laotzu Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 No, they do not have it more difficult - and particularly, they do not have it more difficult than unattractive girls. It's a ridiculous question, like asking whether wealthy people have to deal with more complex tax issues. Well yes - of course. But they're wealthy. Sure, good looking girls might have problems specific to being attractive, but relatively speaking, they're infinitely better off than the overweight girl who no one (or few people) have ever paid attention to. So no: good looking girls do not have it harder. The answer is contained within the subject.
Kinder-Horror Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 yea, that makes sense. I used to feel that way, which is why I used to want them to approach. I have found that after they've been given the green light and I know they see it, it's time for them to show their interest. Giving the green light by no means says that you have to take all of the initiative from there, and I still require a guy to put in the work and to show me very clearly that he likes me (or he won't keep my interest for long lol) Oh, I totally agree with you. You approach guys the same way I do (or I suppose, did)... When I say a girl wants a guy to take charge... I just mean it is a team effort. You are saying "give the green light." Giving the green light isn't necessarily asking a guy out (but it can mean that too), but to me it is more putting him in a position to know you are interested... starting a conversation, making a joke, asking him about himself... doing SOMETHING to let him know that you are somewhat interested so it removes his fear of rejection. But she shouldn't have to do everything. He should recognize the green light and proceed accordingly (if he is interested). If a girl can't meet a guy half way, she doesn't deserve to be asked out anyway
MaxNoob Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Yes, unattractive girls have it the hardest. Above average girls have it the easiest. But really good looking girls do have it hard. I have lost count of the times friends have told me they just don’t have the courage to ask a pretty girl out, and I used to be like that too. I once lent a book to the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life. Such a small gesture that would help her with an assignment, and yet it brought a huge smile to her face. It was her making a big deal out of it that made me fall in love with her. She was very kind and full of life. And yet I went through all the typical thoughts: I have no chance with her, there’s no chance she’s single, she must have hundreds of guys hitting on her, yet another guy hitting on her would just annoy her. 2 months later, I finally asked her out, and again with a huge smile she said yes. I literally could not believe it; I thought it was just a cruel joke she was playing on me. I didn’t even talk to her the next day. To my utter amazement, she walked out of the class with her head down and a look of absolute sorrow. What? Pretty girls are actually mere mortals just like us? When I went after her to apologize, she immediately cheered up again. I finally wrapped my head around the concept that I could actually matter to her, and that an extremely pretty girl can appreciate being asked out. It's actually a rare occurrence when it's done in a kind and respectful manner.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 The thing is, most pretty girls don't want to be told they're pretty/hot/whatever. They know that already. They want to be treated like they're beautiful, however. And when someone has insecurity issues, they can't treat a woman like the beauty she is.
veggirl Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 An average woman is approached or a least looked at, persistently, several times a day. A cute woman has her cellphone flooded with text messages from guys who want to hook-up. Very good-looking women are approached 24/7, looked at as if they were meat, and can't go anywhere without every guy wanting to ''befriend'' them. And bro, I have seen gay men(honest to god gay men) being groped and sexually harassed by their female friends of long-ago, many even had sex with the gay friends because they were horny and didn't want to meet new guys/risk stds. Aren't you a male? How the fk would you even "know" any of this? Dudes on LS ridiculously exaggerate the attention ALL women get. You act like women can't go into public without being harassed. Does it happen, yeah; on this scale? No. (you can call me ugly now if you'd like. I'm not). OP I think the more attractive a person is (male or female), the easier it is for them in general. Your example is just one example and doesn't really prove much other than the guy made a lot of assumptions and was shy.
veggirl Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 How do I know this? easy. I talk to women. I look at women. I fck women. I'm a man, indeed. My genitals stop me from knowing that women bleed every month for 7 days? Most young boys know this. One doesn't need to be a sherlock to know that many millions of men are texting women, asking women out, approaching women and looking at women because they want to fck them. It's common-sense. men are either trying to get laid, or they're watching porn, but no, men aren't staying away from most women and most women have guys usually interested on them, at leas int fkcing them. This planet somehow managed to be filled by 6 billions, so if you aren't the center of male attention, it is not women who aren't usually the focus of male-attention; it is you who isn't it. I'm not going to call you ugly. Why would I? I have seen very ugly/obese women dating tall/fit/good-looking men. Jesus Christ. Now that you made me think about it; if ugly/average women are always in demand, then Angelina Jolie looks must offer free passage to anything. Now that's new to me. There are posts on here fairly often from women who complain no men talk to them, that they get no attention. You exaggerate a LOT in your claims here. Sure plenty of men are approaching women, but you act like we can't go to the grocery store or Starbucks without someone running up to ask our #s or crashing their car to catch a glimpse. I disagree that ugly women are in demand. I have an overweight (although actually kinda cute) close friend, 25 and a virgin. Can't get a man, period. Of course those of us who are better looking get more attention but as the OP pointed out, there are lots of guys who are too shy to approach women. And I would HOPE the MANY men who are in relationships aren't running up to random women, So I don't think the pool of men who race over to get the # of every human with a vagina is as large as you make it out to be.
chrissylee Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Hot women have it 1000 times easier then non hot women. They have an advantage in anything they want in life because how they look.
udolipixie Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 (edited) Good looking girls have it harder? Not in the way you described based on my observations, Most good looking girls I know have trouble finding an attractive decent/nice guy. A few go with ugly/average guys thinking he'll treat me better and he's a decent guy not realizing this "decent" guy isn't that decent because he values her beauty just as much as any other guy. In fact even a bit more so seeing as how most ugly/average guys fantasize about having a hot girl, desire to judge based on looks but want to be judged on his character, and sometimes valued beauty so much that he doesn't even talk to a girl. I say the ones I know because I don't have trouble finding a decent guy whose equally attractive. I'm just wondering if this happens a lot to good looking women, who are looking for a serious relationship Yes though it's not a problem exclusive or that happens more frequently to attractive girls vs ugly/average girls. Agree or disagree? Agree however I disagree if you're trying to give the impress that not having decent/nice guys approach is more common with attractive women. Have you noticed this happening around you? Sort of I know plenty of ugly/average decent guys that are interested in me but thankfully are too shy to approach me. However I don't have a lack of attractive decent/nice guys who are relationship material approaching me. Do you know any pretty girls who get approached a lot but never by decent/nice guys?Yes though that's because it's not just a pretty girl problem. The pretty girl problem is that even the decent/nice guys are placing more valuing on her looks than her personality and usually they're the guys who want to judge girls on looks but be judged on their personality. I think this is more of a male myth to make ugly/average guys feel more confident in approaching girls they seen as beautiful because hey she'll like me because she doesn't get approached by too many decent guys. It's the ideal situation for most guys they get to judge on looks and get a beautiful girl who just judges him on his decency. guys who are 'relationship material'? Yes though once again that's because it's not a pretty girl problem. In fact pretty girls well the mentally stable and secure ones don't have a problem getting relationship material guys and have a much easier time getting a relationship than the mentally stable/secure ugly/average girls. Do you know any good looking women who are single for a long time because of this? Yes I also know ugly/average women who are single for a long time because of this. Edited October 8, 2011 by udolipixie
Leegh Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 The average looking girls (not beautiful, but not ugly), have a far, far, easier time getting dates than a beautiful girl; as most men are simply to fearful to approach a beautiful girl. That is why a lot of beautiful women are sitting home alone on Saturday nights. Of course, if a man is a celebrity, famous, or very wealthly, those men know that they will probably not be turned down by a beautiful woman, so they will approach a beautiful women. Womanizers and jerks also tend to approach beautiful women. Average-looking women tend to get the best men in most cases. Off the subject a little, this is one of the reasons I am personally against plastic surgery, as in general it won't get a woman any more dates.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Noone has a free pass in life. I've learned that those who are far outside the 'norm' (either in looks, brains, money) have unexpected challenges in life that those who are more 'average' wouldn't understand. ... and I'm talking about people who are on either end of the spectrum.. either lacking or far exceeding the 'norm'.
grkBoy Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I think beautiful women can attract the worst kind of superfical men, so it can be a mixed blessing. I agree. I think many "average" and even "ugly" women who want a solid RL will have more chance of the men who approach wanting that too...while the "hot" women I've known many get a lot of guys who simply want to get laid, and worse will lie about their intentions to get there. I'm not trying to make a pity party for hot women, since we've all known some who are simply shallow/superficial/snobby, but I also feel they don't have it easier in life just because they have loads of men chasing.
iris219 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Unfortunately, many very attractive men don’t want relationships (because they don’t have to be in one to get laid) and these are the often the ones approaching very attractive women. A partial pro to being attractive is that an attractive woman can pick a guy, pursue him, and probably get him, but many don't want to do this. I want to be pursued, so that I feel worth the effort. My ex told me when we first met he couldn’t figure out why I kept talking to him. When I asked if we should exchange numbers (I asked, not him), he said, “Why?” He said he was confused as to why I seemed so interested in him. My ex before him told me he almost cancelled the first few dates we went on because he was so nervous he was throwing up before the dates. I made a lot of the first moves with him too. Some men feel uncomfortable and like they’re not good enough around very attractive women. They don’t feel as much pressure to impress average women. Men perceive dating a very attractive woman as hard work that might not be worth the payoff, so they go for a safer, surer bet (a less attractive woman). When men start stereotyping attractive women as cold, vapid b-tches, they do so as a defense mechanism. They tell themselves she’s probably horrible and no fun, so why would they want her? Maybe it makes some feel better about not having the nerve to approach attractive women. FTR, many hot women don’t have loads of men chasing them. The more attractive a woman is, the less likely she is to keep guys she doesn’t like around for attention because she is less likely to get a self esteem boost from male attention. I hear guys on here talking about how all women, especailly attractive ones, have a legion of men they throw breadcrumbs to every now and then, and it's simply not true.
mesmerized Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 (edited) I get looked at a loot, but approached? Very very rarely...ALL of my friends are in the same boat and they are all above average. Guys here that say attractive women are approached 24/7 are nuts, that simply IS NOT true. At least not in the part of the world that I'm living in...Most guys here are either gay or afraid to approach. They just look and that's it. The only place that they have the balls to talk to us is on online dating websites or at bars when they are really drunk, lol. Edited October 8, 2011 by mesmerized
ShannonMI Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 And this also goes to show how far we've regressed as social beings...it seems people are becoming conditioned to only interact with those they want to sleep with...and likewise, people also assume that anyone who talks to them does so only because they want to sleep with them. Truly unfortunate. I wouldn't have dated any of the women I met last night, yet I still wanted to talk about a common interest. That was all. The attractive ones APPEAR to have a chip on their shoulder and put up "defenses" because they believe anyone who talks to them is trying to get them into bed. So people only talk to each other w/ the sole purpose of having sex?
grkBoy Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I get looked at a loot, but approached? Very very rarely...ALL of my friends are in the same boat and they are all above average. Guys here that say attractive women are approached 24/7 are nuts, that simply IS NOT true. At least not in the part of the world that I'm living in...Most guys here are either gay or afraid to approach. They just look and that's it. The only place that they have the balls to talk to us is on online dating websites or at bars when they are really drunk, lol. I agree, and when I first heard that, it's when I just took more chances. The problem I usually hit is many of the "hot girls" I tried talking to either were looking for someone "better" than me, or they have been lied to so many times that they just don't trust men in general. They don't really know if I'm sincere or just looking to trick her into bed...not to mention again I think I wasn't "worth it" enough in their eyes to take a chance on. I will also toss out how many hot girls I've encountered who are royally insecure and cling to fantasies that usually end up getting them manipulated by playas. I can't fault a woman who gets tricked once, but fault her when she decides to make said playa her "project"...the "I will make him commit" goals that usually backfire. I'll also toss out there how many hot women and average women travel in packs that generally seem to "close themselves up" to outsiders approaching. Maybe they're out for the night and don't want men coming on to them, but too many others hide themselves in ways that make normal people think they don't have a shot. In my travels, I've gotten many places just when I see the opening and start the conversation. This is sort of a "be aware if you're looking"...thus when you go out with the gal pals to leave guys the opening so they can take the risk.
Johnny85 Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Nope, not at all - And I hear quite a lot about the story you described about your friend. I think it is relatively common for average/slightly above average guys to date nice looking girls. My ex was extremely beautiful and I am perhaps slightly above average in the looks department. Once again, she was the one who took the initiative. She would always get hit on by guys who commented on her looks (which she would complain about). Sorry, I have no sympathy for women who complain about how being hot sucks. lol
Els Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Probably pretty balanced IMO. Good-looking women, more so than good-looking men, do often have a larger pool of people interested in them. That is a fact. However, more than half of those people are probably interested in them just because of their appearance. And sometimes they don't find that out until they're pregnant and 20 lbs heavier, and by then it is sometimes 5 years too late. Pros and cons, I guess.
burningstar Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I think, women that having good looking will be interesting on you if you make a good bond. They always looking for you. Just show her the perfect you are.
ShannonMI Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I think, women that having good looking will be interesting on you if you make a good bond. They always looking for you. Just show her the perfect you are. Your english is too cute:laugh:
AHardDaysNight Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 They probably have it harder, because they're more picky. And therefore, they only date the players, and end up getting hurt. The good guys, meanwhile, are left on the sidelines scratching their heads and looking up at God, asking "why?"
verhrzn Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Of course, the kicker to this story is that if the girl hadn't been beautiful, the nice/shy guy wouldn't have noticed her... So, actually, it was her beauty that won her the relationship (I'm sure her nice personality helped, but it seems he was drawn to her physically first and THEN discovered after she asked him out that she was more than a pretty face.) So, a girl's beauty may intimidate SOME guys, but it doesn't intimate enough to ensure she's single for long, and in fact, is the thing that draws a lot of guys to her. Long short short: ask any woman if she's rather be beautiful or average (while keeping her current personality), and the woman will say "beautiful" every time.
mesmerized Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 They probably have it harder, because they're more picky. And therefore, they only date the players, and end up getting hurt. The good guys, meanwhile, are left on the sidelines scratching their heads and looking up at God, asking "why?" A good unattractive guy is undesirable just like a good unattractive woman. No need to inquire god for that!
verhrzn Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 A good unattractive guy is undesirable just like a good unattractive woman. No need to inquire god for that! Difference is, a good unattractive man has a chance if he has something to make up for his physical looks... money, charisma, humor, what have you. Unattractive women? No such opportunity. The best an unattractive woman can do is be "confident" and maybe some guy will think she's "cute" and settle for her cause all of the good-looking women have rejected him. I'd choose being born an unattractive male with a good personality over an unattractive woman with a good personality any day.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I've been told I have a good personality, and yet I never get anywhere with the ladies.
Els Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 They probably have it harder, because they're more picky. And therefore, they only date the players, and end up getting hurt. The good guys, meanwhile, are left on the sidelines scratching their heads and looking up at God, asking "why?" Possibly true. The same could be said for many guys, however. On a side note, it's interesting how about 80% of the female respondents here have happily placed themselves on the 'good-looking' side. I guess it's important to be thought of as above-average even on an anonymous internet forum, huh?
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