YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 The other night my ex girlfriend (she was the dumper) kept looking over watching what I was doing with another girl I am currently dating. She seemed sad and at one point seemed to walk out when she saw my arm around the new girl I am dating. She also was walking towards us once and turned away as if she didn't see us and started playing with her hair. She is 22, I am 25; this happened at a bar. My ex girlfriend dumped me 2 months ago after a short 2 month long relationship. The relationship seemed perfect and she dumped me out of nowhere saying she thought "something was missing" and feeling our relationship evolved into friendship. She said I did nothing wrong, so it was a shock to me at the time. We stayed in low contact and I pleaded for over a month (fought for the relationship) but it didn't work out. She told me 2 weeks previously to this encounter for me to stop texting her and that she no longer had feelings for me. She also told a friend she has moved on. I haven't spoken to her since she pretty much told me to not contact her again. If she really has moved on why would she be so curious to see what I was doing with the other girl I am dating? Why does she even care?
LoveNoob Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) Could be she's not as completely over you as she thought and only figured that out when she saw another girl having what she had but appearantly didnt appreciate back then. Rule #16 when it comes to women: When they see another woman having a guy, that guy becomes something she wants. Ok im just kidding, no offense to the ladies here. So maybe she was jealous, maybe she started 2nd guessing the break-up, maybe she had another guy waiting in the wings 1-2 months ago but he turned out to be a failure. Or maybe she wanted to try to be friends when she saw you again but felt awkward about it. It's hard to say, so if you like this new girl you are dating id suggest you just keep doing that. If you would rather go back to your ex-GF, well then i think she first needs to be more open about her intentions. But be careful you do not turn your current date/GF into a rebound you will leave for your ex-GF! That would be mean. Edited October 6, 2011 by LoveNoob
Spices Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Jelousy, most likely. She's only human & sometimes we can't help but feel surges of those emotions. She may have broken up with you, but that doesn't change the fact that you were once hers. I'm guessing that seeing you with another girl also hurt her ego. "like damn, he really is moving on"
EgoJoe Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I'm not a sexist but on the real dude, heres why, she was jealous and women can be absolutely retarded when emotional. Men too...as a rule though it's not in the same ballpark. We go to different extremes.
TheDovic Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Obviously still has feelings for you, but if you weren't enough for her after just two months (honeymoon stage) then likelihood is she'd dump you again if you got back together as she will be looking for someone "better." (In her opinion obviously) Alternatively she might just be jealous you are no longer chasing her. Some people are like this because they've such big egos!
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 Hey guys thanks for your responses. I just don't know what to do at the moment. I tried for over a month to get her back and nothing worked. She even begged me to stop contacting her, saying it wasn't fair to her anymore; so this is out of the question. I just don't understand why she wouldn't contact me if she still feels this way. Wouldn't she try to regain back the power? I am not officially in a relationship with the new girl, we are taking it slow. I obviously still have feelings for the ex.
LoveNoob Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Hey guys thanks for your responses. I just don't know what to do at the moment. I tried for over a month to get her back and nothing worked. She even begged me to stop contacting her, saying it wasn't fair to her anymore; so this is out of the question. I just don't understand why she wouldn't contact me if she still feels this way. Wouldn't she try to regain back the power? I am not officially in a relationship with the new girl, we are taking it slow. I obviously still have feelings for the ex. Because it's quite possible it was merely a reaction to seeing you with the other girl and that by now she no longer feels any wish to approach you anymore. Or she feels it would be unfair, or too late, for her to approach you because she saw you moved on. But since she made it clear she doesnt want you to approach her anymore there is nothing you can do but keep moving on. Only thing you can do is perhaps somehow let it be known to her that you'd be willing to listen to her if she approaches you, if you havent done so already before you stopped contacting her.
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) Because it's quite possible it was merely a reaction to seeing you with the other girl and that by now she no longer feels any wish to approach you anymore. Or she feels it would be unfair, or too late, for her to approach you because she saw you moved on. But since she made it clear she doesnt want you to approach her anymore there is nothing you can do but keep moving on. Only thing you can do is perhaps somehow let it be known to her that you'd be willing to listen to her if she approaches you, if you havent done so already before you stopped contacting her. Yeah who knows with her. Last time we communicated she said stuff like "can you please stop contacting me. Do it for me please.", "I am begging you please to stop", "this isn't fair to me", she made it out like I was being rude. Why? The day before this she told me she still cared for me and other nice stuff. All I wanted was to see her one last time face to face to get final closure but everytime I mention this she either gets mad or ends the convo. She says I am not listening to her, but never explans to me what I am supposed to be listening too. It's kind of ironic a week later she sees me with another girl when she can't face me face to face. Funny how fate works. Edited October 6, 2011 by YouNeverKnow86
Glove_slap Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Haha, well she got owned. Forget your ex, focus on the new girl. It's not worth looking back at something that isn't there anymore only to neglect what you have in front of you.
LoveNoob Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 but everytime I mention this she either gets mad or ends the convo. She says I am not listening to her, but never explans to me what I am supposed to be listening too. . Holy shizkabob! I feel you dude Do you know if she ever mentioned anything about wanting to stay friends before she started to tell you to "STFU" ?
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 (edited) Holy shizkabob! I feel you dude Do you know if she ever mentioned anything about wanting to stay friends before she started to tell you to "STFU" ? Yeah she told me once "isn't that part of the plan, I don't understand what is the problem" when I mentioned the friends thing. So we did limited contact for about a week but she was still being cold and distant so it pissed me off. We got into a little argument and didn't talk. Then we texted and I told her when she is ready to be friends we can. She then said she won't forget that and I told her when she is ready to meet up get in contact with me and she also said she wouldn't forget that. Anytime I ask why we she can't meet up with me though she always ended the convo and said she had to go (trying to avoid that topic). So reverse back to the last time we communicated and I pretty much laid it into her that I didn't get why she couldn't give me closure and meet me face to face and that is when she went into the "STFU" tantrum (saying I was making her nervous, uncomfortable, scared etc.....seeming like I was the bad guy and she was trying to be nice and I wasn't being fair to her). So she went from wanting to be friends, to saying she will contact me when she wants to be friends, to no more contact and acting like she is pissed all in a 2 week period. Makes very little sense to me. Edited October 7, 2011 by YouNeverKnow86
LoveNoob Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Yeah she told me once "isn't that part of the plan, I don't understand what is the problem" when I mentioned the friends thing. So we did limited contact for about a week but she was still being cold and distant so it pissed me off. We got into a little argument and didn't talk. Then we texted and I told her when she is ready to be friends we can. She then said she won't forget that and I told her when she is ready to meet up get in contact with me and she also said she wouldn't forget that. Anytime I ask why we she can't meet up with me though she always ended the convo and said she had to go (trying to avoid that topic). So reverse back to the last time we communicated and I pretty much laid it into her that I didn't get why she couldn't give me closure and meet me face to face and that is when she went into the "STFU" tantrum (saying I was making her nervous, uncomfortable, scared etc.....seeming like I was the bad guy and she was trying to be nice and I wasn't being fair to her). So she went from wanting to be friends, to saying she will contact me when she wants to be friends, to no more contact and acting like she is pissed all in a 2 week period. Makes very little sense to me. Definately weird, and oddly enough it's the same as my situation. She broke up, wanted to be friends, tried that, she got cold/grumpy at me trying to get her back, i pulled back and treated her like a normal friend, she got upset because she still wanted my attention/love, i came back, she was pleasant and warm for a week or two, she got cold/grumpy at me again after a while, i pulled back again, and now i have no idea what's going on because she's barely online the past 2-3 weeks and i stopped chasing her. (90% of communication post-break-up was through MSN because of the distance). Anyway, in your case it could be she wanted to approach you as a friend but felt awkward seeing you with another girl, or maybe it was too early for her. Infact it could be she at that moment realised she isnt completely over you. I also learned that girls can feel hurt and worthless when they see you get over her, before she gets over you. They dont want you to move on to other girls yet because it hurts their ego, but they also dont want you to express your feelings to them because it makes them feel guilty for breaking up with you. (*) *: Just my experience so far the past 10 years, i in no way wish to insult or generalise all you lovely gals out there.
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 (edited) Definately weird, and oddly enough it's the same as my situation. She broke up, wanted to be friends, tried that, she got cold/grumpy at me trying to get her back, i pulled back and treated her like a normal friend, she got upset because she still wanted my attention/love, i came back, she was pleasant and warm for a week or two, she got cold/grumpy at me again after a while, i pulled back again, and now i have no idea what's going on because she's barely online the past 2-3 weeks and i stopped chasing her. (90% of communication post-break-up was through MSN because of the distance). Anyway, in your case it could be she wanted to approach you as a friend but felt awkward seeing you with another girl, or maybe it was too early for her. Infact it could be she at that moment realised she isnt completely over you. I also learned that girls can feel hurt and worthless when they see you get over her, before she gets over you. They dont want you to move on to other girls yet because it hurts their ego, but they also dont want you to express your feelings to them because it makes them feel guilty for breaking up with you. (*) *: Just my experience so far the past 10 years, i in no way wish to insult or generalise all you lovely gals out there. Yeah about 85 percent of our communication has been through texting since the breakup and pretty much all of it was initiated by me besides the one time she apologized for flipping out on me. It's weird but how she has been acting throughout this ordeal makes it seem like I was the dumper and her the dumpee. Just how she went so cold and distant right after the breakup and how she is acting now. I know we are not getting back together and I accept this now so I sent her a text yesterday and it was short. I know I went against her "please no more contact" wishes but I feel like if there will ever be friendship down the road this was a good text. Let me know what you think, I sent the following: "Just saying hi. I know you are not going to respond but I hope all is well with you and you are enjoying school" It's really not about gaining power but about being the better person. I think once she cools down she will realize how much I truly cared for her and I think a text like that will go a long way down the road. You never know I may see her out again this weekend.........Even though I think she will avoid those places for the time being. Edited October 7, 2011 by YouNeverKnow86
LoveNoob Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 I think i would have left out the "i know you will not respond" part, no need to put any focus on that.
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 I think i would have left out the "i know you will not respond" part, no need to put any focus on that. Yeah you are right, but I did it so it would make her think how selfish she is being.
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