i don't get it at all

[tomm]

hey ppl ,new guy here i been reading the forums here a while now .going through something here recently that i just can't figure out ,maybe someone has been through something similar ?

I am a dumpee of a 6 yr exclusive relationship ,dumpped for no reason [according to the ex i did nothing wrong] i was dumpped almost 5 months ago ,we've had no contact , then minimal contact [at first] she has always mentioned to me we are ''friends'' though i didn't feel that and told her so YET she still was claiming we were ''friends'' .

RECENTLY we've had long conversations though no reason was givin of why she dumped me as she did the convos went o.k. talks of us getting together to sit down face to face and talk have come up and to se how we would be around each other ya know see if theirs a spark [the meetings never took place ]THEN hints of a reconciliation were tossed around ,just a mention of it and things said like ''anythings possable'' , ''don't know what the future holds'' etc .to me it was a glimmer of hope

NOW this past Sat morning we spoke for a bit ,i have recently heard things from people we both know .stuff like she's datting,seen her with someone etc .SOO i said to her ''we're friends you say right ?'' she said yes . i asked if we were being honest with each other ,she said she was only i would know if i'm being honest with her ,i said i was .I came right out and asked her this ''are you withanyone ?'' she said no i don't even have time to be with anyone i'm so usy with work,her kids,family etc .

so i said we've been apart about 5 months and we're talking about sitting down together and talking ,seeing how we would be around each other,even talkingabout maybe trying again ,she agreed we've talked about doing those things .so i just said IF their is smeone else in your life now just tell me cause basically iftheir is i wont waste your time , or mine

again no their is noone i'm with she said ...

NOW Mon i am out running errands ,i see her car turning into a lot ,i figure oh i'll stop and say hi [harmless] she gets out the passanger side door of her car a guy [who i know] gets out of the drivers side K i don't jump to conclusions i don't aproach i just leave.it bothers me what i saw .i call a friend who has told me he seen her with someone a couple of times ,i just ask him were they in or did you notice her car ,he said no i seen her in a blue jeep [a blue jeep is what the guy i seen her with and know drives].

I call her Mon night to say hi ,ask if she would be free on Tues after work to get together to have our talk ? she tells me no she can't her kids will be with her and they'll be doing projects for school .i say o.k. another time then .i pick up my friend we take a drive by her house she's not home ,i know where the other guy i saw lives i drive by his place .

her car and his are in his driveway ,my friend says yes that's the jeep i saw her in and getting out of numerous times with a guy.

ME and the guy she's with have mutual friends ,i run into some hanging out and ask how he's doing i haven't seen him in a bit ? they say they haven't seen him much he's got this girl-friend [they tell me her name ,it's my ex;s name]said they been datting a while now .i'm up set

I call my ex the next morning we talk about basic things , i ask how the school projects went with the kids she says fine -i say how's Bob she goes silent ,i say i know what i know saw what i saw anything you want to tell me ? no nothing i want to say to you ,i tell her it's pretty low for her to use her kids an excuse to be with somone else ,she just says whatever,i tell her i know Bob i can call him myself and see what he says .i did ,i called him he was at work busy didn't admit anything said i could call him later on [ i haven't least not yet ]

i don't believe in the g.i.g.s. stuff at all so i'm not saying it's that ,it's basically me getting dumpped for someone else .I just don't get why all the lies all the nice long talks the mention of us sitting and talking etc.the false hopes AND now the avoidance ,i call i get no replies no call backs

k she's embarrased sh got caught i could understand that , trying to avoid a confrontation i get that too WHY when we say we're being honest with each other these lies ,she could have said yes i'm datting someone when i asked ..what is it with people [woman] with these situations

[Rorschach64]

Welllllll man I got the same run around as you but I was cursed out and demeaned for discovering there was an other dude. Who knows why they do that besides defense mechanisms. Though my ex accused me of cheating to initially mask her guilt