I'm furhter removed emotionally... but the flame for him isn't totally out

[DontWorryBHappy]

My break up was back in April, and I'm much further removed (emotionally) from the situation now. It took me a good 4 months to truly start feeling better. So tonight I was bored at work (it was completely dead) and I texted my ex. We became on speaking terms a few weeks prior because I met up with him for a milkshake and we just talked about normal stuff and caught up with our lives... nothing about the past. So I asked if he wanted to hang out tonight, and he drove over to where I worked. When my shift finished we spent a couple hours talking and stuff. I brought up the past a little bit just because I felt like I wanted to acknowledge it, but I still kept it light.

 

I guess while we were hanging out I kind of realized that I still have some feelings. I used to have a flame for this guy that burned so intensely, nothing could put it out or even weaken it. But this is definitely a smaller flame... it's burning, but it flickers in and out and doesn't burn as brightly. But it's there, catch my drift? I noticed that I started wanting to be close to him, and we did the whole "long hug" things before leaving. And I felt this weird attachment at the end of hanging out, almost like an odd neediness. And wanted to spend more time with him... then felt sort of emotional when I got home.

 

I guess I'm nervous that I'll run with these feelings and end up doing something stupid like go for a kiss. Anyone have experience hanging out with an ex after you're further removed from the situation (but not completely removed)?

[RockGuy87]

I hung out with an ex once. Big mistake in that case. I guess it was just for her to feel less guilty about what she did.

 

But why did you guys break up. Who did it? Good job on 4 months but is it worth the risk? Is it worth maybe starting over at 0? Maybe distance yourself now since you reached out first and wait until he reaches out to you. Let him try to move in for something or wanna say something. That way you avoid looking and feeling bad for going for something thats not.

 

Just dont fall into hanging out as friends, especially if there still is a flicker. Just be careful and take things really slowly and maybe that will help you figure things out.

[mickleb]

The guide to No Contact is the first link in my signature, DW.

 

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