grkBoy Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I just heard from a female friend that a guy friend of hers BOUGHT her a plane ticket. She was talking about taking a weekend with friends for her birthday and another friend's birthday, but she was low on cash...so this guy bought her a ticket. NOW...even she sees it...he's hoping this will all lead to "more". He is all over her Facebook posts, always pressing "Like" and adding comments, always flattering her, etc. She personally felt this went too far and simply told him the truth and didn't accept the ticket. I'm only writing about this because if this even remotely sounds like you ever in your life...STOP. Buy a plane ticket for the woman who calls herself "your girlfriend", not the "buddy" you're hoping will grow to love you. Dear Lord...I can't believe guys do this. Even when I was in my deepest phase of being a doormat nice guy I never went that far. Bought them dinner, changed a tire, got them into clubs, yeah...but a plane ticket?
somedude81 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 That's pathetic. It's amazing how far some guys can go.
Cracker Jack Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Yeah, that's definitely a doormat. I used to offer things to women I had feelings for whenever they needed something. That was awhile back. At least she didn't accept it. Some women would just continue accepting things from guys like that.
FitChick Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Perhaps he needs to learn the hard way that you cannot buy love. Reminds me of elementary school when this pathetic little girl would give her lunch, lunch money, toys, etc., to other girls so they'd be her friend. They despised her. Nothing wrong with giving something to a real boyfriend or girlfriend, though, because you know the feelings are reciprocated.
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 (edited) Being showered with gifts and affection by males who are not perceived as attractive, actually just tend to make them more repulsive... it's counter-productive, as it rarely helps them become more attractive. Females may "use" these men for their gifts and obvious validations, but they've generally no intentions of romantically getting involved with them (or staying involved with them, if they do delve there... and even then, it's likely not out of a true sincere desire for such person) I don't quite understand it myself but... Until one develops a deeper compassion and can understand that these males have feelings etc., it's just naturally extremely off-putting. It reeks of desperation and powerlessness... IF the male is perceived as attractive, it can be interpreted as a sign of reassurance , as in the male is interested ---that is when such actions are received and appreciated better. Granted, if the attractive male does not retain some mystery / challenge, and he showers in excess where his allure is drowned out by it, he can become less attractive too... There is a fine line between being good at pleasing and being a doormat... and it depends upon how wanted someone's attention is initially, and much that desire is built up etc... Edited October 9, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
Hot Chick Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I briefly dated a girl like that in undergrad. She had a very fat and unattractive "friend" who kept buying her things (flowers, gifts, etc.) No only did she have no plans to ever sleep with him, she though he was the most pathetic person ever...she mocked him at every opportunity when he wasn't around. To that day, I remember that guy as the textbook definition of a loser. Wow, she sounds like such a sweetheart. lol What a wonderful young woman she must have been, lol.
ChessPieceFace Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 If he's rich, it wouldn't necessarily be seen as a bad thing IMO. If she knows it's not that much of an expense for him, and it was important to her. But in general, yeah. I find that buying things for girls always makes things worse. Like, not only are you awkward, but you're trying to compensate by buying something, and thus announcing it.
WhiteChocolate Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Trying to buy a friend or date is always awkward. Small gifts for special occasions are normal, but a PLANE TICKET? Donating to a charity is generous, but donating to a person, hoping to get something out of that person, is bribing. And since she hasn't even reciprocated interest, all that facebook liking and stalking is definitely creepy.
Sugarkane Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Wow where go I find this guy? When I was dating my ex he constantly bragged about how much he Was going to earn. But we went double Dutch with EVERYTHING.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Wow where go I find this guy? When I was dating my ex he constantly bragged about how much he Was going to earn. But we went double Dutch with EVERYTHING. Even the bus and the jump-rope???
UpDownAllAround Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Even with all of my failures...they don't even measure up to this guy. I am so glad I am not THIS guy.
smudge21 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I always thought a doormat was someone IN a relationship who was getting treated like dirt and not willing to do anything to change it, just someone who accepts their place while they're other half walk all over them... hence the term. This guy is clearly obsessed and thinks this is a way to win a girl over, but I'm sure there's many on here who have made similar mistakes (okay, maybe not as far as a plane ticket). Afterall, we only learn from our own mistakes, not from the mistakes of others.
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