Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I know what you're gonna say. "Everyone has a different kissing style, you have to show him what you like, how else is he supposed to know..." etc. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about universally bad kissers, the guys who do things that no one is ever supposed to do when kissing. Like drooling all over the girl's face because he doesn't swallow while he's kissing. Or shoving his tongue into her mouth with so much force that she chokes on it. Or opening his mouth so wide that his kiss encompasses the entire lower half of the girl's face, including her chin and the underside of her nose. Why?! Why do they do this? I'm almost 26. At my age, there's no excuse for this. I'm not talking about guys who have never kissed before. These guys have experience, which means they've been kissing this way their whole life. My guess is that the girls they've kissed were too embarrassed to say something. But the thing is, these guys don't pick up on nonverbal cues. Like if you're kissing a girl and she's cringing away from you, that's a bad sign, right? It probably means she doesn't like what you're doing. But they don't notice when I do that! It's not very subtle, either. I'm obviously cringing and trying to pull away, but they just keep going. Or I'll start kissing with my mouth mostly closed in an effort to keep his tongue out of my mouth, but he'll just force my lips apart with his tongue and shove it in there. Never mind that there's obvious resistance on my part. Why aren't they paying attention? I've dated a few guys who were great kissers. I loved the way they kissed, and I never had to tell them what I liked. They were good at noticing nonverbal cues too, although I never reacted in a negative way because they got it right from the start. So I know they're out there. But I seem to encounter quite a few guys who just never learned how to kiss and it's awful. And if they can't kiss, they probably can't do anything else right either. What's with this phenomenon of guys in their mid-20's who kiss like they're 13? Do I really have to tell them that my face should not be wet when we're done kissing, and that my chin should not be in his mouth?
AHardDaysNight Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I guess it all boils down to natural talent and chemistry. Some have it, some don't.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Why?! Why do they do this? I'm almost 26. At my age, there's no excuse for this. I'm not talking about guys who have never kissed before. These guys have experience, which means they've been kissing this way their whole life. My guess is that the girls they've kissed were too embarrassed to say something. Are you sure about that? Perhaps they don't have experience and just say they do. Sometimes guys you'd never expect to be inexperienced are in fact inexperienced. You just never know. Might explain the inability to kiss properly...
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 (edited) Like drooling all over the girl's face because he doesn't swallow while he's kissing. Or shoving his tongue into her mouth with so much force that she chokes on it. Or opening his mouth so wide that his kiss encompasses the entire lower half of the girl's face, including her chin and the underside of her nose. OMG, your chin and nose?! I'm so sorry --- I've had that happen, but as a teenager. I'll add one --- barely opening their mouth and not knowing what to do with their tongue when it touches with yours :eek: ... years ago a guy "kissed" me and apparently he thought he was just supposed to lay his tongue on top of mine lol... it was perhaps some of the most awkward several seconds of my life. He was breathing heavily through his nose but being otherwise completely still... I had opened my eyes after trying to stir his tongue with mine to no avail, and his were open and unblinking... his whole body was then completely motionless (well, except for my ruffling of it, but he didn't respond) --- so there we were, him with his tongue sticking out of his very narrow lips, laying dead inside of mine, and me just completely turned off and confused. Ughhhhh. He tried seeing me several times after that, but I just couldn't do it then lol ... beh, we barely knew one another anyway. Kissing well can be an extremely hot skill... it is, for better or worse, a skill though yes. I personally place a lot of importance on kissing myself --- it's an enormous part of intimacy for me. With that said, it seems many people need to be "taught"... it certainly helps if someone is capable of tuning into someone's body language. In my experience, many people are oblivious to such things. If you find someone who is compatible with you in other ways, it's probably worth guiding them (granted, comprehending body language is sexier)... but thankfully it is something that can be improved upon (if someone is open to learning that is). Styles do vary too, even "honed" ones can turn off someone when they have previously dazzled others (for example, I really like when my boyfriend shoves his tongue forcefully into my mouth [although he doesn't do it for very long before relenting --- I might feel differently if he did, it's like I appreciate the brief change up / passionate penetration]). In such a case, there's still room for "learning" what someone else likes, and seeing if it resonates with the one learning too. I also don't mind if saliva begins to coat our lips and down it at some point... the twirling and the folding can spiral into ravenous yumminess and it just feels like we're getting out of control and I like that lol --- I've known many females who can't stand the idea of saliva not remaining contained though. ... regardless, it is wonderful when kissing just flows and seems natural :love: ... it's frustrating and strange when it doesn't though Edited October 9, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
Author Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 Are you sure about that? Perhaps they don't have experience and just say they do. Sometimes guys you'd never expect to be inexperienced are in fact inexperienced. Yes, I'm sure. These are guys that I knew pretty well, some of them I knew when they were dating other girls. I already knew something of their history before we got together. He was breathing heavily through his nose but being otherwise completely still... I had opened my eyes after trying to stir his tongue with mine to no avail, and his were open and unblinking... his whole body was then completely motionless Maybe he was in shock, lol. Should have called 911. I've known many females who can't stand the idea of saliva not remaining contained though. Yeah, I'm not a fan of drool. It doesn't feel passionate to me, it feels like my dog is kissing me. I had a particularly bad experience with this the first time I made out with my college boyfriend. (Luckily he's a fast learner and I was able to train him to kiss without drooling.) We were kissing for like 3 hours and the whole time, I was trying to surreptitiously wipe his drool off my chin. I swear to God, he did not swallow that whole time. When we got up, there was a puddle of drool on my pillowcase. It was disgusting. Then I walked him back to his dorm and he was grinning and said "Oh man, that pillow was so messed up." Like he was proud of himself! He thought that was supposed to happen. I was like "That doesn't mean you're a rock star, that means you don't know how to kiss." I mean, I didn't say that out loud, but I was thinking it. The next day, I had a rash on my chin from the drool and the constant wiping with my hand! Ugh. And I know he had a girlfriend before me. He probably thought a drenched pillowcase was the sign of a passionate makeout session. Didn't he ever wonder why he never had any drool on his face?! I don't think he would have liked it if she was drooling on him. Kissing is very important to me, and when it's done right, it's the hottest thing ever. A bad kiss is such a turn-off.
Dust Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I like to think I'm a good kisser but who knows. As long as I enjoy it. I like to lick too.
Author Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 As long as I enjoy it. Well, you should probably make sure your partner enjoys it too. Kissing usually involves 2 people, so it should be enjoyable for both of them.
Dust Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Well, you should probably make sure your partner enjoys it too. Kissing usually involves 2 people, so it should be enjoyable for both of them. You shouldn't look for some one else to create your happyness.
Author Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 Um, we're talking about kissing here. You can't have a great kiss by yourself. And it's impossible to enjoy a kiss if your partner is a bad kisser. If you're engaging in intimate activity with another person, you do have to take the other person into consideration.
Shaun-Dro Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I know what you're gonna say. "Everyone has a different kissing style, you have to show him what you like, how else is he supposed to know..." etc. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about universally bad kissers, the guys who do things that no one is ever supposed to do when kissing. Like drooling all over the girl's face because he doesn't swallow while he's kissing. Or shoving his tongue into her mouth with so much force that she chokes on it. Or opening his mouth so wide that his kiss encompasses the entire lower half of the girl's face, including her chin and the underside of her nose. Why?! Why do they do this? I'm almost 26. At my age, there's no excuse for this. I'm not talking about guys who have never kissed before. These guys have experience, which means they've been kissing this way their whole life. My guess is that the girls they've kissed were too embarrassed to say something. But the thing is, these guys don't pick up on nonverbal cues. Like if you're kissing a girl and she's cringing away from you, that's a bad sign, right? It probably means she doesn't like what you're doing. But they don't notice when I do that! It's not very subtle, either. I'm obviously cringing and trying to pull away, but they just keep going. Or I'll start kissing with my mouth mostly closed in an effort to keep his tongue out of my mouth, but he'll just force my lips apart with his tongue and shove it in there. Never mind that there's obvious resistance on my part. Why aren't they paying attention? I've dated a few guys who were great kissers. I loved the way they kissed, and I never had to tell them what I liked. They were good at noticing nonverbal cues too, although I never reacted in a negative way because they got it right from the start. So I know they're out there. But I seem to encounter quite a few guys who just never learned how to kiss and it's awful. And if they can't kiss, they probably can't do anything else right either. What's with this phenomenon of guys in their mid-20's who kiss like they're 13? Do I really have to tell them that my face should not be wet when we're done kissing, and that my chin should not be in his mouth? The only one with a problem here is you. Understand that! If your face is wet, he's kissing your face. The same applies to your chin, neck, and any thing else below. He's moving away from your lips to other territory. Why you failed to grasp that is beyond me.
Author Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 If your face is wet, he's kissing your face. The same applies to your chin, neck, and any thing else below. He's moving away from your lips to other territory. Why you failed to grasp that is beyond me. LOL, no dude, his mouth was on my mouth the whole time. The reason my face was wet is because he was drooling on me, instead of swallowing his spit. His lips didn't move away from my lips. His saliva was running down my face and gathering in a puddle on my pillow. Gross!
Feelin Frisky Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Quit cruising pyche wards and methdone clinics. Problem solved.
Author Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 Hahaha, I don't! They're totally normal and great guys otherwise, they just can't kiss. And the droolers don't walk around drooling all the time. It's just when they're kissing that they forget to swallow. It's weird.
Dust Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Hahaha, I don't! They're totally normal and great guys otherwise, they just can't kiss. And the droolers don't walk around drooling all the time. It's just when they're kissing that they forget to swallow. It's weird. So go into detail. Is this a first or second date. Have you lost interest? How old is this guy who can't kiss.
Author Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 So go into detail. Is this a first or second date. Have you lost interest? How old is this guy who can't kiss. I'm not talking about one guy specifically, just several guys that I've kissed or dated in the past. My college boyfriend, the one with the drooling problem, was 20 when we started dating. My next boyfriend was 23 and his kisses were fine until he started licking the side of my face. I'm not an ice cream cone! More recently, I hooked up with a friend who was doing the Venus flytrap thing: opening his mouth so wide that he swallowed my whole mouth and chin in one gulp. He was also leaning so far over me that I had to crane my neck back at a painful angle to kiss him (we were lying on the couch). I had to ask him to scoot down so his face would be lined up with mine. I thought that was a given, that I need to be able to reach his face, but I guess not. He's 26. I hooked up with another friend awhile ago who was choking me with his tongue. Given that this was the first time we had ever kissed, I don't think he should have been using his tongue so aggressively anyway. Most women appreciate a gradual buildup of intensity, not an overeager first kiss that makes them gag. I finally had to tell him to remove his tongue from my mouth, because he failed to notice my very obvious cringing. And the fact that I was not using my own tongue. That's a pretty clear signal that a girl isn't into the tongue thing. He's also 26. Just to clarify, I did not have sex with any of these guys, so I can only comment on their kissing skills. All these guys have had girlfriends before, none of them were virgins. What's the deal?
Dust Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I'm not talking about one guy specifically, just several guys that I've kissed or dated in the past. My college boyfriend, the one with the drooling problem, was 20 when we started dating. My next boyfriend was 23 and his kisses were fine until he started licking the side of my face. I'm not an ice cream cone! More recently, I hooked up with a friend who was doing the Venus flytrap thing: opening his mouth so wide that he swallowed my whole mouth and chin in one gulp. He was also leaning so far over me that I had to crane my neck back at a painful angle to kiss him (we were lying on the couch). I had to ask him to scoot down so his face would be lined up with mine. I thought that was a given, that I need to be able to reach his face, but I guess not. He's 26. I hooked up with another friend awhile ago who was choking me with his tongue. Given that this was the first time we had ever kissed, I don't think he should have been using his tongue so aggressively anyway. Most women appreciate a gradual buildup of intensity, not an overeager first kiss that makes them gag. I finally had to tell him to remove his tongue from my mouth, because he failed to notice my very obvious cringing. And the fact that I was not using my own tongue. That's a pretty clear signal that a girl isn't into the tongue thing. He's also 26. Just to clarify, I did not have sex with any of these guys, so I can only comment on their kissing skills. All these guys have had girlfriends before, none of them were virgins. What's the deal? I don’t know what their deal is. Are you this dissatisfied with sex also because that’s a lot more complicated and men generally stink at that too right? I guess it’s like the old story of the princess and the frog. You have to get some slimy kisses before you find your prince charming.
Author Cypress25 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 No, I've never had bad sex. Of course, I've only had sex with one guy, and he was a great kisser too. He was good at everything, so I really enjoyed sex with him. I hope men don't generally stink at sex. I guess I'll have to have sex with a few more men to find out. I need a bigger sample of men, lol. One is not enough.
somedude81 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I'm open to learning if you're willing to teach
Dust Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 No, I've never had bad sex. Of course, I've only had sex with one guy, and he was a great kisser too. He was good at everything, so I really enjoyed sex with him. I hope men don't generally stink at sex. I guess I'll have to have sex with a few more men to find out. I need a bigger sample of men, lol. One is not enough. You must live up north. The men in the South generaly are good kissers. One is a very small sample. Then again who said its your job to statistacly sample men lol.
thatone Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 You must live up north. The men in the South generaly are good kissers. haha, this is a silly stereotype that i'll go along with, being from new orleans. even my first all those years ago in high school i don't remember being particularly awkward or bad at. but maybe that's just a rose colored memory on my part. i was never overly nervous, just seemed natural. but fwiw there are bad kissers on the female side too. when there is a fear of affection/intimacy, the person in question will be bad at anything related to that, pretty simple deduction.
laotzu Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I have issues, but kissing isn't one of them. The girl I'm currently seeing won't stop kissing me - not that I'm stopping too much, either. The guys are probably just unintelligent, and mimicking porn or - as you say - have never had someone sort of correct them. Maybe just do it subtly?
thatone Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 No, I've never had bad sex. Of course, I've only had sex with one guy, and he was a great kisser too. He was good at everything, so I really enjoyed sex with him. I hope men don't generally stink at sex. I guess I'll have to have sex with a few more men to find out. I need a bigger sample of men, lol. One is not enough. if he's a bad kisser, he'll be bad in bed as others stated above.
dispatch3d Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 So you've kissed boys, supposedly a lot of boys, and yet they cannot kiss. Therefore you have determined that all guys are bad at kissing, and you should give a psa out about kissing. But what if you're the common denominator?
dispatch3d Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 haha, this is a silly stereotype that i'll go along with, being from new orleans. even my first all those years ago in high school i don't remember being particularly awkward or bad at. but maybe that's just a rose colored memory on my part. i was never overly nervous, just seemed natural. but fwiw there are bad kissers on the female side too. when there is a fear of affection/intimacy, the person in question will be bad at anything related to that, pretty simple deduction. Before driving to work, I dropped my keys. Does this mean I'm a bad driver?
Author Cypress25 Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 but fwiw there are bad kissers on the female side too. Oh, I'm sure there are women who can't kiss, but I've never kissed a woman, so I wouldn't know. if he's a bad kisser, he'll be bad in bed as others stated above. I know, I would never have sex with a bad kisser anyway because I need to be turned on before I have sex, and a bad kiss is an instant turn-off. If the kiss is that bad, my sex drive goes out the window. So you've kissed boys, supposedly a lot of boys, and yet they cannot kiss. Therefore you have determined that all guys are bad at kissing, and you should give a psa out about kissing. When did I say all guys are bad at kissing? In my OP, I said I've dated a few guys who were great kissers. I'm not complaining about them, lol. Either you have a strange kissing style or these guys are not as experienced as you think they are. I think my kissing style is pretty standard. All I ask is that the guy aim for my lips and not drool on me. And these are all guys that I know pretty well, so I know their history. They didn't even have to tell me, I've just known them long enough. I think the problem is their previous girlfriends never corrected them. That's pretty common, I hear. A friend of mine dated a guy for almost a year, and she said he always drooled all over her when they kissed. I asked if she ever corrected him and she said no, she didn't want to hurt his feelings. I was like "You just let him kiss you like that?!" She didn't like it, but she didn't know how to tell him. At least I had the decency to politely correct my college boyfriend, so his next girlfriend didn't have to deal with his drooling. I just feel like, at my age, I shouldn't have to do that anymore. My college bf was only 20 and he'd only dated one girl before me, so I was pretty understanding. But if a guy is 26 and he's had several relationships, he should at least know the basics. The girl I kissed didnt know this and I decided just to mimic what she was doing because what they do is usually what they like. Good call! And you see, it worked. Being a good kisser is all about paying attention to your partner to see how they react. If you're not paying attention, you won't be in sync.
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