Author daphne Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Have you tried the European ex-pat community? There must be a website, meetup group, business club that caters to this crowd. Failing that, move to Europe. We like Americans. I used to be pretty involved in the ex-pat community. But somewhere along the way, I developed a taste for American men. They may not be uber intellectual, but there's a certain naive charm about them. Interestingly, going with a gf to a French restaurant where a number of ex pats hang out this week. I used to date the owner in my 20's but he stopped calling because I wouldn't put out after the 3rd date. Now he's obese and married, so I get to meet his single friends.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 OMG Thatone!!! You'd be like the 'Dating' version of Oprah!!! How awesome would that be?!
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Have you tried the European ex-pat community? There must be a website, meetup group, business club that caters to this crowd. Failing that, move to Europe. We like Americans. Working on it... Moving to Europe that is. For the OP... Not sure what to tell you. Seems there are no guarantees of sincerity at any age... One of my best friends married a man 9 years younger. They have two children and are very happy. I recall it taking alot of convincing on his part that he was interested in more than just a fling with her. Edited October 10, 2011 by ThsAmericanLife
thatone Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 All I can do is bemoan the fact that I didn't know all of this when I was in my 20's. How did I not know? I didn't realize you have to meet a ton of people to get a good idea of what you need/want. It was the stupid romantic in me that had this perfect intellectual, European type charted out. I almost married that guy, but how many of those am I going to meet in the States? Lord. There should be a class in high school on the practicality of love and pairing off. I blame our culture in the US. There's no appreciation for the intellectual types. Those people have to settle for some sort of work that isn't rewarding to them, and as a result you'll never know where to find them. So, rambling aside. I need to expand my social circles beyond what I've been doing. And maybe loosen up and just get to know the guy. It's not like he's asking me for a fwb. He just wants to fix my appliances and play board games. Oh wait. Is that the way a guy asks for fwb??? The last young guy offered to wash and wax my car and run errands for me. I don't know the code. umm, yeah pretty much. not necessarily a FWB, but if he's offering to fix things around your house he's making it pretty obvious that he doesn't just want to be friendly. i've met women that wound up with a whole house remodel for free just by having a FWB with a contractor. bought an antique piano from one a couple years ago that had a poor guy and his whole crew working in her house for free. OMG Thatone!!! You'd be like the 'Dating' version of Oprah!!! How awesome would that be?! in that i would be letting the crazies (scientologists, closet gay models/actors, one goal, etc) pretend to be normal while i go home to a miserable relationship of appearances?! nevermind, that was a terrible idea .
Graviton Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Working on it... Moving to Europe that is. To which country do you want to move and why do you want to move there?
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 To which country do you want to move and why do you want to move there? I have many European countries that are high on my list. Interestingly enough... only the Northern European ones. Open up "The Economist" magazine sometime and take a peek on the financials on the back few pages. The Northern European countries are doing quite well, despite the shenanigans of their party-hardy southern European counterparts... and they continue to do well even though they are small (compared to the US, China, and India), have some of the best family-forward policies in the world, and generally have a standard of living that far surpasses the 'average' in the US. I could go on and on. I have PhD in engineering... not to mention skills developed as a leader in my community (public speaking, a bit of marketing, etc). In the US, that means that a technician in a labor union gets paid overtime and makes more than me... While I get to work 60-80 hour weeks working 'at will'. Meaning, I can be fired anytime for any reason... usually to hire someone from India or China making half as much. Alright. Those are the breaks. I get it. I'm adapting. I started my own company.... I'm all in favor of the free-market. I'm not in favor of no-holds-barred capitalism... In the US, that has meant supporting activities I don't support, like endless wars and refusal to recognize climate change (funded by our oil/gas companies, of course). Lets not forget that someone like GW Bush was elected twice here (f**g idiot)... and the influence of the religious right. Americans actually take PRIDE in being STUPID. This is why I gotta go... weather the storm of stupidity in a place where people 'get it'.... Well, better than here at least.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Oh, and Europeans don't tend to be as fat and intellectually lazy as Americans. I like smart, good looking men Who needs more reason than that??
Ruby Slippers Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yeah, the age difference is ridiculous. But he insists that age is just a number. And I'm beginning to believe him. Since we've been dating, I feel like I have grown younger. All of a sudden, I'm trying to learn new things and am revisiting my idealistic dreams. Younger men do have a way of keeping you on your toes. I'm 35, my lover is 26, and he totally lights my fire. I used to reject younger men completely. But now I am giving them a shot, and having a blast so far. We went to this really fun arts event this weekend, and found ourselves dancing and jumping around like silly teenagers to some loud, fun bands. I have fun regularly, but I haven't had such a carefree blast in ages. I also bumped into this older guy there who I went on a couple of dates with a while back, and he seemed jealous.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 there are plenty of smart, good looking guys in america and in most countries. the reason you are not attracting them is because you yourself must lack one or both of these qualities or are otherwise so easy to lay that they don't bother buying the cow. (and i'm sure cow is a good way to describe you) Yep, you are absolutely right.... that explains everything. Thanks!!
mesmerized Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 waiting for MR.right, lol. Seriously, you might not find this "right" guy in 10 years or more or never! I have a friend who has been waiting for this Mr. right since she was like 28 and now she is 35... Live your life and enjoy what you have instead of waiting for something that you have no idea when happens.
Confusedbroken Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 My bf is turning 42 in Dec, I just turned 23! I love him with all my heart and I truly want it to last and become more serious! The thing is he's in the "I dont know" stage, we've been dating for 2 1/2 years and I know!!! But he keeps telling me that he doesn't want me to be in my 60s married to a guy in his 80s and some how I'll b missing out on life. It really hurts and I've been going through alot with this, so my suggestion is if you are only going to make it a fling then DO NOT go through with it!! Spare the heartache!! I keep telling my bf why the hell did he let us being something if the age is such an issue with him, when clearly it is not an issue at all with me! I know what I got myself into and I was happy with my decision but I feel like he's making that decision for me! I hate it!
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Guys in their 30's want a serious relationship with a girl in her 20's. Guys in their 20's often (though not always) seek casual relationships and see older women as easy. If you want a serious relationships, you should be focusing on men in their 40s'. I disagree... Older men are NOT more likely to want to be in serious relationships.. (well, unless they want to start a family...) They are just as fine f**g women for fun as anyone... Except that they don't last as long Even more so if they are trolling for the young'ins. If they make a habit out of it, you can bet they will be tossing you the minute you show your age... Like I said before... sincerity is a 'premium' at any age. There are no guarantees.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Dream on. European countries, including those in the north, had endemically high unemployment even before the Euro crisis. And once the Northern European banks start to fold (Dexia, the first of the dominos, already fell) thanks to the "shenanigans" of their "party-hardy" southern neighbours, it's going to get worse. Much worse. The Europeans are now paying the price for decades of socialist policies and irresponsible overspending, not to mention the bizarre New World Order experiment know as the European Union. That's not to say the U.S. is doing much better. But at least you speak the language. For someone in your position, who likely is not fluent in any language other than English, getting a decent job in Europe is going to be next to impossible, especially during a recession. Who'd want to hire an American when the locals are getting laid off left and right? Not true (about their unemployment rates). They are kicking ass. So is their GDP... They have some tough choices ahead... that's for sure. Resisting the urge to bail out the Southerners, mostly. We can disagree on policy... but the numbers don't lie. There are a very small handful of people in the US who are benefitting from globalization and no regs. It isn't you... and never will be. Fortunately for me, English is still the language that is fairly universal. Probably not for much longer. I'm thinking about picking up Chinese.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Sure, there are serial bachelors out there, but I think it's fair to say that most never married men in their 30's want to start a family. And they are looking to start it with a younger woman. Most of my friends/family are married to women close to their own age. Within a year or two. I think you are probably talking about OLD. Yes, that IS fantasy world. I agree.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 You think you can find a job as an engineer in Germany, France, Norway, etc. without speaking the local language? Good luck with that . Unless you are qualified for an executive level position in the field of international banking/fiance, you will not get very far with just English. Germany and France, yes. If it is for an American company. But in general, no. You are right about needing to speak the language. No biggie. I'm happy to learn new things! I have four years of Spanish under my belt (that was handy living in the US... not so much in Europe!). I understand the grammar and vocabulary. Wouldn't be a tough switch. The Scandanavian countries? Yes, probably. They are all fluent in English. That, combined with a desire to learn their language and culture... that goes a long way. But we've hijacked this thread long enough!!
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I decided recently that it was about time to start dating again. I haven't put any real effort into it, but I met a guy through some friends. Initially, I politely gave him signals that I wasn't interested because he's in his 20's. I even tried to set him up with a friend his age. But we've been hanging out and he's a lot of fun and I know where this is headed from the painfully obvious flirtation. So here I am, overthinking it and talking myself out of it. I don't want to waste any time on something that's not going anywhere while Mr. Right could be right around the corner. Even if he is a lot of fun to be around. I thought about just being friends, but the chemistry's a bit too high. And the fact that I woke up thinking about him is not indicative of a strong friendship. Why can't I have this problem with someone my age? Why do guys in their 30's rarely hit on me, but every 20 something will. I have the same problem. I'm 32 and live in a college town. I look very young for my age and all the 20 somethings try to pick me up. While they are very attractive, what kind of relationship would I have with a college kid? Not a very good one. Although my last relationship was with a 37 year old, he wasn't much for relationships either. He was from California and only here in NY for a short time. He wasn't looking for a long term thing. Also he was bipolar and not on meds. Not an easy situation. He ended up losing his sh*t and cheating on me. I dumped him. Needless to say it's not easy dating in your 30's.
Nexus One Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) I have many European countries that are high on my list. Interestingly enough... only the Northern European ones. Open up "The Economist" magazine sometime and take a peek on the financials on the back few pages. The Northern European countries are doing quite well, despite the shenanigans of their party-hardy southern European counterparts... and they continue to do well even though they are small (compared to the US, China, and India), have some of the best family-forward policies in the world, and generally have a standard of living that far surpasses the 'average' in the US. I could go on and on. I have PhD in engineering... not to mention skills developed as a leader in my community (public speaking, a bit of marketing, etc). In the US, that means that a technician in a labor union gets paid overtime and makes more than me... While I get to work 60-80 hour weeks working 'at will'. Meaning, I can be fired anytime for any reason... usually to hire someone from India or China making half as much. Alright. Those are the breaks. I get it. I'm adapting. I started my own company.... I'm all in favor of the free-market. I'm not in favor of no-holds-barred capitalism... In the US, that has meant supporting activities I don't support, like endless wars and refusal to recognize climate change (funded by our oil/gas companies, of course). Lets not forget that someone like GW Bush was elected twice here (f**g idiot)... and the influence of the religious right. Americans actually take PRIDE in being STUPID. This is why I gotta go... weather the storm of stupidity in a place where people 'get it'.... Well, better than here at least. It's not all gold that shines. To give you some tax level examples: Denmark: 25% VAT, 25% corporate tax, 57% income tax. Netherlands: 19% VAT, 30% corporate tax, 52% income tax. Sweden: 25% VAT, 26% corporate tax, 57% income tax. Norway: 25% VAT, 28% corporate tax, 54% income tax. Suppose you make a 100 Euros in profit (not revenue!) as a Swedish business owner, then you'll end up with a little more than 23 Euros that you can put in your own wallet. That's a tax rate of 77%. F*cking ridiculous. Sure, healthcare in those countries is free or almost free, public transit is quite good and sometimes even free, social security is decent, government services in general are widely available and of decent quality. You could say the governments in those countries have "things in order". However, from the perspective of a business owner, those tax rates are pure f*cking theft. In North America taxes are lower, but in the US the healthcare system is a disaster in my opinion. Canada also has significantly lower tax rates than the Northern European countries, but they are able to offer the same types of government services at equal quality as the Northern European countries. Hence I think Canada has found the perfect balance between the US style system and the Northern/North Western European style system. Canada wins, eh? Edited October 10, 2011 by Nexus One
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 It's not all gold that shines. To give you some tax level examples: Denmark: 25% VAT, 25% corporate tax, 57% income tax. Netherlands: 19% VAT, 30% corporate tax, 52% income tax. Sweden: 25% VAT, 26% corporate tax, 57% income tax. Norway: 25% VAT, 28% corporate tax, 54% income tax. Suppose you make a 100 Euros in profit (not revenue!) as a Swedish business owner, then you'll end up with a little more than 23 Euros that you can put in your own wallet. That's a tax rate of 77%. F*cking ridiculous. Sure, healthcare in those countries is free or almost free, public transit is quite good and sometimes even free. Government services in general are widely available and of decent quality. You could say the governments in those countries have "things in order". However, from the perspective of a business owner, those tax rates are pure f*cking theft. In North America taxes are lower, but in the US the healthcare system is a disaster in my opinion. Canada also has significantly lower tax rates than the Northern European countries, but they are able to offer the same types of government services at equal quality as the Northern European countries. Hence I think Canada has found the perfect balance between the US style system and the Northern/North Western European style system. Canada wins, ey? Canada should win... I know... I love Europe though... I was in Denmark and Norway about a year ago on business. I dunno... part of it must be my genetic heritage. It feels like 'home'. I'm being called back to the 'motherland' Regarding the tax rates in Scandanavian countries... after you do all of the math... property tax, sales tax... cost of insurance... we aren't paying much less here in NY state believe it or not. I know that sounds ridiculous... over there, it comes out all at once. Here, we get nickel and dimed to death. I LOVE that you pulled out the numbers though... very cool! Toronto is a pretty hip city. Vancouver and Montreal aren't too shabby either... Alright, alright. I'll look at Canada!
mesmerized Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Most of my friends/family are married to women close to their own age. Within a year or two. I think you are probably talking about OLD. Yes, that IS fantasy world. I agree. This forum makes it seem like all women are with men 10 years older than them! That's simply not true. Most of my family and friends (except a couple of them off the top of my head) are married/ in a relationship with someone close to their own age and my friends in their thirties often date/get in a relationship with younger men probably because there are not many older men available. Edited October 10, 2011 by mesmerized
thatone Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 i have this argument pretty often with my 50s/60s era rah rah patriotic parents. here's my thing, lets look at the soviets for example, since this isn't entirely economic. they, like us, had the WW2 victory, shortly after their revolution. their grandparents had that idea to hold on to, stick with the motherland, we'll win. i'm sure those grandparents taught it to their parents. but when you get to the third generation, and you've been working for the military because the motherland told you to for your whole life, and got barely sustenance in return, and that military loses in afghanistan (hint hint, stupid americans), what are you supposed to think? it was all a lie. americans in this generation i think are beginning to learn the same thing. they did what they were told. they went to school, they took out debt to get college degrees, and they bought the house and the cars and the 2.5 kids on a signature, because their income is stagnant. so when a recession comes along and takes it all away, what do they do? grin and bear it? b*tch about the government? or just leave? that's the options, really. and i think in our lifetimes we will see an increasing number of people that just leave. it's not worth the hassle. i don't care about the world wars, they're over, we won't ever see those days again. i don't owe america anything. i pay a helluva lot in taxes every year so that's all they're gonna get from me. if they screw it all up, i'll just leave.
Nexus One Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Found a comprehensive graphic regarding income and corporate taxes in the West: http://bit.ly/rdTZB7 Switzerland looks good, they also have the best democratic system in the world in my opinion. Although I've heard it's quite hard to gain Swiss nationality. Pretty much the only way to do it is by marriage. In most countries you can invest a 100K in a company and you then can get an investors visa, after several years you then can get the status of nationality (of that country). So you can buy your way into countries and gain its nationality, that allows you to fall under their taxation system. Switzerland, has brick-walled this type of "behavior". However, a lot of especially rich people want to fall under the Swiss taxation system, but the only way to do that is to marry someone with the Swiss nationality. So I've heard of stories about billionaires marrying someone with a Swiss nationality, just to gain the Swiss nationality and fall under their taxation system. I quite like Switzerland. They're different, their system is honest in my opinion. Edited October 10, 2011 by Nexus One
Nexus One Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 (edited) Ok hear this. Financially, it's clever to do the following thing. 1. Gain the Swiss nationality, fall under its income tax system. 2. Start a company, but register it in Ireland to have your company fall under its corporate tax system. (Like Google did for its EU division) 3. Do business or trade with companies in other EU nations to make use of the 0% intra-EU VAT tax rate. That way you pay relatively little taxes. Sorry for deviating from the topic. Edited October 11, 2011 by Nexus One
Author daphne Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Guys, enough thread jacking. I feel like I just tried to login to my hotmail account and someone changed the password.
ShannonMI Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Guys, enough thread jacking. I feel like I just tried to login to my hotmail account and someone changed the password. Yeah I was going to say the same thing. Totally off topic right now.
Author daphne Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 waiting for MR.right, lol. Seriously, you might not find this "right" guy in 10 years or more or never! I have a friend who has been waiting for this Mr. right since she was like 28 and now she is 35... Live your life and enjoy what you have instead of waiting for something that you have no idea when happens. True. But at the same time, it's almost like you're advocating having a relationship with someone that will most likely go nowhere. A very difficult concept to swallow. I'm all for living in the moment, except when it comes to sex for some reason. :/ My bf is turning 42 in Dec, I just turned 23! I love him with all my heart and I truly want it to last and become more serious! The thing is he's in the "I dont know" stage, we've been dating for 2 1/2 years and I know!!! But he keeps telling me that he doesn't want me to be in my 60s married to a guy in his 80s and some how I'll b missing out on life. It really hurts and I've been going through alot with this, so my suggestion is if you are only going to make it a fling then DO NOT go through with it!! Spare the heartache!! I keep telling my bf why the hell did he let us being something if the age is such an issue with him, when clearly it is not an issue at all with me! I know what I got myself into and I was happy with my decision but I feel like he's making that decision for me! I hate it! I'm sorry you're going through this. He's actually looking out for you, believe it or not. You are very young. I think if you were 30, he'd feel satisfied that you had done enough living to make a decision, but 23 is just the beginning. I don't think going out once will hurt. I'm certainly not going to sleep with someone just because they offer to fix my washer.
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