Grinder88 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Just sitting here tonight listening to some old school rap thinking about the past. Not really sad, mostly excited about the future and happy with the past i've had living life with no regrets. Been focusing on myself a lot lately got back into body building and have gained 5 pounds(muscle) since my breakup started really taking care of myself. I think the fact that someday ill run into my ex and i want to be better than I have ever been has really pushed me to better myself. Plus the new attention I've been getting from the opposite sex is a real motivator. So what keeps you guys/gals going? Is it the thought of being the best thing they never had?
M2155 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Thumbs to old school rap Not really any other choice but to keep goingI actually want a happy, healthy relationship one day (looking back I realize it could/should have been better.He has a girlfriend, when she is boring and scrubby looking and he runs into me, yep, I'll seem better than everThe little part of me that hopes his relationship doesn't work out and he looks me up one day only to wonder if he didn't try hard enoughMostly #1 and 2 though
Marianis Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 i think what keeps me going is my family... i do want to make my dad and mom proud of me.. they have been looking at me depressed lately and I know they don’t like that. Im also going to the gym! .. I lost like 3 kilos and I wanna look good in my graduation party from university! And yes I have to look good to find someone someday.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Pretty much what you stated. I have really been focusing on myself lately, now I am going to take vocal lessons and work on my insecurities. That way, when the day comes that my ex and I cross paths, I will be a better person and such. Who knows when that day will be, but it does help keep me motivated and helps me let go of the past. If anything, I want something better with him so it needs time to let go of all the bad we have gone through together.
wilsonx Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 One of the things I would like to coach you guys/gals on is that you need to start doing things for yourselves. Not others, like your parents or your exs. How are you ever going to be happy if you are working to make others happy. It doesnt work like that. One of the keys to a successful relationship is the ability to love yourself. If you do not, there is no possible way you can be in a healthy relationship. A good example of this in real life is if you have ever flown on a plane, what do they tell you when the flight attendants give you their spiel? They say always put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others. Say you put the guys on next to you first but you run out of oxygen, do you honestly trust him to put yours on you? I wouldnt
antz2411 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 life, enjoying life, making myself a better person than i was the day before.
ken_25 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I've been filled with the desire again to finally experience the things i've been wanting to do but have put off for so long. To finally take more action in my life, and define myself. Also knowing that I will definitely find someone else to share my life with again. Even though I've told myself no dating or girlfriends for at least 6 months out of the break up, (currently 12 weeks out) i'm anxious to find someone to fill that void, but I understand 100% that I'll find her in time, and I need to use my time now to grow and build a better me. So I feel good about my future... thinking about these things and starting to do these things has been getting me through. You have a choice in how you handle this, it's all up to you.
HappyFlower Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I've taken up a few new things that I've been wanting to do but couldn't because I spent all my free time with him: tai-chi, driving lessons, got a new tattoo, got some pet ducks! Spent more time with friends & family I saw less of for the same above reason. Importantly for me I think, is I've gone through the relationship, both the good and the bad points. I've come to realise that I learned so much from it - that I loved someone so much that when they changed into someone else, I projected the person they used to be onto who they became. I've learned that I don't regret the relationship at all, and I'm glad I was the one that stuck it out and fought for us in the face of everything, whereas he was the one that gave up when things got a bit rough because of something he did. I never thought I'd be strong enough to be that person, and I did it and I've survived the split. I'm proud of myself and what I gave, while he is arrogant and self-centered and believes that what he did wrong was all in my head. I understood him better than anyone, I know he'll never get that again. He might find someone better for him externally - better looking, same kind of job, same know-it-all attitude. But he'll never find the emotional connection he had with me. And I have no interest in giving it back to him. Recognising those things keep me going
solobeary Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I'm hoping things will get easier once I finish uni for the semester, because it has been SO hard concentrating on study every night when I'm so used to having him around for a break and a hug. I've become vegetarian, it's something I've always thought about doing and it's good having a little bit of a satisfying challenge to work towards. I've started cycling to work and uni pretty much every day. I've lost some weight, and hoping to lose more and get fit. I'm doing an internship in a different city in January, which I'm looking forward to (although slightly nervous about too). And I've bought and borrowed some books that relate to my profession to read in the holidays, I never would have had the time for that in the relationship. And I've got a few projects I've been planning for the holiday, I haven't done any drawings in about 3 years and I want to start doing that again.
solobeary Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 And, yeah, a lot of thinking about life and love and how to improve myself I'm not sure I personally count that as "what keeps me going" though because often it makes me sad. But it's important and will be worth it in the long run.
Rimer Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 One of the things I would like to coach you guys/gals on is that you need to start doing things for yourselves. Not others, like your parents or your exs. How are you ever going to be happy if you are working to make others happy. It doesnt work like that. One of the keys to a successful relationship is the ability to love yourself. If you do not, there is no possible way you can be in a healthy relationship. A good example of this in real life is if you have ever flown on a plane, what do they tell you when the flight attendants give you their spiel? They say always put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others. Say you put the guys on next to you first but you run out of oxygen, do you honestly trust him to put yours on you? I wouldnt Thanks m8. very good advice
Author Grinder88 Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 One of the things I would like to coach you guys/gals on is that you need to start doing things for yourselves. Not others, like your parents or your exs. How are you ever going to be happy if you are working to make others happy. It doesnt work like that. One of the keys to a successful relationship is the ability to love yourself. If you do not, there is no possible way you can be in a healthy relationship. A good example of this in real life is if you have ever flown on a plane, what do they tell you when the flight attendants give you their spiel? They say always put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others. Say you put the guys on next to you first but you run out of oxygen, do you honestly trust him to put yours on you? I wouldnt So true....I used to think maybe if I was different/ changed myself I could be happy again. I looked at the guy my ex is with now and wondered how i could be more like him......I did end up changing myself but it was to become someone I wanted to be, I had slacked in the gym during the relationship and now that im back into it I feel AMAZING..My confidence is over the top and I don't feel like anything can bring me down. I also have taken time to do more studying which also helps my self esteem when i get that A. Best word of advice i have is"Just do you" be yourself in other words Metal..... YES! I went through a metal "phase" listened to a lot of classics Pantera, FFDP...some good old rage releasing music.. Never Enough FFDP White Knuckles FFDP http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZw77MuR5B0&feature=related Walk Pantera I could go on and on.....
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