californiasurf Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 My bf broke up with me a little more than a month ago and about 8 days ago he got a new girlfriend. This guy told me the sweetest things and we were even talking about marriage and I was certain that this was really gonna last but then he broke up with me because he said "He didn't feel the same" and because "I was always upset" (which i was because i had an eating disorder so i dont blame him for saying that) and that "we fought too much" but we honestly didnt fight THAT much and every good relationship has fights anyway. so now we haven't spoken since the breakup but i was just wondering...do you think it's possible that we'll ever get back together? what we had was special... what i felt with him i never felt with anyone else. but now he's replaced me...but do you think there's still hope in the future?
Marianis Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 i guess I’m not the best person to answer this.. but .. for what I’ve been learning here is that you shouldn’t be waiting for him to come back and just focus on yourself… I just realize that’s better than waiting… its hard and I know what you are feeling but just try to let him go … everyday is harder but someday it won´t be anymore. dont worry.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 My ex did the same thing, started dating other girls. None of them have been anything serious since he has broke up with me. It may most likely be a rebound, but regardless, try not to worry too much about it. I know it is hard, but it is the best thing you can do. Don't give him so much power over you. I would advise going into No Contact with him for awhile and just letting this thing with the new girl run its course. That is pretty much all you can do right now. In the meantime, go out there and do other things, that way he doesn't see you are hurting you know? It is okay to feel sad, just not in front of him. It will get easier day by day, but only time will tell if you guys get back together.
Author californiasurf Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 i guess I’m not the best person to answer this.. but .. for what I’ve been learning here is that you shouldn’t be waiting for him to come back and just focus on yourself… I just realize that’s better than waiting… its hard and I know what you are feeling but just try to let him go … everyday is harder but someday it won´t be anymore. dont worry. thanks..it's just really hard to let him go when im so attached to him, ya know?
Author californiasurf Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 My ex did the same thing, started dating other girls. None of them have been anything serious since he has broke up with me. It may most likely be a rebound, but regardless, try not to worry too much about it. I know it is hard, but it is the best thing you can do. Don't give him so much power over you. I would advise going into No Contact with him for awhile and just letting this thing with the new girl run its course. That is pretty much all you can do right now. In the meantime, go out there and do other things, that way he doesn't see you are hurting you know? It is okay to feel sad, just not in front of him. It will get easier day by day, but only time will tell if you guys get back together. i hope it's just a rebound but they seem so perfect together :/ i guess i'll just have to wait it out but thanks for your advice
TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 REBOUND!!!!!!! This relationship will probably become very serious very quickly, you'll freak out because they'll be super loved up... BUT relationships need a solid foundation and rebounds don't have this, that's why they almost always come crashing down!!! Don't panic just yet!
Mack05 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) My bf broke up with me a little more than a month ago and about 8 days ago he got a new girlfriend. Why would you want to get back together with a guy who left and you and then had a girlfriend 8 days later. Are you sure he wasn't cheating on you? Looks like he probably was. I would say this to you. There is no point in being in a relationship unless you are not happy within yourself. When you are not content within yourself, you cannot be happy within a relationship and it is doomed to failure. I would seriously forget about this guy and focus on getting your health back. Beating your disorder is far more important then worrying about a guy that can move on so fast. You will never be happy with a guy like this. He quit on you so easily and then found someone else so fast. MAJOR RED FLAG ALERT!!. That fact you have this eating disorder and want a guy like this back, is a classic sign of low self esteem.. Beat your problems, start loving yourself again. By doing this you will pick smarter in the future and you will find genuine happiness and a man you can rely on.. Edited October 10, 2011 by Mack05
KathyM Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 My bf broke up with me a little more than a month ago and about 8 days ago he got a new girlfriend. This guy told me the sweetest things and we were even talking about marriage and I was certain that this was really gonna last but then he broke up with me because he said "He didn't feel the same" and because "I was always upset" (which i was because i had an eating disorder so i dont blame him for saying that) and that "we fought too much" but we honestly didnt fight THAT much and every good relationship has fights anyway. so now we haven't spoken since the breakup but i was just wondering...do you think it's possible that we'll ever get back together? what we had was special... what i felt with him i never felt with anyone else. but now he's replaced me...but do you think there's still hope in the future? Probably not a lot of hope for reconciliation if you are no longer talking with each other. I think what a lot of people fail to realize is that dating is a trial period to see if two people are compatible and if there is potential for a LTR. If there is conflict in a dating relationship, most people would really rather throw in the towel before investing a lot of time in a relationship where there is conflict. I imagine if the guy saw that it was difficult to get along with you while dating, it would be even moreso when married. The dating period is supposedly a time when people are on their best behavior and there are not a lot of stressful things (like kids, in-laws, etc.) happening to disrupt it. If people can't even get along during the dating period, most people will cut their losses and move on to someone who they can get along with. Case in point, my sister just dumped a guy that she had been dating for 3 months when it became obvious that he had issues of wanting to control her and had anger management issues. He couldn't understand why she didn't want to work through that and give him another chance. Most people bail when a red flag shows up during the dating period, and arguments and conflict with each other is usually a red flag for people during the dating process.
vsmini Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 My bf broke up with me a little more than a month ago and about 8 days ago he got a new girlfriend. This guy told me the sweetest things and we were even talking about marriage and I was certain that this was really gonna last but then he broke up with me because he said "He didn't feel the same" and because "I was always upset" (which i was because i had an eating disorder so i dont blame him for saying that) and that "we fought too much" but we honestly didnt fight THAT much and every good relationship has fights anyway. so now we haven't spoken since the breakup but i was just wondering...do you think it's possible that we'll ever get back together? what we had was special... what i felt with him i never felt with anyone else. but now he's replaced me...but do you think there's still hope in the future? You said what you had was special - what exactly? He didn't think so...he didn't feel the same and broke up with you. Time to get real and move on. He found someone else and it sucks and it's horrible but don't short yourself by talking about how special he was...he's not. If you have an eating disorder then you need to work on your own self-esteem and issues before getting in a real relationship anyway. When someone wants to walk out of your life. Let them go.
Author californiasurf Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 He knew I had an eating disorder since the beginning of the relationship and he said that he would to whatever it took to help me. I'm completely over my eating disorder now becuase I've been getting treatment for quite some time now, and I'm actually happy most of the time...it's just when i think about him that i become sad. i want to show him that i've completely changed but i'm not sure how i would go about doing this...
KathyM Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 He knew I had an eating disorder since the beginning of the relationship and he said that he would to whatever it took to help me. I'm completely over my eating disorder now becuase I've been getting treatment for quite some time now, and I'm actually happy most of the time...it's just when i think about him that i become sad. i want to show him that i've completely changed but i'm not sure how i would go about doing this... You said in your OP that he claimed you were fighting too much and upset too much of the time. That is why he left--not because of the eating disorder. He left you only a month ago. I doubt he'd think much has changed with you as far as your tendency to get into arguments with him at this point. It's good that you have kicked your eating disorder, and your mood is improving. Consider this past relationship a learning experience--have to be careful how you treat a guy if you want him to stick around. They don't like conflict or drama or neediness. They appreciate someone who makes them feel good and not bad. Men are pretty simple creatures, actually. You treat them well, and they'll stick around. You create too much tension, drama and difficulties, they'll often bail.
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