Lobouspo Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I'm curious as to what people's thoughts are on this. If we meet someone and have a good time, it may not matter, as there is always someone better a click a way on a dating site, facebook etc. It's more convenient and easier to meet people now more than ever, but when we meet potential mates is it more watered down and less meaningful these days? Same is true for marriage and exclusive relationships. Alot of times I think people run away from problems in relationships, because they can find someone to have an affair with or get a prostitute online, numb the pain and avoid the problems by turning to pornography which is so readily available. Just curious as to your thoughts on this, and if you have seen it manifested in your own life in some fashion.
mesmerized Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I'm curious as to what people's thoughts are on this. If we meet someone and have a good time, it may not matter, as there is always someone better a click a way on a dating site, facebook etc. It's more convenient and easier to meet people now more than ever, but when we meet potential mates is it more watered down and less meaningful these days? Same is true for marriage and exclusive relationships. Alot of times I think people run away from problems in relationships, because they can find someone to have an affair with or get a prostitute online, numb the pain and avoid the problems by turning to pornography which is so readily available. Just curious as to your thoughts on this, and if you have seen it manifested in your own life in some fashion. Couldn't agree more. I really wish online dating didn't exist...then people would have to gain some courage and get to know each other in real. It's much more natural and desirable that way and allows for better, more meaningful relationships.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I'm curious as to what people's thoughts are on this. If we meet someone and have a good time, it may not matter, as there is always someone better a click a way on a dating site, facebook etc. It's more convenient and easier to meet people now more than ever, but when we meet potential mates is it more watered down and less meaningful these days? Same is true for marriage and exclusive relationships. Alot of times I think people run away from problems in relationships, because they can find someone to have an affair with or get a prostitute online, numb the pain and avoid the problems by turning to pornography which is so readily available. Just curious as to your thoughts on this, and if you have seen it manifested in your own life in some fashion. Nope. The worst that happens is married people look online for adultery. Even if they didnt do it online, they will find ways to do it if they want to do it. They did it before the internet, but people didnt talk about it, and people were more slick. The internet just left a trail. The internet doesnt make meeting people any easier, because people are always trying to trade up online, and most of them dont get anywhere. People who have choices now will use them, because there are basically more people, and 20 somethings become more promiscuous and date more people. Because of that, people realize you dont have to stay with someone when the relationship isnt working. But people usually have no idea what they are doing with relationships, so they wind up marrying people while ignoring all of the red flags. The internet has nothing to do with this. SO since people have more dating partners these days, they bail once they run into something thats a dealbreaker, and they should. It teaches people to look for the right partner, instead of staying with someone who isnt right for you just because of an archaic custom. Of course, there are people who just arent relationship material either, so one has to learn how to spot those, and stay away from them. All the internet has been doing is making people who are too scared to learn to be social, more afraid, and more socially inept.
coolheadal Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Why oh why do you guys and gals say the strangest things here. Not everyone going to be able to follow the days of yesterday year. Things have change. Way to many shy people out there. Some don't know how to talk to girls or have a clue how to get a date started. That's why you have the internet and dating sites. Sure you might never meet that perfect person in your life but still every has baggage that they carry around with them. So let those who just play the old ways of meeting that special girl in the real world and has turned to the virtual world to do it. Hey some have made it this way and some have not. Look at all of you here right now you're all here typing in the virtual world so your doing it the new way too!
alphamale Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 well, its not helping. some people are losing their people skills or not getting them at all cause they look at a screen 10 hours/day
thatone Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Nope. The worst that happens is married people look online for adultery. Even if they didnt do it online, they will find ways to do it if they want to do it. They did it before the internet, but people didnt talk about it, and people were more slick. The internet just left a trail. The internet doesnt make meeting people any easier, because people are always trying to trade up online, and most of them dont get anywhere. People who have choices now will use them, because there are basically more people, and 20 somethings become more promiscuous and date more people. Because of that, people realize you dont have to stay with someone when the relationship isnt working. But people usually have no idea what they are doing with relationships, so they wind up marrying people while ignoring all of the red flags. The internet has nothing to do with this. SO since people have more dating partners these days, they bail once they run into something thats a dealbreaker, and they should. It teaches people to look for the right partner, instead of staying with someone who isnt right for you just because of an archaic custom. Of course, there are people who just arent relationship material either, so one has to learn how to spot those, and stay away from them. All the internet has been doing is making people who are too scared to learn to be social, more afraid, and more socially inept. people were not more slick, they just had less chance of getting caught. the internet has a paper trail. i think you're looking at the next part ass-backwards. i agree that people don't know what they're doing with relationships, but i don't see a huge number of marriages despite that. i see a lot more people throwing other people away over silly things rather than trying to work out their issues or their partner's issues. and that plays into the 'trade up' point. i mean, single women over 30? virtually non existent in the old days. a professionally successful unmarried man past 35? again, almost never. and i agree that the internet gives people a quasi-social experience and encourages them to ignore their real life social issues.
FitChick Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 If it weren't for technology, I'd never have met all the wonderful men I dated. It's a great tool for weeding out all the "tools." In the old days, people stayed with the same person mainly because they never got a chance to meet anyone else if they lived in a small town or isolated area. Internet dating is what you make it.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 i think you're looking at the next part ass-backwards. i agree that people don't know what they're doing with relationships, but i don't see a huge number of marriages despite that. Are you serious? Are you aware of the divorce rate? More people are getting married faster, and people are giving up on their marriages more often than ever. On LS alone its here constantly. People get turned off quickly when they have options. Its a "me me me" society, and people are doing anything and everything to ensure their own happiness no matter who they stomp on along the way, because you only live once. They see how miserable their parents were, and they work on not being that way. Problem is, they get skewed and sensitive on what the dealbreakers are, and when they have other options, they dont want to work on the relationship. I still stand by my original statement. As far as dating, The internet only makes the cowards, more cowardly. Whoever was too chicken to approach people before, and confront problems, are even more inept because getting rejected on the net is minimal on the ego, and people learn to avoid that. Its a f*ckin shame is what it is.
thatone Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Are you serious? Are you aware of the divorce rate? More people are getting married faster, and people are giving up on their marriages more often than ever. On LS alone its here constantly. People get turned off quickly when they have options. Its a "me me me" society, and people are doing anything and everything to ensure their own happiness no matter who they stomp on along the way, because you only live once. They see how miserable their parents were, and they work on not being that way. Problem is, they get skewed and sensitive on what the dealbreakers are, and when they have other options, they dont want to work on the relationship. I still stand by my original statement. As far as dating, The internet only makes the cowards, more cowardly. Whoever was too chicken to approach people before, and confront problems, are even more inept because getting rejected on the net is minimal on the ego, and people learn to avoid that. Its a f*ckin shame is what it is. i don't disagree that there are a lot of divorces. but not EVERYONE gets married these days like they did in generations past. my grandmother told me that's specifically why she married my grandfather. she was 29, her mother told her if she got to 30 she'd be alone forever. that notion of people being required to marry young is over.
january2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Technology is both a help and a hindrance. Help Increases size of dating pool for singlesMore communication channels to increase contact and maintain relationships, especially in LDRsIncreased access to pornography - might help some couples to reignite their sex lifeRelationship and dating resouces - sites like LS supporting people with their relationship and dating woes to help them to become more successfulHeartbreak - increases the size of the support network for those going through heartbreak, knowledge that they are not alone Hindrance Allows people to reconnect with old flames and meet new ones thereby increasing the resources for cheating leading to an increased chance of divorce and breakupMore opportunities for miscommunication, e.g., text messagingIncreased access to pornography - some people might spend more time on these sites and not working on their relationshipRelationship and dating resouces - poor advice from self-styled experts can lead to people not taking ownership of their relationship and dating decisionsHeartbreak - can lead to people getting 'stuck' if they become addicted to the breakup site and are immersed in the negativity of heartbreak every day I'm sure people can think of more.
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