clerm27 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) GF and I broke up a few months ago, (almost three to be exact), now we didn't date long, and I was her first ever real boyfriend, so you can see where it would have ended. We had one fight in our three months of dating, and stupid as I was then, I got scared and didn't really try to fix things. Basically she ended things (over a text message btw, cold), and it didn't really seem like grounds to break up when all we had to do was sit down with each other and talk. The entire time we were dating everything was great from what I remember, we didn't fight, got along, saw each other a lot. I was taking a few classes at the time so my funds were low, so I never got the chance to buy her flowers and sweet little gifts which is what I would have liked to do. Anyways, we break up, I talked to her a few days later and I will admit, acted very weak, which she shot away and was rather rude about it. Few more weeks pass, I write her a very sincere letter explaining everything, how horrible I felt, the fact I wish I had treatd her better, it was a very genuine and sincere, and she adored it, and commented how sweet it was several times. Things looked like they were going to be resolved then there was a family crisis that involved her, and I won't go into detail to protect her, but it was traumatic at the time. Luckily I was with her that night and was able to stay with her and comfort her, which again she appreciated. Our contact was limited since then, as I told her I understood where here head was at. Anyways, today we talked, and the conversation ended up going somewhere it shouldnt have, talking about us. But again, all I want is her. And I don't know what else I can do... I realize now three months later that I got scard in our relationship because I was starting to fall in love with her, which is new for me. (I'm only 21 btw). Any tips or advice? She explained she didn't want to stay friends because she doesn't want to lead me on or hurt me, but at the same time explained that she didn't want to lose me. Again, I'll admit to appearing a little weak, telling her I still liked and cared for her a lot. Is this a lost cause? Edited October 6, 2011 by clerm27
silly_panda Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Do you know her relationship history..? Have she dated other guy before..? And what makes you think/feel that you are her first real boyfriend..? Sorry for asking...
Author clerm27 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) Do you know her relationship history..? Have she dated other guy before..? And what makes you think/feel that you are her first real boyfriend..? Sorry for asking... No, it's a fair question. She told me herself numerous times that having a boyfriend was new for her because she had very limited dating history. She was also a virgin going into the relationship. She admitted to being scared and defensive when it came to having a boyfriend, because it was a new experience. This is also a girl who has very limited social life. She only really has two close friends, and then myself who she talks too. The other two being girls who she's known her entire life. Edited October 6, 2011 by clerm27
silly_panda Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I think you are dealing with a girl who is confused and do not really know what she wants... And also insecure... Maybe it's best to just ask her what she really wants between the two of you... Don't waste each other's time... Also set boundaries... You are not her boyfriend anymore, she can't expect you to always be there when she needs you... Get yourself back and don't be weak anymore...
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