Am I the bad guy?

[MR.ASIAN]

Well, a little background before I get started is I am currently deployed 22 years old, married for 1.4 years been together for 6 years. We are the first for eachother. We have always been in a LDR, after high school I went north and she went south, eventually I dropped out because I wanted to save our relationship. Then eventually I enlisted and left her alone again. Also, we had just gone through an abortion 2 months before I left and we havent really discussed about it. When I left, I think I left all my problems for her to bear.

 

Well, a couple of days ago I found out that my wife has been talking to an OM. Its been going on for about 3-4 weeks now. I had talked to her and she says that I been pushing her to do this, and that I did not trust her to do anything. I will admit I was pretty strict during my deployment, I was asking her to make me false promises by asking her not to drink if she when clubbing but I did it because her doctor said she shouldnt drink so I may have approached it the wrong way. Afterwards, she says that she is done with the relationship and says that it is all her fault thats she always hurting me and for me to move on, But I think it is her way of showing me her love because she has too much stress and I am not always there. Every time I go away for a long period of time something similar to this happens. The 2 previous time she were talking to other guys but nothing really happened and something tells me its truth. She never lied to me, she has however hid things from because she says she cant talk to me about it because I am hard headed and get mad instead of understanding. Somehow I think that is true as well. Right now, she emails me to move on and that she really likes this guy yet she says that she still loves me and will always have a spot in her heart. So, pretty much she still have feelings for me. Right now, I dont know if I am in denial thinking that I might be the bad guy. But what she did isnt right either. I am coming back home late November and she says that she will come see me at the end of the pier, but I am not sure what to do when I see her.

 

I know I will take her back if she wants to get back but should I? She still emails me saying that she loves me but is lost and dont know what to do, so should would NC until i get back be a good idea at this moment? Her sisters tells me that she is meeting up with this guy every weekend.

 

I asked her if they were getting intimate she says no they are just talking for not and dont plan on dating him anytime soon. So, hes a rebound. I know I am in somewhat of a denial but at the same time being with this woman I know what she is capable of and I know she will not just let this guy hit it just like that.