OCCDAVE Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 That girl i was chatting we been texting random nothing serious or anything .i sent here a text tonight making a last ditch effort to hang out heres what happen Whats up.got plans tonight i was thinking we could get dinner or drinks Few hours later she replied with these hey sorry it took awhile im getting ready to go to a club. Im very attracted to u, but ...I dont think we are compatible. We can stay friends. I like to party & u seem more quiet. Aka i like to whore around or trying to not just say go f yourself
HeavenOrHell Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 What's the problem exactly? She's not interested in dating/having a r/ship with you, it happens, time to move on, it's not like you were together for years, were you even ever properly together? I managed to get over an 18 year r/ship, I'm sure you can move on from this. Nothing wrong with her not thinking you're compatible, it's out of order for you to badmouth her just cos turned you down and likes going to parties!! I'm not surprised she's not into you, you don't sound nice, calling her a 'whore' cos she likes to go out, I mean c'mon! I'm assuming you're a teenager as you sound very immature, maybe it's time to grow up and not badmouth someone just because they don't want to go out with you. Her text to you was friendly and mature, would you have felt better if she'd said 'go f yourself'???!!! Bitterness is not an attractive trait. That girl i was chatting we been texting random nothing serious or anything .i sent here a text tonight making a last ditch effort to hang out heres what happen Whats up.got plans tonight i was thinking we could get dinner or drinks Few hours later she replied with these hey sorry it took awhile im getting ready to go to a club. Im very attracted to u, but ...I dont think we are compatible. We can stay friends. I like to party & u seem more quiet. Aka i like to whore around or trying to not just say go f yourself
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 Opps i added the whorish part here im upset but wouldnt curse at her at all.thats uncalled for and not needed.im just venting im upset and felt i drained to much effort if you read my past post.i dunno anymore
HeavenOrHell Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Fair enough you're upset, but the 'whore' bit was a bit much, it's unpleasant even if you weren't saying it directly to her. I haven't read your past posts, probably best to keep it all to one thread, so it's easier for people to get a clearer picture, even so, the 'whore' thing was out of order, upset or not. But, I'm sorry you're hurting. I think she let you down gently, in a kind way, I think you'd feel worse if she'd told you in a not so nice way, I wouldn't want to be told to 'f off' by anyone. Try to put it behind you now, if she doesn't want to be with you, then she's right, you two weren't compatible, it doesn't mean either of you are in the wrong, or not good enough, or anything like that, nothing wrong if you're not into parties and are more of a quiet person, if that's true. I am too, hate parties, so does my partner, I'm attracted to quiet guys You'll be fine it can take a few r/ships and a lot of dating, before finding someone you really click with, someone who loves you in the way you love them. Opps i added the whorish part here im upset but wouldnt curse at her at all.thats uncalled for and not needed.im just venting im upset and felt i drained to much effort if you read my past post.i dunno anymore
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 Well to sum it up month or so ago we went on our first date it went well.she held my hands we made out all stuff she made first move.second date was even better and a third was planned.i made a dumb lets be exclusive comment next day i get lets be friends comment i said fine thats cool.i text her week later shes sick and then i.tried yesterday and i get the lets stay friends.ok i get her point but friends can at least return calls rightand they do hang out last i check?
CocoaBrown Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Well to sum it up month or so ago we went on our first date it went well.she held my hands we made out all stuff she made first move.second date was even better and a third was planned.i made a dumb lets be exclusive comment next day i get lets be friends comment i said fine thats cool.i text her week later shes sick and then i.tried yesterday and i get the lets stay friends.ok i get her point but friends can at least return calls rightand they do hang out last i check? It's time to move on. It sounds like she was interested and attracted to you but you're not as outgoing as she would like you to be. I agree with the other poster that you calling her a whore wasn't necessary but it sounds like you were just upset and realize that now. Now as far as the friends comment and then her kinda disappearing on you.....sounds like her saying lets just be friends was her way of nicely telling you she doesn't want much to do with you anymore. That's why she's not contacting you. Stop texting and/or calling her! She obviously knows how you feel about her and you deserve to have someone who feels the same way about you! You will find someone....I know it's hard to deal with rejection but you will be ok!
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 Well i called her a whore here not on the text but still.it was wrong.just mad y offer friendship and not act like it sigh
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Hmm well i replied saying sounds good to the friend offer and if you wanna get some food next week lemme know.she replied with how bout tuesday i said ya that works fine.should i go and if so act how.
CocoaBrown Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Hmm well i replied saying sounds good to the friend offer and if you wanna get some food next week lemme know.she replied with how bout tuesday i said ya that works fine.should i go and if so act how. If I told you not to go would you listen to me? lol You want to go and actually if she keeps true to her word and meets up, you need to. I say this because you should use this time to get some clarity on the situation. Ask her what her idea of being friends looks like. Make sure you are on the same page so you can avoid further frustrations. If you aren't on the same page let her know what you were thinking and see what she says. Just another thought: I think it's going to be hard for you to be her friend. I know I'm just going off of a few of your posts, but if she just holds your hands and kisses you a little and you feel like this, how are you going to feel if you are friends and know she is spending time with other guys....kissing them and/or having sex with them. Just something to think about.
Imageiko Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Stop torturing yourself. You already knew that it was likely over. Nothing has changed. If I were you I'd cancel on her and not initiate anymore contact. There are plenty of girls out there it's time to move on.
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Well coco tuesday is bit away so lets see if she holds her word.if so i dunno how ill act ill be straight up with you tbh.i mean be like well you said we dont connect well we both have interest in each other lets try taking it one day at a time?i dunno guess i got alot to learn about relationships.main thing i took if things are well dont ask for exclusive
CocoaBrown Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 If you don't mind me asking....how old are you?
neghitzbrah Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Why try so hard to get with this girl? OCCDAVE, what do you want right now? Do you want a girlfriend or do you just wanna have sex with someone? If you just wanna have fun, then why'd you ask to be exclusive with a girl who obviously isn't looking for that right now? She doesn't deserve a minute of your time. Whatever happens on Tuesday won't end up well.
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Im 28 and as what i want well i wanted a gf and i thought this was where this was going till i open my mouth.im man enough to admit i asked about hanging out maybe to get some answers.like id like to see you again or since this isnt a date dont even ask .heck maybe just be ballsy and try seeing if she puts out i dunno sigh
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 So far our dinner is still on any advice how i handle the outing
Imageiko Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I'd cancel. This might actually renew her interest. Then I'd start dating other people as it will make sure you don't go crazy over her if she decides to get interested again. You came on way to strong before, as I said you have to pull back or else you're going to put the nail in the coffin. If all you want is a friend then by all means go have dinner and pour your heart out to her. I have a feeling if you go that's what you'll do and that will be the result afterwords.
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 I think its time i throw my hands up and start to listen.i was not gonna pour my heart out but truth is i was gonna try flirting with her and being jerkish talking about other girls make her jealous.so how do i go about canceling and wont that count as a nail to
bluenightowl Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I think its time i throw my hands up and start to listen.i was not gonna pour my heart out but truth is i was gonna try flirting with her and being jerkish talking about other girls make her jealous.so how do i go about canceling and wont that count as a nail to You should definitely cancel the date and then go NC. That is your only hope, but I think its a mistake to hold out hope at all. Think about it, she said she wants to party and you are too quiet. She said she wants to be friends. That's a very selfish thing to offer to a guy who she knows really like her, but its probably her way to exit gently. Why give her anything, why waste your time on her. Look for the women who treat you like you are gold.
Imageiko Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I think its time i throw my hands up and start to listen.i was not gonna pour my heart out but truth is i was gonna try flirting with her and being jerkish talking about other girls make her jealous.so how do i go about canceling and wont that count as a nail to Just say something has come up that day and you can't make it anymore. Keep it very brief and don't talk about anything else. Actually it might be best if you just do it via text, that way you won't get yourself in any trouble. Simply text hey sorry somethings come up I can't do dinner. That's it, don't respond to any follow up texts from her and just stop thinking about her and start looking for other girls that interest you. In the future don't verbalize such strong interest so soon. Show that you're interested with your actions instead.
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 I guess i should have sent it sooner she struck first. Hey i have to baby sit so i cant do tonight sorry. Ugh lesson learned now strick nc pus when do i delete her off my fb
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 Im beyond upset and hurt i fd this up
Imageiko Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 You at least learned though so you won't make the same mistake next time right? Trust me there will be plenty of next times. Best thing you can do right now is stop focusing on your past mistakes take solace in the fact you were able to learn from this and now have the ability to do better next time. Go out and meet new girls, there are plenty out there just as good as this one.
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 Should i delete her off my fb?yes i def learned a lesson which was things are going good go with the flow do not ask for exclusive.ill shake the webs off regroup and try my hunt again.thanks again everyone for helping in my posts sooner or later ill real in a good catch
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