Bruised Not Broken Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 So...as I said the ex wanted to tell me what a trashy whore I am...in a very passive aggressive indirect manner (and I'm not btw) So...I asked him why he felt the need to be so insulting when he tells me he wants to be friends. Today he calls me and tells me that he can't stand the thought of me with someone else. it really bothers him. I said I looked at a nice house...big kitchen...nice master bath with a jacuzzi tub....blah blah blah..and he says "make sure to have lots of chlorine for the tub" I had said "no it's new construction...never used" and he said "no, I didn't mean previous owners...I just figure you'll have plenty of 'guests'" That's HIM bringing up me being with other guys NOT ME (and I DO NOT meet random guys and have sex with them) It's things like that that HE says unprompted. So now he at least admitted why. UM...you dumped me...refused to take me back when I begged to work on it...you have a new gf...and you are upset that I will eventually be with another guy??? REALLY effing weirdo. I don't want you...but I don't want anyone else to have you either.
jyoun Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I can understand an ex blaming you for wanting to be with someone else. That's pretty much happening to me right now, so I think I understand what you are going through... If he has no basis to know the truth about this, then it is likely his special way of coping. Perhaps he needs to be angry with you to overcome the loss, or he's trying to convince himself that you are beneath him and therefor he deserves better. It could be he's insecure right now and desperate, and these two things mixed together can bring about such accusations. I'd recommend not contacting him anymore. I know it's hard...
antz2411 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 you've come a long way bruiser! im proud of you! so i got this little story for you haha i hope it helps you deal with your situation now. Once there was a group of tiny frogs who arranged a climbing competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer the contestants on. The race began. No one in the crowd really believed the frogs would reach the top of the tower. Statements such as, “Oh, way too difficult!”, “They will never make it to the top.”, “Not a chance they will succeed, and “The tower is too high!”, were heard throughout the race. One by one, the frogs began collapsing. Only those who gained a fresh purpose continued to climb higher. The crowd yelled louder, “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!” More frogs became tired and gave up. But one continued to climb higher and higher. This one refused to give up! At the end of the race, everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for one tiny frog who put out a huge effort to reach the top! Then everyone wanted to know how he managed to do it. How had he found the strength to reach his goal? It turned out the winning frog was deaf! The wisdom of this story is this: Never listen to other people’s negative comments or pessimism because they will steal your dreams. you have come a long way from 2 months ago, 2 weeks ago, 1 week ago.. you never dreamed of being were you're at now, so realize you are already living a dream and you just need to wake up from this one and dream some more!
Author Bruised Not Broken Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 you've come a long way bruiser! im proud of you! so i got this little story for you haha i hope it helps you deal with your situation now. Once there was a group of tiny frogs who arranged a climbing competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer the contestants on. The race began. No one in the crowd really believed the frogs would reach the top of the tower. Statements such as, “Oh, way too difficult!”, “They will never make it to the top.”, “Not a chance they will succeed, and “The tower is too high!”, were heard throughout the race. One by one, the frogs began collapsing. Only those who gained a fresh purpose continued to climb higher. The crowd yelled louder, “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!” More frogs became tired and gave up. But one continued to climb higher and higher. This one refused to give up! At the end of the race, everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for one tiny frog who put out a huge effort to reach the top! Then everyone wanted to know how he managed to do it. How had he found the strength to reach his goal? It turned out the winning frog was deaf! The wisdom of this story is this: Never listen to other people’s negative comments or pessimism because they will steal your dreams. you have come a long way from 2 months ago, 2 weeks ago, 1 week ago.. you never dreamed of being were you're at now, so realize you are already living a dream and you just need to wake up from this one and dream some more! LOVE the story!!!! I have come a long way. I know there will be moments that I get wistful and maybe sad...but I'm DONE letting him make me feel bad! Seriously...I'm entirely too awesome (I'm not really that arrogant...but I'm working on improving how I think about me...and positive reinforcement is helping)
Author Bruised Not Broken Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 BTW Antz...loving the "bruiser" monicker. I'm gonna have to use that in my every day life
antz2411 Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 BTW Antz...loving the "bruiser" monicker. I'm gonna have to use that in my every day life haha instead of you being bruised, from now on you be the bruiser lol.. and on ur other post.. its ok to be arrogant as long as you know how and when to use it, it builds up your self esteem as a matter of fact.
momto3boys Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 My husband told me he wanted a divorce a month ago. Went and told everyone that i was a b*tch, nuts. Even went as far as to tell his squad leader (hes in the army) that i attacked him even though i didnt. He was making a video of me on his phone calling me names and i tried to grab his phone but didnt touch him just leaning over him trying to grab his phone and he pushed me off of him and went and told his squad leader that i attacked him. Then he wanted me to leave the house, so i moved back home (6 hours from him) and he has been partying, told me to leave him a lone, go f*ck someone else (his exact words) so id get off his back, move on, etc. So.....I go NC on him for a week, he blows my phone up then starts accusing me of being with other men (i am almost 9 months pregnant by him btw, lol) and i asked why he cared. Then he backed off. Another week goes by and he starts accusing me of being with other men again. Even went as far as to say he didnt want our son around one of my male friends that he thought i was screwing around with. I have 2 kids and am 9 months pregnant, sex is obviously the last thing on my mind right now! lol. So my ex does the exact same thing. I finally had to say "look you want a divorce. Ive begged you to work things out, you refuse. So do not worry about my personal life." and he has left me a lone about it since.
Thieves Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 (edited) I said I looked at a nice house...big kitchen...nice master bath with a jacuzzi tub....blah blah blah..and he says "make sure to have lots of chlorine for the tub" I had said "no it's new construction...never used" and he said "no, I didn't mean previous owners...I just figure you'll have plenty of 'guests'" That's HIM bringing up me being with other guys NOT ME (and I DO NOT meet random guys and have sex with them) It's things like that that HE says unprompted. Okay, I'm sorry, but what is WITH this freako? Yes, I called him a "freako". Because from what you've told us so far, that's how he's acting. To be honest, you'd be better not even talking anymore to this guy, darling. He's not really doing anything to help you heal or move on. Not really doing anything for you, period, but attempting to put you down. Notice I said attempting! Once again, I'm so proud of you for coming this far, but don't let yourself get stuck thinking about his negative comments! It's not worth it. Remember, it's all about acceptance and finding that one 'right door'... and whenever you find it, please, have the courage to slam it in this guy's face. It's well earned. Edited October 7, 2011 by Thieves
Sugarkane Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 They sure are weird lime when the dumper de daily a text, which is clearly meant for another woman. Or shovethejr new relationship in your face. Just low.
Author Bruised Not Broken Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Okay, I'm sorry, but what is WITH this freako? Yes, I called him a "freako". Because from what you've told us so far, that's how he's acting. To be honest, you'd be better not even talking anymore to this guy, darling. He's not really doing anything to help you heal or move on. Not really doing anything for you, period, but attempting to put you down. Notice I said attempting! Once again, I'm so proud of you for coming this far, but don't let yourself get stuck thinking about his negative comments! It's not worth it. Remember, it's all about acceptance and finding that one 'right door'... and whenever you find it, please, have the courage to slam it in this guy's face. It's well earned. I don't know what his problem is...but I'm certain that it's not my problem anymore. I miss what I thought we had...but know that was just a mirage..I will now focus on me...and my family and friends...and when the right person comes into my life...he will be good to me and with me. and, I am learning to wish him only the best....now THAT is growth. I was seriously wishing horrible things upon him when I was so angry...but i really hope he finds peace and happiness. (I'm too enlightened for my own good today 8)
shayla Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Mmm hmmm, the old selfish assed attitude, how dare you get on with your life, you are supposed to be having a nervous breakdown....humph maybe if I rub your face in my new relationship you will have that breakdown. No? Well then, let me treat you cruel and insult and disrespect you, that should do it!!!! People like that mentally masturbate at the suffering they cause other people. Leave them in to wallow in their own sh*t.
Author Bruised Not Broken Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 mmm hmmm, the old selfish assed attitude, how dare you get on with your life, you are supposed to be having a nervous breakdown....humph maybe if i rub your face in my new relationship you will have that breakdown. No? Well then, let me treat you cruel and insult and disrespect you, that should do it!!!! People like that mentally masturbate at the suffering they cause other people. Leave them in to wallow in their own sh*t. exactly!!!!!!!!!
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