he was "depressed" when we broke up... now he's "happy" with a new girl

[funnyface]

My ex and I broke up about 7 weeks ago after a long, painful month when, after things were seemingly PERFECT, *poof* he started ignoring me and shutting me out eventually told me it was because he was "depressed". (you can read my previous threads for more detail).

 

Now, my friends and I are 95% sure that, not only is he seeing another girl (a mutual friend... who is "obsessed" with him, and while we were together, he would complain how she would always follow him around, and would tell me "baby, shes SO annoying! I'm so glad I have you, you're the only one I have eyes for!").... but, he is writing on facebook how "speechlessly happy" he is.

 

For a while, I really thought the problem was that he WAS depressed and had serious issues. Well, now I guess the case is that he just has serious issues

 

The pain... the lies... the fact that he has moved on to someone else. I just don't know what to do. My only source of comfort is other people who have come forth and told me that he's a train wreck and its better I found out sooner than later. :sigh:

 

Super big hugs to anyone else who is dealing with something like this

[january2011]

Strict NC. Unfriend. Block. Delete.

 

Stop gossiping about what he's up to with friends. Tell your friends that it's over between the two of you and you don't need to know what's going on in his life.

 

Then focus on filling up your time and being good to yourself.

[calreese]

If he really is depressed like you say, he is probably just using this girl to feel better about himself since you say she is "obsessed" with him. Basically, he doesn't feel very good about himself so he wants to be with someone who over compensates and puts all her energy into him. That's not healthy. Just be strong without him, he'll eventually realize that what he's doing isn't going to work in the long run, and he needs someone stable like you if he's ever going to be able to stand on his own two feet.

[M2155]

I can relate, my ex went distant and (while not depressed) was having financial troubles with his business. I thought he was just dealing and gave him space. Little did I know he was reuniting with his "crazy about him" ex right under my nose. Felt the same way you feel!

 

Since then I've healed and while I still hope they don't work out, it forced me to see his flaws and realize I deserve and can find someone that is really into me and wouldn't bail when times get challenging. Believing we deserve better is the first step because life must be making room in our hearts for someone better.

[nature]

Ugh, it sounds like he was already seeing her and used the "depressed" thing as an aversion to what he was doing. Delete him from facebook. Don't taunt your curiosity. Delete. You are being self destructive and torturing youself. And he's playing in to it. Delete him and shock him.

[M2155]

Everyone is right, there is nothing you can do. The best revenge is moving on happy without them. Easier said than done of course.

I love the way these people "transition" right into another relationship!

[funnyface]

Thanks everyone for the advice! I'm dealing with it much better now

 

I didn't block him on facebook, because my friend suggested that it looks like I'm hurting too much. I want him to see my facebook and eventually see how great I'm doing with out him

 

Talking to my friends has helped ENORMOUSLY. They have reminded me over and over again how much he promised me and how in love he said he was with me, and it was all fake... so anything he tells her, I have heard before as well, and just to remember that he will probably screw her over too.

 

She has already missed close to 3 weeks of class to go visit him in California!!!! The fact that she is sacrificing herself, her time, and her studies for him, and not the other way around, has made me not jealous or upset anymore. I have gotten calls for job interviews this week and I'm REALLY excited and happy. Plus I've learned a lot from other people coming forth telling me about his issues and his problems.

 

Starting to feel thankful that I dodged a bullet, even though I am obviously still healing. Thank you everyone here for your help and words of wisdom, LS has been amazing and a huge part of my healing process!!!