mike588 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Did your now ex. get all emotional when they Dumped you? Something I remember is when she told me face to face that it was over was that she showed so little emotion about it. I was upset and cried alittle,, she came across as being so sad about it,guilt for her desision and for telling/hurting me but no tears,, None! That kinda bothered me,, made me feel like she never loved or cared for me by coming across that way. What about yours??
broken-and-lost Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 my ex cried a lot even 5-6 months later she still cried about it but she was also very angry too all the things she had bottled up came out got the blame for everything. Trust me it felt no better knowing deep down she didn't want to end it but felt she had reached the point and this is her words love you just isn't enough to stay together. She was very upset then cold......... won't even talk to me know
Author mike588 Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 my ex cried a lot even 5-6 months later she still cried about it but she was also very angry too all the things she had bottled up came out got the blame for everything. Trust me it felt no better knowing deep down she didn't want to end it but felt she had reached the point and this is her words love you just isn't enough to stay together. She was very upset then cold......... won't even talk to me know Mine showed no anger,,, I gave her nothing to be angry about,, I gave her so much love and compasion. Maybe that's why it bothered me?
broken-and-lost Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I guess it depends on the type of break up you either have the person doesn't love you type, or you love each other but way too many emotional draining things going on which just break you regardless or wether you have the connection. It all hurts no matter what the reasons, i'm guess the fact you loved her supported her then she showed no emotion like you meant nothing means it really hurts no one likes to feel like they meant nothing to the person they had hopes and dreams with. it might have been as simple as her coping with it by showing no emotion in front of you? You'll really never know now and which ever way it happened it would still hurt just as much
silly_panda Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Mine ended it with an email... So I can't really know if she is emotional or not... But I now figured that she already had a guy on stand by before she pulls the trigger... So I guess she will not be sad and all... I assume that she feels glad for getting rid of me and I assume that she is happy with the new guy now...
ken_25 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Mine broke down and cried after she admitted everything.
ffw Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Mine ended it with an email... So I can't really know if she is emotional or not... But I now figured that she already had a guy on stand by before she pulls the trigger... So I guess she will not be sad and all... I assume that she feels glad for getting rid of me and I assume that she is happy with the new guy now... My story is smiliar to Silly Panda. However, I knew from her words that she was very angry & upset because she had to end a long term relationship.
Graceful Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Did your now ex. get all emotional when they Dumped you? Something I remember is when she told me face to face that it was over was that she showed so little emotion about it. I was upset and cried alittle,, she came across as being so sad about it,guilt for her desision and for telling/hurting me but no tears,, None! That kinda bothered me,, made me feel like she never loved or cared for me by coming across that way. What about yours?? You wanted your ex to behave the way *YOU* behave, to feel badly, to cry, to show emotion. You have to accept that she owns her behavior, not you, and see her for who she is, displayed by her own set of behaviors. What difference does crying make? My ex cried -- crocodile tears. Looking back, it was so fake. And what difference does it make in the long run anyhow? You're dumped. If she doesn't show emotion, then it's more closure for you to see her for who she is, and that you're not right for one another. Quite honestly, I think it's a lot better when the dumper is cold. That way there is no confusion. It's cruel and selfish for the dumper to go on and on as to how badly they feel -- doesn't change a thing -- and can keep the dumpee feeling like there is hope. My ex felt badly ... that he got caught, since he cheated. He didn't feel bad about much else. He felt bad that his image with me was ruined and that he looked bad. That's all he felt bad about. So he cried, but not for hurting me or for remorse. Looking back, I laugh about it. And it's great to be able to do that, believe me. Worry about yourself, not a bunch of meaningless tears that she could have (but didn't) cry. And if she did cry alone -- then good for her. Still doesn't change anything. Don't judge someone else for your own set of values. See them for who they are and how they treated you. That's on them, not you. Take care.
PositiveNegative Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Yup, she cried a lot. We met four times after her initial decision to break up. Probably 3/4 of all my tissues in my tissue box were used up for those meetings. We last talked on the phone a week ago, she still cried. Get this, in my very initial confusion and begging she looked at me and said this: "How do you know I won't be doing the same someday?" I said "When would you ever beg for me?" she said "I dunno, 1 month, 1 year from now? How do you know I won't?". Simply put, I don't know. I'd be very surprised if she ever did.
TheDovic Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Yes, she cried for days and has cried EVERY single time she has seen me since the break up!
TheDovic Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Yup, she cried a lot. We met four times after her initial decision to break up. Probably 3/4 of all my tissues in my tissue box were used up for those meetings. We last talked on the phone a week ago, she still cried. Get this, in my very initial confusion and begging she looked at me and said this: "How do you know I won't be doing the same someday?" I said "When would you ever beg for me?" she said "I dunno, 1 month, 1 year from now? How do you know I won't?". Simply put, I don't know. I'd be very surprised if she ever did. That last question she asked is a GIGS line if I've ever heard one!!!
PositiveNegative Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 My ex is a platinum member of the GIGS club.
Author mike588 Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 Yes, she cried for days and has cried EVERY single time she has seen me since the break up! I would of felt better if she cried,, it would of shown that I meant something to her. Lucky you.
M2155 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Non-issue for me. Mine didn't even have the balls to break up with me so I assume felt guilty and like Grace said, he knows I have a lack of respect for him now and too cowardly to face that. I am sure because of this ego, I will not hear from him again (but he'd probably answer if I called). Plus he was happily involved with someone and took his time moving on before I was aware of this so I doubt it was emotional, probably relieving for him. I would rather him have confronted me but now looking back it would have been awkward and made no difference anyway.
Kamila Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 We broke up in several steps: First we had an argument on the phone, I challenged him to decide what to do about 'us'. And we argued more. Some words were said that were very hurtful and we had no contact for 4 days. He was the first to initiate contact after 4 days and suggested to meet. I refused, I was still very angry about what he said before. I know I should have meet up with him, but I didn't trust him anymore. A week later I asked him to meet me, but this time he refused, guess he was punishing me for not accepting his previous invitation. Ugly situation it was. A day later I phoned him to ask him, well I more cried and pleaded him to meet me. He accepted (phew). At the meeting we were behaving very awkwardly, it was so weird. He started to talk about him having doubts about us for over a year, him meeting a girl after we argued. It was someone he meet on FB that he kept on a distance because he was dating me at the time. I started crying in front of him because he was practically saying we were 'over'. After a few hours I dried my tears and we parted, that's were I saw him crying. But i didn't comfort him, i just left ...
Rimer Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 She didn't cry at all. That felt bad. It felt like didn't I mean anything to you? But now a month later looking at it I know she's such a strong woman she won't show her emotions which really sucks because i'm very emotional for a guy. I still don't know has she shed a single tear for me
TheDovic Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I would of felt better if she cried,, it would of shown that I meant something to her. Lucky you. Of course you meant something to her Mike. She's just better at hiding it than my ex is!
D-Lish Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 He was teary eyed the whole time- I could see the guilt in his eyes. When we met 5 months later, he was really emotional. We discussed what a reconciliation would look like, but both realized we aren't compatible.
Surfer Girl Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I felt the distance and acknowledged it... He felt we needed some space...to rekindle how he felt... We were both under the impression it would only be temporary... He asked for a hug... I told him... It is not like I never want to see you again... What I thought was temporary turned out to be permanent... Had we known at the time it might have been much more emotional...
The_Good_Me Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 I would of felt better if she cried,, it would of shown that I meant something to her. Lucky you. Trust me, when they cry, show emotion and "show that you meant something to them" it doesn't make it any easier. It comes with it's own demon! On my last meeting with my ex she cried several times, hugged me a lot, held my hand while we were talking etc. I drove her to her mums just to be able to spend another 10 minutes with her and when we got there she cried again, hugged me, kissed my cheek and said "This is too hard!". She then forced herself out the car and said "I love you!". She blew me a kiss, cried more, walked to the house, turned and mouthed "I love you!" again, blew another kiss and cried the rest of the walk to her mums house. Imagine how that plays on your mind afterwards! I was screaming inside "If you feel this way, why are you giving up on us? what isn't fixable? snap out of it!!!". It really held me back at moving on with my life as it gave me bags of false hope! I think we'll always be upset with the way our dumpers dump us. I'm not happy with the false hope she gave me and I know if she showed no emotion, yeah it might have been easier on the false hope front, but I would be thinking the same as you now. Just know that them showing emotion doesn't make it any easier, it's just a different kind of hurt.
Author mike588 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 She did try to hug me after I got upset but I just said no,,,no, don't! When I left her place with my stuff shortly afterwards I did notice she was laying down in her bed like she was absorbing it all or the reality set in. I just said goodbye and haven't seen her since.
The_Good_Me Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 She did try to hug me after I got upset but I just said no,,,no, don't! When I left her place with my stuff shortly afterwards I did notice she was laying down in her bed like she was absorbing it all or the reality set in. I just said goodbye and haven't seen her since. I haven't seen or heard from my ex since either. We broke up in April after 10 years together. Sometimes I wish she'd get in touch, other times I'm glad she hasn't. If she does get in touch, it won't be for reconciliation and that's all I want to hear from her. In one way we're lucky mate. I see a lot of people on here upset and having set backs from the continued contact from ex's and the frustration it brings when nothing comes of it. Even though we kinda want it, we are in fact better off without it regardless of it being quite a harsh reality. We crave the attention when we don't get it and we'd resent the contact with no intent of getting back together if we got it. We can't win when we're still emotionally attached.
Sugarkane Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 My ex dumped me by text, out if the blue after a year. Naturally I was shocked and upset. He called me crazy. He then blamed me got everything and completely insulted me. With a list of my faults. I'm sure he had someone else. I told him I hope someone does exactly the dame thing one day up him. Hopefully someone will screw the prick over. I wouldn't get back together even if he paid me.
Author mike588 Posted October 9, 2011 Author Posted October 9, 2011 I haven't seen or heard from my ex since either. We broke up in April after 10 years together. Sometimes I wish she'd get in touch, other times I'm glad she hasn't. If she does get in touch, it won't be for reconciliation and that's all I want to hear from her. In one way we're lucky mate. I see a lot of people on here upset and having set backs from the continued contact from ex's and the frustration it brings when nothing comes of it. Even though we kinda want it, we are in fact better off without it regardless of it being quite a harsh reality. We crave the attention when we don't get it and we'd resent the contact with no intent of getting back together if we got it. We can't win when we're still emotionally attached. I know what you mean. As time goes on the only reason I want her to try to come back is the satisfaction of telling her NO,, Somehow that will bring so much peace to me and justify all the pain I went thru.
antz2411 Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 You wanted your ex to behave the way *YOU* behave, to feel badly, to cry, to show emotion. You have to accept that she owns her behavior, not you, and see her for who she is, displayed by her own set of behaviors. What difference does crying make? My ex cried -- crocodile tears. Looking back, it was so fake. And what difference does it make in the long run anyhow? You're dumped. If she doesn't show emotion, then it's more closure for you to see her for who she is, and that you're not right for one another. Quite honestly, I think it's a lot better when the dumper is cold. That way there is no confusion. It's cruel and selfish for the dumper to go on and on as to how badly they feel -- doesn't change a thing -- and can keep the dumpee feeling like there is hope. My ex felt badly ... that he got caught, since he cheated. He didn't feel bad about much else. He felt bad that his image with me was ruined and that he looked bad. That's all he felt bad about. So he cried, but not for hurting me or for remorse. Looking back, I laugh about it. And it's great to be able to do that, believe me. Worry about yourself, not a bunch of meaningless tears that she could have (but didn't) cry. And if she did cry alone -- then good for her. Still doesn't change anything. Don't judge someone else for your own set of values. See them for who they are and how they treated you. That's on them, not you. Take care. good advice! people in here really need to get this concept in there head; to not worry about anyone but themselves then they would know how life could be much easier to deal with.
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