you we broke up before (mutually), spent 6months trying to work on getting back together (spent time in the FWB zone). We finally get back together then BOOM!! 2months later he breaks up with me. Now he wants me back, says he still thinks about marrying me, etc.. IT'S A VISCOUS CYCLE!! RUN! If he truly wants to be with you, YOU WILL see a major change in him. Don't settle for "I'm sorry's" ... "I miss you's" and blah blah blah. WORDS MEAN NOTHING. Watch his actions! and don't give him the satisfaction of accepting him back just because you two are lonely & "miss" each other. No change ..no chance!
Author StellaA Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 How do you know if they have changed?
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