HappyFlower Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 5 weeks after the breakup, the ex and I have been texting casually, he wanted to remain friends (I know, bad move!). We began to text about us, and as we were going to stay friends I apologised for the mistakes I made along the way, and didn't blame him for the split. He ignored it, for days. But there were chatty texts in those days. I asked today if he was upset with me for saying it. He said he hadn't ignored it, but what did I want him to say? He said 'you made mistakes, same as me. I am happy you realised them now and apologised. Thanks'. I find that really rude, considering it was a pretty mutual split. Actually I find it really up-yourself. I said that since he wanted to stay friends, that I would have maybe liked an apology for the mistakes he says he made too, there is no point basing a future friendship on negativity. His reply? 'I said I was sorry for my mistakes, and sorry if it wasn't clear at any point. I have always said I wanted to be friends, yes?' He's never admitted, after the breakup, to being wrong about any part of it, let alone apologise for anything. Essentially I have had to ask for an apology (for his lies), and he still expects me to stay friends after that. It actually makes things easier I think. - I no longer hold out hope of getting back together, so I'm not wasting my time waiting around for him. - its made me realise, he's totally changed. I'd never of though of him as saying anything like that to me. I love and stay in contact with the person he used to be, before the lies and deception. I don't want to be friends with the person he is now. End rant!
M2155 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I'm not "friends" with mine even though of course we said that...but we could never be friend because like you, I want him to apologize for how he ended things. Will it change anything? Probably not but I don't think I could ever be friends otherwise. But your post struck me because my ex told me he couldn't tell what I wanted blah blah blah, but never admitted that he was just as much at fault when he was the one that started seeing someone else while we were together. His loss:cool:
Author HappyFlower Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 I'm not "friends" with mine even though of course we said that...but we could never be friend because like you, I want him to apologize for how he ended things. Will it change anything? Probably not but I don't think I could ever be friends otherwise. But your post struck me because my ex told me he couldn't tell what I wanted blah blah blah, but never admitted that he was just as much at fault when he was the one that started seeing someone else while we were together. His loss:cool: You're right, his apology wouldn't have changed anything, whats done is done. But I don't see why I should work at maintaining friends with him when he can't even aknowledge my apology. Something came back to me last night after he sent that last text. When we first started dating he talked a lot about how he stayed friends with all his exes - then he said 'I don't make a point of staying friends with them, its just happens'. I guess what he actually ment was the girls kept in contact with him. Ego boost much? Erugh, thats low of your ex, I'm sorry to hear he did that. And yes totally - their loss
Author HappyFlower Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 I had a horrible dream this morning that the ex came on here and wrote a bunch of horrible, spiteful, untrue posts about me! Woke up, and for a few seconds had this sick feeling that it had actually happened. Yuk. On the plus, his up-himself texts on Sunday night are making my new attempt at NC much easier. I'm cross at him, but I don't want to talk to him
M2155 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I know how you feel. Just feeling the hint of ego is annoying, I used to find it attractive but now I'm turned off. I'm so glad too because it's helping me get over it and there's better out there. I'm all for being friends with exes but afer time and definitely when we can be open and aknowledge that we have our faults which make us better off as friends (you can't pretend there was never history). Otherwise, it won't be a real friendship.
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