Buttercup84 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Was having an ok weekend until I was relaxing and some things triggered some nice memories I had of my ex . Our honey moon phase . Just hate it will go and study now so I don't do anything stupid .
Fleabitten Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I know how you feel. Think of what a prick this guy has been to you instead of how good things were in the beginning. Don't contact him, post here more instead. Hugs.
mike588 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I know how you feel. Think of what a prick this guy has been to you instead of how good things were in the beginning. Don't contact him, post here more instead. Hugs. Happens to me to many times. Those rainy weekend mornings like this morning are really tough,,, we used to just lay in bed snuggeling, sex, talking, listening to the rain, thunder. Ohhhhhh how I miss that!
betterdeal Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Create some new memories to savour. Flirt with someone.
TheDovic Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Good idea with the studying. I woke up this morning and felt horrible and really wanted to call her but instead I distracted myself. Now a few hours later I'm feeling a lot better so maybe you will too
RenoColt Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 That intimacy you shared with her was the context, but you still have that natural yearning for intimacy. You're remembering that past context in which you expressed that need, even though the context is gone. You can have that again because it's a part of you, not dependent on her being there. I have to keep reminding myself I'm not so much missing the guy who treated me badly as I am missing a context in which to express that part of me. Maybe that helps to realize I can find that elsewhere – it wasn't something I could only have with him... or in your case, her. I even found myself making up false memories... Sunday night alone thinking, "Oh, wouldn't be nice just to be able to have dinner with him tonight and spend some time together at the end of the weekend just like we..." Then I would catch myself and remember the reality of our relationship: He never wanted to see me on Sunday nights. Even after I told him that was one of the lonelier nights of the week for me, he would never even bestir himself to call. I wonder if it's like when someone dies and we both erase all the bad things, remembering only the good, but also create this mythology that elevates them to a saint. Probably better to remember they were human like we are.
betterdeal Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I do think it helped me to reminisce about all the good and bad times for a few months. To process them, to put them in context, to let the feelings I had suppressed about them out. At the same time, I started creating new memories, doing new things to remember.
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