jkl6158 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Has anyone ever found themselves involved with someone knowing full well they were just out of a relationship (it was a guy I've known for about 1.5 years through mutual friends and he was only out of a 2 year relationship about a month before we found ourselves hooking up and hanging out together), and had things end fairly quickly because they realized they weren't ready to jump into something new and needed time to just be on their own. But then down the road, once they've had their time to be free and independent, had them want to give things another try now that their mind is in a different place? Does the fact that they wanted to give things a shot with you in the first place mean that they did so because they saw potential in you? Or does it ruin any chances for anything working once they are ready for a relationship again?
thatone Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 it doesn't ruin the chances, in my opinion, but it depends on people being confident and honest about who the other person is and what they want. can you get over the fact that at one time he told you no? or will you be permanently insecure about it? can he get over the fact that he doesn't owe you anything, and he shouldn't be insecure about what happened between the two of you before? can you both accept a clean slate and starting over? can you have this type of conversation before even seeing each other again without scaring each other off?
january2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I believe that relationships require a perfect storm of right time and place as well as both people being ready to enter the relationship - whatever its status or longevity. Reconnecting again would require another perfect storm. There are no guarantees and people can easily change their minds once they are far enough away from the influence of the other person.
Author jkl6158 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 I do think we will both be able to start with a clean slate. We have some very close mutual friends, so even if we wanted to avoid each other it wouldn't happen. The one good thing about everything that happened though is before I would say we were acquaintances. But I think we know each other well enough now that we can call each other friends. We have some mutual hobbies which we plan on continuing to do together (at his suggestion), and he told me he absolutely loves talking to me, especially because there are few people he can discuss some of his interests with, but I am one of those few. I do believe none of this was because of me, but was simply a matter of he wasn't ready for anyone. So maybe the first time we see each other again will be slightly uncomfortable, but I think there's a possibility we'll end up closer than we were before. And of course he owes me nothing, but I'd like to think that while he doesn't want anything more than friends now, there's hope for trying again in the future. He kind of made it sound that way, but I don't want to get my hopes up if he only said those kinds of things to try and ease the blow.
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