goldengirl11 Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 I have had two bad dating/relationship experiences, firstly going back to my first proper boyfriend (14 yrs older than me) who I lost my virginity to about five years ago. Although he cheated on me in the early stages whilst I was waiting for the 'right time,' we later got back together when the sex was fine and had seen each other on and off for a couple of years, perhaps to do with him then wanting an open relationship since he was going through a divorce, but at the same time carried on sleeping with him in the hope that he'd change his mind! Inevitably I got hurt and he buggered off with a stunning girl from the Philippines with whom he got chatting to on-line whilst we were still seeing each other, when he quite abruptly stopped out 'relationship.' As for the second most recent experience, with a man friend - an old colleague from a few years back who got in touch with me out of the blue after he had finished his long term relationship - who I had dated on and off starting last Aug/Sept (he didn't see me that much - think he was waiting for my new double bed to arrive?!) just before he started his course at uni in London. Then the first time at Xmas when we had (attempted) penetrative sex was a bit difficult (the last meeting prior to that we didn't have any condoms, but the other intimate stuff was fine). We had a nice time otherwise and got on well etc and didn't see why it wouldn't continue. Although secretly wondered because he was at college if he could easily meet someone else, so when he was leaving that night (the last time I saw him), it was on the tip of my tongue to ask if we could possibly date exclusively. As far as I knew I was the only one and think I was because he seemed quite sincere, but didn't want to appear that I was forcing things along. He said we'd definitely see each other soon. Unfortunately he couldn't make NYE as he was driving back from visiting family earlier, which I was a bit miffed about but he assured me we'd see each other soon. Then me as a fool wasn't able to make the 2 or 3 times he'd offered to drive over - was right in the middle of moving and had a GCSE re-take class on those times, but said that we 'd meet in the next few days. When I asked him though he didn't seem keen to make it happen. Near Valentine's day I'd cheekily asked if we'd meet then when he'd said he was dating someone else now and shall we be friends. We then continued to text (although not as often) and at times he did lead me on, e.g suggesting that I tried inserting vegetables etc so we can try stuff when we experiment. Then in April he goes silent for 2 weeks when I text him to find he has a girlfriend now. Obviously I was very upset.:( It's fair to say that have felt that I've been put on the backburner since and have been (sadly) waiting for him to come back and certainly don't want this drama to happen in my next potential relationship. My thoughts are why things didn't work out... at Xmas when when we had sex it was quite painful (apart from the other stuff) and feel that he might've got a bit sexually frustrated, hence perhaps soon after? he started dating someone else... which then continued? Because I hadn't seen him for just over a month? Because I didn't ask if it could be exclusive? How can I be more in control next time? I just don't want to feel an option.
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