Buttercup84 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Ok I know people will tell me these is no point in doing this but it is just a bit weird for me.Keep in mind , this was my first serious relationship so I am new to all this. A few weeks before he dumped me , my ex called me while I was out and asked me about my clothes size. When I got home he had bought me two warm jumpers , some bed socks , slippers and scarfs. It was freezing in our house at that time so it was really nice.He said he bought it for me because he was proud of me for doing so well at work. He often bought me some tops if I liked them , even ran back into the newsagent to get me a magazine after he saw me looking at it. He came home with some knitting stuff for me as I wanted to learn how to knit ( yeah I am uncool ) . All weeks before we ended. I mean WTF ? were these presents out of guilt ? as some of you may know he was a jerk to me most of the time in the end , went on a dating site etc. And I was sitting in our study on the computer and it was freezing.He brought in a little heater and put his big warm jacket around me and hugged me.Apart from that he was cold towards me. That is what I do not get.Why get me these things and do little sweet things when you are going to dump me ? I know some people on here have said that their ex's even spoke about marriage weeks before they dumped them. Some thoughts ?
immitable Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Just my opinion, I could be wrong though... I think we often treat people the way we want to be treated so them doing nice things at the time when running an internal dialogue to break up has a lot to do with how they want to be treated at that particular moment.
TheDovic Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Just my opinion, I could be wrong though... I think we often treat people the way we want to be treated so them doing nice things at the time when running an internal dialogue to break up has a lot to do with how they want to be treated at that particular moment. Hey Buttercup, hope all's well with you. I agree with Immitable, maybe he saw problems in the relationship and was treating you in a way he wanted to be treated. In the months leading up to my breakup my ex was too involved in her work and not enough in us, so I started spoiling her i.e. buying her things, saying nice things etc... because I really wanted her to start treating me nicely again! Alternatively, it might have been out of guilt, or maybe he knew there was a problem with the relationship and was trying to reignite the spark by doing something nice!
Author Buttercup84 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 Hey Buttercup, hope all's well with you. I agree with Immitable, maybe he saw problems in the relationship and was treating you in a way he wanted to be treated. In the months leading up to my breakup my ex was too involved in her work and not enough in us, so I started spoiling her i.e. buying her things, saying nice things etc... because I really wanted her to start treating me nicely again! Alternatively, it might have been out of guilt, or maybe he knew there was a problem with the relationship and was trying to reignite the spark by doing something nice! Thanks Dovic , am doing ok thanks , and you ? That is interesting . He always got me little things , I got him little gifts too.Actually now that you mention it , I started to go crazy with buying him little things , doing more cleaning ( I can be a bit messy..) and spoiling him more because I felt him pulling away. Oh well.No point wondering anymore now I guess , but thank you and thank you too immitable xx
TheDovic Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Thanks Dovic , am doing ok thanks , and you ? That is interesting . He always got me little things , I got him little gifts too.Actually now that you mention it , I started to go crazy with buying him little things , doing more cleaning ( I can be a bit messy..) and spoiling him more because I felt him pulling away. Oh well.No point wondering anymore now I guess , but thank you and thank you too immitable xx Apart from being really hungover I'm fine! You said you would always buy him things, so maybe he was trying to match your energy to recreate a bit of happiness for you both! It's so tough not knowing though, but it is quite strange he's buy you these things before breaking up!
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