rocketboy9 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I have known this woman for a while. I had asked her out in the past and she was involved and there was a lot of turmoil so I didnt close the door but just was friendly with her. Over time we have become very friendly in a flirty way. I am everything her last boyfriend wasnt - her last boyfriend was not a communicator. She wants someone who is open to her and talks to her. We have long talks at length. About a month ago she broke up with her boyfriend and told me she didnt want to date ever again so instead of pouncing on it, I just gave her space. Anyway last week was her birthday and I said to her very casually - I want to take you out for her birthday. She said and I quote - I dont want a big heavy romantic date. I said thats fine and just assumed we were going out friendly. When she showed up for dinner it was very apparent it was a date. She was dressed to kill and spent 4 hours chewing my ear off talking to me. At the end of the evening I didnt press her, I told her good night and gave her a kiss and left. I saw her a few days later and she was telling me how much of a good time she had. So last night I asked her out again, today I got this email: "While I have you, sorry I missed your call last night. I need to be honest and say things are truly crazy right now, but yes, sushi at some point sounds good! But, this week and next are bad, and then I am away at a conference...so at some point, yes, we should get together again to catch up and so that I can try some good sushi. Now you see why it is hard for me to have a personal life, right? This point in the semester gets rough, since everything is in high gear. But, once things settle down we should meet up again. " So I am trying to understand what she is saying - is she legitimately busy, trying to slow me down or brush me off? Should I bother maintaining contact with her?
strawberryshortstack Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 being a student myself, I can vouch for her comment about this point in the semester being rough, so I would say she's legitimately busy. Today is the first time I personally have been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes and not have to do something school related. So give her some time if you can stand it and see what happens.
mrgoodcat Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Honest answer: I don't know, dude. But being that it is 2 some weeks, you might want to start asking other girls out.
DirtyDancing Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Yeah, I wish I could answer this question. I've gotten some very similar comments like "this week is crazy, but let's talk later." Or asking me for a raincheck but not rushing in on me. I don't understand why people do this. Yes, some people are legitimately busy. But in my opinion, if they really want to see you and they keep SAYING they want to see you, there's no reason why they shouldn't. No one is that busy. I'm not saying she's brushing you off it sounds like she's asking for space but is interested.
DirtyDancing Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 "things are truly crazy right now, but yes, sushi at some point sounds good! But, this week and next are bad, and then I am away at a conference...so at some point, yes, we should get together again to catch up and so that I can try some good sushi. Now you see why it is hard for me to have a personal life, right? This point in the semester gets rough, since everything is in high gear. But, once things settle down we should meet up again. " Holy sh*t. I heard the male version of these words almost verbatim, without the sushi part. Literally, "at some point", "this week and next are crazy", "once things settle down". Wow. Ok, I have been wondering the same thing about my situation which is tremendously more complicated, but that's ironic that the words are so identical. I haven't contacted him, so that may answer your question as to whether or not you should maintain contact. I'd say let her be the one to come to you when she's ready. Don't press her otherwise she'll run the opposite way. I'd say she needs time. Let me know how this one goes...
allina Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 It sounds like she has friend zoned you and is afraid that after the birthday date you might think there is something there. She probably thinks you're a great guy and doesn't get why she doesn't feel the spark with you. She wants to let you down easy and possibly keep you on the back burner just in case. OP, you sound like a great guy that has a lot to offer. I suggest finding a woman who truly wants you and has a lot to offer you in return.
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