ConfusedGuy28 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I've been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks now and decided to "make it official" 2 days ago. We went out with some friends last night and had a bit to drink. We go back to my place and hop in bed.... After a little while it was time for her to return the favor and do a certain "job" - and she says "I only do that in a committed relationship" - yet we've been ****ing for 2 weeks and decided to only see each other. I was a little weirded out by her choice of words (not that she wouldn't) and just went to bed afterwards (didn't want to say anything stupid since I was a little buzzed). --------- It's confusing because she is definitely into me. Asks me tons of questions about my day, what i like, how work is going, etc - everything, and she remembers everything I say too. She's a little upset because I'm leaving in a couple of months and she doesn't want to get attached to me (but she kind of already is).
Pierre Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 and she says "I only do that in a committed relationship" - yet we've been ****ing for 2 weeks and decided to only see each other. Was that seeing each other for two weeks or f****ing each other for two weeks? If it is the latter I guess she wants to show you she is not that easy. If she gave you oral sex you may think she is easy because she has only known you for two weeks.
burningstar Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Committed - Love i usually involved and you only sleep with your partner. It's a deep relationship two people enter. Friends with benefits - No strings attached. Love isn't involved and you can't get jealous if your friends sleeps around on you. It's just sex with out the relationship baggage.
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 Was that seeing each other for two weeks or f****ing each other for two weeks? If it is the latter I guess she wants to show you she is not that easy. If she gave you oral sex you may think she is easy because she has only known you for two weeks. So giving head would mean your easy....but ****ing, that's nothing?
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 Committed - Love i usually involved and you only sleep with your partner. It's a deep relationship two people enter. Friends with benefits - No strings attached. Love isn't involved and you can't get jealous if your friends sleeps around on you. It's just sex with out the relationship baggage. It's not FWB, but the relationship has a finite period because I'm moving away. We agreed after a few days that we wouldn't be sleeping with other people. A couple days ago we agreed to start a relationship. It was just a weird vibe I got. Like "I can't give you head, because I'm giving someone else head....but I'm only ****ing you"
oaks Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 But.. but.. why are so many women redistributing bjs in nightclubs like dust from the stars if bjs make a woman easy? Maybe those women are easy? Or they don't have a hangup about it making them easy. Tell me again, which night club?
whichwayisup Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Many women look at oral sex, or at least giving it, differently than men. It's one thing to fool around, even have sex, it's another to just go suck a guys cock. It's personal and she just may not feel comfortable giving you head. It's now your choice to be pissed off about it or get over it. You can not force her to give you head.
LittleTiger Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 So giving head would mean your easy....but ****ing, that's nothing? I think he was being sarcastic!
Pierre Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 So giving head would mean your easy....but ****ing, that's nothing? Ever heard the term "honor among thieves". Most people like to think they are morally upright about something. In her case is giving BJs to strangers is a no no.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I get it. In a way, performing oral unprotected is more intimate than having intercourse with a condom. You are exposing yourself to STD risk more when performing oral than when having intercourse with a condom. During the couple of one-night stands I've had, I had intercourse with a condom, but would NEVER perform oral sex on a guy I didn't know was clean.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 If she knows you are moving away, she prolly doesnt want to get any more attached to you, and BJ's might be that connection for her. So get used to it, she might not go any further. I suggest you dont do it to her either.
Pierre Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I get it. In a way, performing oral unprotected is more intimate than having intercourse with a condom. You are exposing yourself to STD risk more when performing oral than when having intercourse with a condom. During the couple of one-night stands I've had, I had intercourse with a condom, but would NEVER perform oral sex on a guy I didn't know was clean. As I said above: Everybody has some sort of honor code they follow. And this is simply part of the human condition. Ruby: You said: but would NEVER perform oral sex on a guy I didn't know was clean But. f****ing the man you don't know is OK???:sick: I know sex is sex, but it just sounds a bit silly. Do you agree?
Hot Chick Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Maybe she just doesn't like giving BJs.....and as the relationship has a solid expiration date (when you move away), it's not going to become a "committed" relationship, so it is not worth it to her to do something she doesn't like to a guy which she has no chance of being in a committed, longterm relationship with. If a BJ is that important to you, then you probably should stop seeing her and start seeing a woman who will give you one. If getting the BJ is not a dealbreaker for you, then enjoy the rest of the time you have with her.
FitChick Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I thought kids used oral sex as a substitute for intercourse because that way it's not real sex (a la Bill Clinton). Do both or do none as far as I am concerned.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 But. f****ing the man you don't know is OK???:sick: I know sex is sex, but it just sounds a bit silly. Do you agree? Well, we're getting off the thread topic a little here. I've only done a couple of one-nighters to see what it was like. Sexy and fun, but nowhere near as good as sex with someone you know better. And yes, I felt much safer having intercourse with a condom than performing oral without one. I know you can use flavored condoms for oral, but that doesn't appeal to me much. For me, having sex with a guy wearing a condom is not a huge step down from the feeling of sex without a condom. But this is just one of the differences between intercourse and oral. I'm saying that I can see why some people would have different levels of comfort with them.
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 (edited) Saving the lecture.....we've ****ed sans condoms. Also - we know each other through mutual friends. Edit: the other thing being - she won't let me come to her place. She said it's because her place is small and my place is bigger....but she wouldn't let me come over the first night (and she had no idea what my place looked like). I tell her that, and she's like "well, I don't like bringing guys over to my place. maybe one day you can see it, but few ever get to..." WTF? Edited October 9, 2011 by ConfusedGuy28
zengirl Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Sleeping with someone = mutual enjoyment, generally speaking. Oral sex = while sexy to do in a way, generally a relatively selfless act. I can see the difference. If the affair has an expiration date, I can see why she might feel that way, since she's not going to get emotionally invested in you.
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 Thought I'd repost in here instead of starting a new thread.... A couple of days ago she went home for a wedding. The night before she said "give me a week and I'll be ready to do it for you." Then she was like "that probably sounded weird...." And it did. going home for a wedding....and when she comes back....she'll be ready to give me a BJ? hmmmm.....?
Duckduckgoose Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 If I heard "I only do that in a committed relationship" I would think they were either a challenge, not interested, or not a whore. But if ya'll are "exclusive" I don't see why she won't suck your dick. I mean, it's not that big a deal. Unless you have the herps or something But if she's on the fence about the whole thing, maybe try going down on her... show her you're willing to "return the favor".
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