Loooong letter.Very angry , be warned

[Buttercup84]

I felt like sending him this , but we all know it would do more damage than good.Plus he is too selfish to let this sink in .

 

 

Dear J ,

 

You really must think that I am stupid for believing you when you said that you signed up for RSVP because your stupid 40 year old friend who hasn't had sex in ten years asked you to , as a " wing man " .

 

You think that is Ok to do that when you were still with me ? No it is pathetic and weak. And from what I saw , you just had that profile on " hidden " the whole time we were together.In case things did not work out.

 

And you and A coming up with a plan ? No idea what it was but using that as the subject of the emails you sent eachother is horrible. A saying that I have no respect for you and you should show me the exit door ? when I asked you about it you said that he only said it because he wanted to make you feel better after the breakup.

 

NEWSFLASH : YOU DUMPED ME !!!

 

I did not treat you badly , I did so much for you and you talk **** to your friends about me ? and then you say I am not a nice person and we are only together still because you haven't met anyone nicer ???

 

 

On the day you wrote that email , I walked home for 20 minutes in the cold and pouring rain at night to bring us some dinner.I asked you to pick me up , would have just been a 5 minute drive for you.But you were tired.

 

**** you , seriously. I am sick of making excuses for you , I am sick of being to depressed to live my life because of you.BIG **** you for emotionaly abusing me and blaming me for everything.

 

Big **** you for making me feel like I was undesirable because you didn't want sex anymore and you rather watch porn.And you said the porn was for your friend A.And I believed you.

 

And you are a selfish **** for not looking after me when I was sick. I had toncilities and glanduarfever and you didn't want me to stay home as I would have lost money. You idiot , you earn way more than me and you can't just help me out when I am dragging myself out of bed each day ? you never sat with me , you made me go out with you to get your stupid coffee when I said I felt too sick to get in a car ? You said maybe I should go to my parents to let them look after me ?

 

YET

 

When you had the slightest headache , I got you tablets - I walked to the shops for you , brought you snacks and asked you how you are.You just sat on your computer playing computer games and wondered why your head hurts ??

 

You yelled at me when I asked you if you are Ok , you always sat on your computer when I was unwell , saying you were letting me rest.

 

When I got a cold you didn't kiss me for weeks , when you got my cold you blamed me.

 

You said I used to have a hot body when we met.Forgive me for putting on 2kg ! I was stll skinny.Have you looked at yourself ? you let yourself go too , but I still found you sexy and loved you.Even if you gotten overweight I would have not left you.

 

 

I hated how you remarked about hot girls , made remarks about my best friend and thought it was funny.How you hunted animals for fun , thought people who were against guns were stupid , you are a racist uneducated *******.

 

Calling me a nerd for loving to read too.

 

You didn't like my hair , what I wore.You just wear thongs , shorts and singlets for god's sake.

 

You wanted me to smell "expensive " when I had a job in admin , and always tried to change my looks.If you were not tall you would not be that good looking.Get over yourself.

 

You are a money hungry arogant man.I work in childcare and still had to pay almost $500 a fortnight plus $200 on food for us.Yes that was equal but you earn much more than me.You did not support me.I love my job even if it does not pay much.

 

You acted like a toddler when I had no money for your birthday.I had just lost my job and despite my parents who are retired , getting you a cake and a present , making you lunch it was still not good enough ? I walked all the way to get our shopping for us on your birthday and got you a balloon with the last money I had.

 

And I was stupid enough to send you a camping set after you dumped me . Because I felt so bad about your birthday.I sent you food and money , so you could see your friends now you have to pay all the bills and rent.

 

You might have said thank you and thought it was nice , but I was stupid for doing that.

 

We never went out anymore , you just wanted to play games and see your friends at the pub.You said you were too busy to send me a sms when you were at work - seriously , not even a minute of your day ?

 

My cooking wasn't good enough , the plates were never clean enough .

 

I remember bringing you your favourite burger once , you were not home so I was going to heat it up when you got home.Were you thankful ? no , you got angry at me for not picking up my phone sooner so you could tell me you are not home.You got angry as the burger was cold now.

 

I cried myself to sleep because you said you were to embaressed to go out for dinner with me as I did not finish my meal.You said you tried so so hard to make this work between us.Sitting in your room all day playing a stupid game , ignoring me and just watching tv is NOT trying !!

 

And when I had my abortion ? yes I know you were hurt , but have you ever considered how I felt ? I was the one who had to go through it , I am the one who will forever feel sad and guilty for doing this.While you can screw as many girls as you want to , I have to live with it.You never once asked me how I was feeling , how I was dealing with it.You made it all about you.

 

I did it because the baby would have had a **** life.If I left you and raised the child alone you would have taken him/her away from me. You would have only been there for the fun parts of having a baby.

 

You were able to walk away and start a new life. I will always wonder what could have been if I kept my child.

 

I was never good enough for you.I am too good for you !

 

I am not perfect , but I would never treat anyone like you treated me.Sure you will have more money than me , maybe even get married before me and have the house , the kids and the wife.

 

But I will be happier .Why ? because I take people for who they are , I do not have to please everyone or feel embaressed. I will find a man who will be fun , not agressiv , love animals and children and will be proud to be seen with me.

 

You will always be at war with someone , always threatning people , always being upset about someting.

 

Good riddance Jeremy.

Edited October 9, 2011 by Buttercup84

[mike588]

I hope you feel better getting that out. I know I did when I posted a thread here a few days ago.

 

I know how you feel, some of those things I can relate to and it's so painful.

[Surfer Girl]

The anger stage.... Get it all out... You have every right to be angry... I want to get there...Now you know why he is not good for you...

[shayla]

I spent months angry. All I could do was let it out, express it as much as I could and then be done with it forever. I put up a picture of my ex and the woman he married 2 months after he dumped me. Everybody begged me to take the pic down. But I know me. I knew that I needed to get this all out. I had to mourn the entire situation. Once I'm over it, ill be able to go anywhere and not give a damn if I see them out together, and when they try to rub my face in what they did, they will not get the satisfaction of seeing me sweat.

[EgoJoe]

I suggest you use a Punching bag, do pushups and start journalling.

 

Whatever it takes to not break NC!

[2sunny]

you may benefit from counseling to see why you put up with such minimal compassion from a man - an abusive one at that...

 

what is your reason for that justification... "i loved him" is not an adequate answer... find out why - and be sure never to participate that way again.

[nature]

I feel so sad for you reading that letter, because you accepted such bread crumbs from a "boy"...not a man. And that you obviously thought you didn't deserve better. It made me sad to read, because once upon a time I was in a similar relationship and was broken down to the point I can tell you are. But one day I woke up and said "enough". I packed all of my things when he was at work, and i left. Deep inside me I knew I deserved better and knew I was worth so much more. Most of all, I knew he didn't deserve me. You are correct in not sending him that letter, because no, it will do nothing. He will twist it around and call you crazy and use it as even more reason to justify leaving you. Because he does not want to face or accept the way he treated you. You were his doormat. That is not love. I know it hurts right now. But trust me, if you can stay away, you will slowly grow stronger, until one day you feel like your old self again. I promise.

 

We get treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. You allowed him to treat you that way, and he went with it and ran with it. I hope you can stay away and not go back for more crumbs. I hope you can find that pride and dignity inside that really says "he doesn't deserve me". Fighting with him more will not help. People learn from our actions, not our words. Which is why sending him that letter won't help. Showing him you are staying away is what will help.

 

Please be strong no matter how much it hurts.

[Mack05]

Good to vent, always good to vent but don't sent buttercup...Trust me on that