Tailor2000 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I am insecure. That's the easy way of looking at things and could potentially damage any future relationships because of my problems. I must admit that I didn't think I was insecure. Have a great single life and can keep myself happy. Friends enhance that. So is there another way of looking at things? My fiancée keeps telling me I'm insecure, but she is very selfish, can barely put me first, talks about the importance of her friends continually and how they will always be there, can barely make time for us, not bothered about time away, seems to enjoy time with me but isn't bothered about spending time with me, retreats into her own world so much that the only person that matters is her, we hardly spend any time alone, most time is with her parents, changes our plans on a whim, not receptive to me taking her own for a meal but happy to go out with other couples. She doesn't have a problem going out alone though either with another couple or another female friend. Seems not to trust me and prefers going to her friends and family for support and feels more comfortable stopping at her friends than mine. Has been caught out on several lies, and if not lies, certainly very clumsy and I'll thought out explanations. Highly disrespectful, always late, she always barges through the door first not even allowing me to be a gentleman, rarely puts her hand in her pocket, doesn't seem to consider my feelings. Feels like she is interested in me one minute then gives me excuses about why I shouldn't meet her and how I should do xyz instead while she then plans her own things to do without me. Cannot discuss an issue without her sulking for several weeks and barely talking to me, she thinks issues should be repressed and issues are from the devil and enough praying will resolve everything. She can barely make time to text me back. Every text message is forced, its not a case that I expected her to text at work, but I wanted her to text if she had a break... morning, evening, lunch, whatever, and not leave me waiting and not come up with excuses like she was busy, immediately before she showed me the games she was playing on Facebook. I felt even Facebook came first. She was no good with texts. But when she was with me, her phone would be next to her all the time and she would always text her friends back. When with friends, she would always leave me waiting. Well, as far as I know, we're not together anymore. She dumped me on Facebook. Even if I'm wrong on everything else, the dumping on Facebook is one thing in another long list of issues that she can't blame my interpretation on, like her selfishness, her telling people I'm manipulative and jealous, and that I need to see a therapist to deal with my unreasonable behaviour because selfishness and looking out for number one is normal. Thoughts?
Tayla Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 your finacee dumped you on Facebook? What is this world coming too!!! Seriously now, what would you say to a good friend when they wrote as you have in reference to the difference of opinion on your former loved one? Not very loving when all is said and done. After reading your other posts I get the distinct impression this departure from the relationship is a blessing...for both of you.
Author Tailor2000 Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 Im quite interested to see if I could have done anything different, of if the relationship was doomed to fail from the beginning. Am I insecure? Was I guilty of emotionally abusive behaviour, too demanding? Or was I just reacting to the overwhelming feeling like she just couldn't be bothered? It's a good question, and Im happy to look in myself to see if there was something. I suspect that I might not have these kind of problems with someone who showed a similar level of reciprocation, someone who didn't cling to her parents, and someone who had the same basic manners as me. I see you say it's a blessing for us both... do you think I could have done something differently?
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