SpiralOut Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 I've posted about this guy before on here. Long story short, he initially showed a lot of interest in getting to know me. I misinterpreted it as romantic interest and put on some moves. He totally backed off, and things got weird. We work together. After he went cold on me, I tried to deal with it by being aloof with him. He wasn't going for it though. He would just try and be friendly to me and try to make me laugh. He put in the effort to ask me how I am, did I get my new apartment yet, blahblah. He could have just ignored me the way I was trying to ignore him, but he didn't. I am not sure if he's like this with everyone or not since not many single women my age work with us. He is definately a friendly guy though so maybe this is just the friendliness in him. For some reason he wants to stay on good speaking terms with me. After a few weeks of total weirdness, things have become more normal. It's now at a point where we're basically friends AT work, but don't hang out outside of work anymore. I would prefer to not be friends at all because continuing to talk to him like this is causing me to fall for him all over again when what I need to do is get over him. It is a very small company so ignoring him completely isn't really possible. If we were to stop being work friends, it would make things even weirder and more difficult than they are now. It's the sort of work environment where lots of people are friends with each other outside of work, and we'll all joke and laugh while working, and we'll do company get-togethers and things like that. I finally cracked tonight and texted him to ask him if I had done or said anything to offend or weird him out last time we hung out. He said no. I then told him that things have seemed weird since then and I would rather they not be weird, and what does he think? He said that things don't need to be weird and he just wants to be friends. So now I know what he wants. Which makes me feel better to at least know that. I just don't know how to get over him when I am stuck seeing him pretty much every day?? Also, why is he attempting to remain friendly with me when he knows that I like him?? It sort of upsets me.
FitChick Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 This is a classic example of why you should never date anyone in your company. I've been through this and learned my lesson. If you think you are uncomfortable and upset now, wait until he dates someone else you work with. That is truly hell. Ask him to fix you up with one of his friends.
Leegh Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 This happened to me too. I worked with and liked a guy for seven years. Initially, he seemed to like me, and then I acted snotty and he totally (I mean totally ignored me); I could have been a piece of furniture, but yet many times I noticed he was really looking at me in a romantic way. It was totally unclear. Finally, he left the company, and I was over him pretty quickly. I would try one more time with this fellow, maybe with the holiday season not too far away, suggest going to a holiday party or something, and then if nothing happens the first of year start looking for another job.
Casablanca Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 This is a classic example of why you should never date anyone in your company. I've been through this and learned my lesson. If you think you are uncomfortable and upset now, wait until he dates someone else you work with. That is truly hell. I dont think it is always bad, a lot more precautions must be taken AND things must move pretty slow, but I think it can always be worth the risk, you'll never know what could have been....life is about taking risks and chances... OP, stay strong and you will make it through it...can make you stronger for going through this awful situation. Life life with no regrets
Pasttense Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 You just need to get involved with another guy.
Casablanca Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 You just need to get involved with another guy. Another guy who is the RIGHT guy and someone she actually likes, not just a rebound
Author SpiralOut Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Thanks all. Well I agree that it would be good for me to start dating someone else. I don't mind so much that he doesn't want to date me, it is more the fact that other people are wanting to set him up with other women and it makes me feel so jealous I can't stand it. I really don't want to know about what's happening in his dating life . I still get the feeling that he likes to look at me, and he obviously likes talking to me. I don't want to be too pathetic with hoping he'll change his mind, but it's a possibility. And as much as I would prefer to not be around him every day, there is just no way that I am going to search for a new job just because of him. I'll get over him eventually. I'm very picky about who I like so yeah it might be a while before I start to actually date anyone. I'm not sure if I'm even ready to be dating right now but I like this guy anyway which is stupid and makes no sense. ARGH.
vsmini Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 This is a classic example of why you should never date anyone in your company. I've been through this and learned my lesson. If you think you are uncomfortable and upset now, wait until he dates someone else you work with. That is truly hell. Ask him to fix you up with one of his friends. I'll second this - I've been through the same thing. Awful. I don't care if my soul mate were to walk through these office doors this afternoon...if he wants to date me...he can find another job. To the OP - sorry you're going through it. Just be civil with him. Keep all communication to business talk. He might just be looking for an ego boost
vsmini Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I dont think it is always bad, a lot more precautions must be taken AND things must move pretty slow, but I think it can always be worth the risk, you'll never know what could have been....life is about taking risks and chances... OP, stay strong and you will make it through it...can make you stronger for going through this awful situation. Life life with no regrets I agree with living life and taking chances but ironically this guy that I dated from work was a huge regret in my life....but also to boot - going through that utter hell did make me stronger and was one heck of a learning experience. So.....I won't be dating another guy from work - A because I'm already in a relationship and B - I'm not risking that hell again. I'm just not...let the relationship of a lifetime pass me by if that's the case. I ain't doing it again.
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