Nelson123 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Hey guys!! I'm new to this forum i've seen a lot of threads and its helping me a lot. Just wanna a vent here i need get some opinion as in what went wrong and was i the good/bad person. I'll make my story short August 2010 I met her through our common friend, i had ended my relationship with my ex 3 months as she had left the counrty it was mutual so i was pretty much healed. During august i met this new girl we just exchanged number and just casual texting not very regular. Sep 2010 She was got a new job and was planning to shift to a new locality, i helped her a lot as she was new this place didnt have friends, we became close after that and calls and texts between us were regular. after few days she found a new guy in her locality, she become close to him as well and started hanging out with a lot. I used to get jealous dont know why and thats when i realized i started developing some feelings for her. Oct - nov 2010 The other guy had a change in his shift so they couldnt hang out ( but used hang out the weekends sometimes), and tat time she used to call me and as i was staying very far from my place couldnt make it sometimes but i some how made time and used to meet her. She knew i had something for her, i used to take care of her when she was ill, she used to tell me all her personal problems regarding there parents ( her dad and brother used to hit her when she young and her parents used to like her brother more all that) she used to call me when she was depressed or lost ( may be she didnt get over her ex) . One day when she was totally depressed called me and asked if i could meet her, i couldnt as i had some other work and over the phone she asked me if i had anything for her i told i'm confused and asked her if she has and she told me even she is confused. Dec 2010 Once she calls me up in the middle of the night and ask me the same question and this time i told "maybe i think i have".. she told she is still "confused" she told me date another girl so that she can know wat she has for me. she wants to know if she will get jealous Weeks later she when i was at her place she told me that she had met a guy 3 days back , they were hanging out for 3 days and then ended up making out ( just kiss) and next morning he had dumped her. she didnt tell me about this guy to me before as she thought i would get jealous. and itseems she was still in confused mode. i got hyper had a fight, thought we'll cut our friendship and i was the person took the initiative to patch up as i was missing her. Jan 2011 Met her first time after the fight. I told her about my best friend who came down to meet she told me she was getting jealous( god knows) hearing about my best friend( female friend) We ended up making out that day ( we were drunk not very high just beer buzz) There was no contact for 1 week and i called her, she said was busy with work and doesn't wanna talk me. she was bit cranky and all of sudden she told me that " wat ever happened tat day will never happen again. i dont make out with a random person" I tried to explain her she didnt listen, she never returned my calls . i got hyper and i send her a msg which was way beyond my line i called a the bad words possible( i was immature) ended, deleted her from facebook and NC after that. Aug 2011 I couldnt move on, thought i'll break NC called her ( she had my number didnt delete it) and apologized, she told she wouldnt forgive me for that msg and didnt expect it from me. she took about 2 months to move on . asked me to move on and not to call again. Though i'm getting better i still havnt moved on ,i still think of her so friends tell me who is the bad person here. just wanna know ur opinion. i feel guilty for that message sometime..
Zabs Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Not be be harsh, but it sounds like a car crash from beginning to end. The only think I can say to you is that a realtionship has to be two ways. Give and take on both sides..equal. Yours definitely wasn't! And as for the most important part about relationships enriching our lives...did you feel enriched..or were you just plain lonely and glad of the company even if it was from a sponging germ? JMO:sick: Zabs xx
redblack66 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 This is not a healthy connection. Move on as much as you can without her. Otherwise, you will be on this forum for a while.
Author Nelson123 Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) I knew it wasn't a healthy relationship. I just wanna know whether she was fake? did she take me for granted? was she playing.? I wasn't happy with the relationship as i didnt know whether she had feelings for me. She used to give me hope always . Edited October 10, 2011 by Nelson123
wilsonx Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I knew it wasn't a healthy relationship. I just wanna know whether she was fake? did she take me for granted? was she playing.? I wasn't happy with the relationship as i didnt know whether she had feelings for me. She used to give me hope always . See what I bolded, this is all that matters, nothing else matters. If you know something isnt a healthy relationship and you arent happy, it does not matter what she thinks. Walk away
TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Dude you are so far in the friend zone it's frightening!!! What is the difference between what you do and what one of her female friends do (well apart from the odd kiss)? Seriously, think about this: You listen to her problems, do things for her, look after her when she is sick and are there for her when her other men aren't interested! STOP STOP STOP: She is NOT attracted to this in any way shape or form. If she was she wouldn't be telling you to date other women and she wouldn't be hanging around other men. She wants a challenge, someone who is fun and who gets her emotions going. How many romantic comedies (movies for the ladies) do you see the main character ending up with someone who does everything for them? NONE!!! It's always James Bond or John Wayne type characters who are their own man, aren't always available, aren't afraid to say no or who aren't afraid to tease them. They also rarely get emotional, they know what they want and they don't follow her or anyone else! So your first priority is to man up and stop acting like a chick or a friend! As I tell all guys who don't get it, read David DeAngelo's "Attraction isn't a choice." If you don't have a Kindle you can download the free app for your phone or pc as this is an ebook on Amazon. Alternatively, keep doing what you're doing and look forward to a future of dating girls who lose interest quickly. Trust me dude!!!
wilsonx Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 You have got to stop posting david deangelo crap. Theres a reason he's still single. He has no relationship experience. He's a pick up artist and thats all he cares about. What you failed to see on this post is what she thinks doesnt matter. If you are in a long term relationship, you cant say NO to what your partner wants. You have to be available to them and they need to be available to you. I can tell you from a pua stand point that it FAILS in relationships. You have to be yourself but at the same time you have to stand up for yourself. Dont pretend to be James Bond or John Wayne, this is lying to yourself, Just be your best self possible and if someone does not like who you are then move on and find someone that does
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