arbrne_vet Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I feel like contacting her, sending her an e-mail, but i have done all that already. i know what will come if i contact her. just a little rough, again today. i miss her. don't know why. this is what she has done this past year. flirted with someone right in front of me, week after week, and denies it was flirting. stopped coming by my house stopped calling stopped sending texts no time for me time for her friends. she has just strung me along this past year. she needed "time" but not time away from me. i really don't understand this. this is all i have heard for the past year. "i told you i need time". ya, she needed time alright. time to find someone else.
Mack05 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Its real tough mate, NC is very very hard. Especially when you feel there is so much left unsaid. Ever notice there is always stuff you wished you said, or you wish you acted in a different way when you last spoke?That never changes. Sometimes we just need to try accept as best we can that these girls are not right for us..This helps me alot.. "The fact is you need to accept that you have been with someone whose approach to life is simply incompatible to yours. Perhaps it was evident that you thought in different ways, saw the world differently, and operated on irreconcilable differences but you chose to ignore it or worked hard to correct it. You can't ignore dissimilar viewpoints any longer. Accept the fact that you think differently and let it go so you can find someone whose way of thinking is compatible with yours."
TheDovic Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 What would we do without you Mack??? You're like the Yoda of LS
Author arbrne_vet Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 I can honestly say there is nothing left unsaid, and nothing i wish i would have done different. Well, there is one thing i would have done different. last year when she said she was not sure if she wanted to make it work, i should have gone NC, and left her alone. She has spent the last year not being sure, and her actions showed. She wanted her cake and eat it too. She also said nothing was her fault, and i was the reason for our problems. She stopped being intimate with me last year, and after about the 5th time she turned me down, i got upset. i mean, who would not. of course that was my fault. she stopped coming by my house, and when we would get into arguments about it, it was my fault. when she had no time for me, but time for our friends, and i would get upset, then it was my fault. Ya, i wish i would have walked away last year. would have saved myself much time, money, and heartache.
Fleabitten Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Sounds really rough. I feel your pain. Write her a goodbye letter that includes all the things you want to say. Just don't send it. (burn it with one of her belongings...) Two people in a relationship create a dynamic, it is very rare that just one is entirely to blame so she is clearly very ignorant to blame everything on you. It will bite her in the a$$ one day. The thing that keeps me at any sort of level headed existence right now is the knowledge that the loss of a person like this, the pain of the breakup, probably won't be as painful as being in a relationship with this person. So the worst is over.
Graceful Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Ya, i wish i would have walked away last year. would have saved myself much time, money, and heartache. Hiya A-Vet, And how are you this evening? Haven't been on LS much at all this week, I'm sorry to say, but I just had a minute and here you are going on 12 days NC and I am just very happy to see that your commitment to yourself is holding strong. I agree. You've said it all. Unless you like repeating yourself for the umpteenth time, unless you like banging that thick skull of yours a few more times (and I know you can take it -- but can the wall take it? ) -- so rejoice in yourself, your decision to FINALLY kick your ex to the curb and know that once this really difficult period is over -- you will be set free and feel liberated from someone who was not making you happy. So keep up the good work. And go out with those friends this weekend, the ones who make you laugh. The more you can get into the absurdity of your situation, the better you will feel. I wish I'd kicked my ex to the curb a lot sooner, too -- but better late than never. Now who has the thicker skull, you or me? Is this a contest you want to win or not? Take care. Grace
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