sumdude Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) Happened to reply to another thread with this thought and decided it might deserve it's own thread. " At 43 I've learned that sometimes it's more important to know what you don't want than to think you know what you do want. " Having been through a marriage and divorce around 40 I was single and out dating again. I learned a lot from how I ended up with my ex wife and the emotional pain I went through when she dropped me like a bad habit. I decided that never again would I allow myself to be blindsided that way again. I dated and had intimacy more women in the 4 years after the divorce than the twenty-some years of adulthood before I met my ex. Nit a huge number but it was good for me though i bet a couple of those women might not be my biggest fans. Anyway I found it way easier than before to simply end things quickly and move on if I found something I didn't like. I wasn't afraid of being alone or not meeting someone else. I was pretty honest and upfront. Didn't try to use or lead anyone on, at least not consciously. I'm on at least friendly terms with most of the women but not in touch with them anymore. My current GF has been through the wringer. She's also 43. She made every mistake in the book and picked some absolute azzhats. She essentially gave up and was single and celibate for 3+ years. Learned who she really was and what she didn't want. Some call it the deal-breakers list or whatever. I just say know what you don't want and stick to it. Trying to come up the image of the 'perfect one' will leave all your options looking 'imperfect' and no one is perfect. You can't special order love. Know what you don't want. End it quickly, don't try to make something work just because you're afraid of loneliness. The longer you drag it out the deeper the pain when it inevitably ends. Don't be afraid of being alone. You should be your own best friend and favorite company. Trust your gut. Celibacy won't kill you, but keep you eyes open for possible fun. Be honest with yourself and upfront with the people in your life. Don't try to get inside another persons mind to understand why. It will only help you lose your own mind. Edited October 6, 2011 by sumdude
plowguy1 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Dude, I'm 46, got left after 16 yrs married and 3 kids. This gives me some hope. It's been 2 yrs since she left, and I don't she could possibly be any happier. It hurts like hell...
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