MIK1000 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Anyone else just come on here when they are bored, as you would with facebook or another forum? Is it maybe detrimental to our well being because it leads us to think about the breakup/our ex when we aren't neccessarily hurting about it during that specific time? Sometimes I find myself specifically reading threads about ex's coming back just to give myself hope. That has to be bad news. For that reason I don't go anywhere near the second chance section.
TheDovic Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I often wonder whether or not it keeps us within this cycle, but some of the advice AND the support I believe helps more than hinders! i.e. Does going to AA make you want to drink more OR less?
M2155 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I did the reading for hope posts earlier on but eventually I got over it. Now I like seeing the posts where the second chances do NOT work because my ex went back to an ex (sorry! haha). I haven't seen too many great stories in the second chance forum either. I wondered if you (not you specifically) are sitting home on this forum all day is that hurting you and I would say probably yes. For me, it's an interesting distraction from work, the advice, analysis and support was super helpful and I'm over the worst and it's comforting to see others get there too. Plus reading (sorry again!) other people's stories make me realize how far I've come and in some cases I didn't have it so bad. I will say it again, it is truly facinating how human behavior can be so similar and predictable all over the world!!
Author MIK1000 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 I often wonder whether or not it keeps us within this cycle, but some of the advice AND the support I believe helps more than hinders! i.e. Does going to AA make you want to drink more OR less? Yes, it definitely is a great help if you need advice, or support for things like no contact or how to act in a specific situation. But sometimes I find myself waking up in the morning, or getting home from work and going straight on to this forum to read all the new threads/posts when instead I could be watching something I like on the tv that makes me laugh or reading a good book.
arbrne_vet Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I have thought the same thing too. Although, i am at the point to where i have put my foot down with NC, and come here for support when i feel i might break it. I think it helps to get opinions as to what is going on. A guy wants a girls point of view, visa versa.
Author MIK1000 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 I did the reading for hope posts earlier on but eventually I got over it. Now I like seeing the posts where the second chances do NOT work because my ex went back to an ex (sorry! haha). I haven't seen too many great stories in the second chance forum either. I wondered if you (not you specifically) are sitting home on this forum all day is that hurting you and I would say probably yes. For me, it's an interesting distraction from work, the advice, analysis and support was super helpful and I'm over the worst and it's comforting to see others get there too. Plus reading (sorry again!) other people's stories make me realize how far I've come and in some cases I didn't have it so bad. I will say it again, it is truly facinating how human behavior can be so similar and predictable all over the world!! Ironically I'm the opposite of you, I gather hope from seeing threads about someone being dumped as a result of the person going back to their ex. And your right, on the other hand being able to read about other people who are almost in the same situation as you, or even worse helps. Especially because at first (maybe given my age, 20) I thought it was incredibly unlucky to have been treated so badly and have to go through all of this. Then after reading this forum I realise that it's just a fact of life. Maybe it's better to just manage your time on this, if you need help or advice/support then come on here. But make myself avoid this like the plague if I feel ok but just bored.
mike588 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 This site has helped me so much!! Wish I would of found it before I sought out therapy $$$$ Many of the people who are in my situation (ex back to ex) have made me feel like I'm not alone and I like hearing their experiences and advise. Hopefully soon I'll be over her,, I'm getting there,,, and won't need to come here so much. Thanks to all for being so kind!
Els Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I think it depends on which stage you're at. Typically people tend to post a lot here when they really need someone to talk to about it. When the hardest part of the grief is over and they want to start forgetting, they don't post. That is probably the wisest choice.
M2155 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 But sometimes I find myself waking up in the morning, or getting home from work and going straight on to this forum to read all the new threads/posts when instead I could be watching something I like on the tv that makes me laugh or reading a good book. Maybe you need to go no contact!! (just kidding!! )
radiodarcy Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 i admit i tend to come on here when i'm bored and need to pass the time. that being said, coming on here does keep me from getting *too* bored and coming up with the crazy idea to check his facebook or something. so this board has really been helpful in that respect in that it serves as an online 24-hour support. i probably do spend way too much time on here. which is why i take a break on the weekends or holidays. i will say most of the threads i've read in the second chances section don't really have an happy ending or they consist of people grasping at straws or lamenting their situation. very few of them have to do with an ex coming back.
Rorschach64 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I like coming here out of boredom (6 hour bus ride to drill), seeking new insight on why not to break nc, and helping people best I can. Granted my advice may not be as good as homebrew or wilsonx but I feel that I should give back when these individuals freely give to us. Other than that, I dont think it is bad to be on here too much as long as you stay away from 2nd chances forum, that place is depressing.
Zabs Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 It hekps if you are in the right section...I come on mainly because it stops the drill in my head..and I get to support other people which builds confidence too. Zabs xx
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