FinOuch Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) So it's been about five months since the breakup blindsided me. I've stopped counting weeks. Background story here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t288636/ I spent a good amount of time just trucking along and getting past all the hurt and just being okay with myself and being single. I've been having a great time with friends (old and new) and new hobbies, I've worked on improving the few things in my life (shyness, the few pounds I gained while with him, etc) to regain my self-confidence...and most importantly I've really poured my heart and soul into finishing my masters and lining up interviews and networking to hopefully land a great job when I finish. I thought I had made incredible progress over the last couple months. That is not to say that I completely stopped thinking about him and that there weren't times I didn't miss him...but it wasn't incessant anymore, and I have taken on a "it's his loss, really...I'll come out better for this" sort of attitude. I can find uninterrupted and undistracted joy in going out, focusing on tasks, watching tv...etc. And, thank god, he's been pretty much non-existent in my dreams...finally. So I was involved in this event a few weekends ago which I wanted to share photos of, and given the size of the group involved I figured it would be easiest to just to post them to FB – which has been deactivated since the night he dumped me. So I reactivated (of course he's online, and of course the first thing on my new feed is some crap about him and the girl he left me for - *rolls eyes*) and I immediately just purge my account of him. Unsubscribe from his news feed...restrict him...untagged myself in the few photos he apparently still has up of me/us, and deleted every photo from my page that he appeared in. I didn't have a moment's hesitation in this. I'd come to terms with the fact that he is one gigantic douchebag and isn't worth a second thought. Within an hour I got an email (not a FB message, an actual email) from him. A couple paragraphs long. Referenced a couple inside jokes, tried to make small talk, gave me his new number...blah blah blah. But what really gets to me is he stated a few things that just kill me. Such as: -he didn't want to hurt me and hates that he did -he didn't leave me for the other girl (yeah, bull****) -I'm important to him -he misses me This was a few days ago, and I ignored the email. But now it's just haunting me like crazy. I know he's still in a relationship with this girl, so I really don't understand why he felt the need to email me at all. Let alone go right to the painful topics. Emotionally, I'm all over the freaking board again. I'm pissed off. I'm hurting – randomly breaking down in tears again. Not eating. Distracted. Dreaming about him every freaking night. I'm right back to it being in the forefront of my mind nonstop and rehashing every little detail and worst yet...missing him so terribly I can't even stand it. There's part of me that wants to write an email basically just saying I don't believe anything he has to say, and to just leave me alone. Basically a f*ck-off email. I'm hoping that it would help me to just find my own closure and put the email from my mind? This is so maddening. I feel like I'm right back at square one. I don't understand why he wrote me, or why he wrote what he wrote...and I have no idea how to react or how to just let it go. ARGH! *pulls hair out* Edited October 6, 2011 by FinOuch
mike111 Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 This is so maddening. I feel like I'm right back at square one. I don't understand why he wrote me, or why he wrote what he wrote...and I have no idea how to react or how to just let it go. ARGH! *pulls hair out* As tough as it may be, you need to stay 1/2 world away from this jerk. If you can, dump his email accounts, and facebook rubbish. Change your number if you have to, and block his access to any online accounts you have, FB, twitter etc.. No contact is the way to go. Every time you have contact with this person, just once, it could set you back 2 weeks or even a month into the past emotionally. People can be like drugs for us. Just another way to stimulate our emotions. The longer we stay away from "the drug" the better we will be.
Recommended Posts