azsinglegal Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I'm being told by SEVERAL friends that the reason I'm still single is because I don't give BJs whenever my man wants them or just "on a whim" to take care of him. Why is this a requirement? I honestly don't like doing it and I don't like it being expected of me. I've never been with a man who gets me off just "on a whim" or to "take care of me". Am I doomed to being single forever now?
Eddie Edirol Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Most men I know like BJ's, and will give you oral on a whim in return, if thats what you want. But if you refuse to enjoy it, or do it for a guy you really like, and explain to him that you only do it because youre into him and you dont really enjoy it, then you might have a hard time keeping guys that really like BJ's. There are guys who dont care about BJ's out there, I am one of them, you just have to find them. What other sexual acts are you eliminating from your arsenal?
Author azsinglegal Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 Most men I know like BJ's, and will give you oral on a whim in return, if thats what you want. But if you refuse to enjoy it, or do it for a guy you really like, and explain to him that you only do it because youre into him and you dont really enjoy it, then you might have a hard time keeping guys that really like BJ's. There are guys who dont care about BJ's out there, I am one of them, you just have to find them. What other sexual acts are you eliminating from your arsenal? The guy I'm dating now asks for them all the time, it's starting to really piss me off. I've done it a few times but it's ALL he asks for and doesn't reciprocate. I'm not eliminating anything except a few things, scat, atm, bukake, facials, and golden showers. I'm pretty open sexually...
Sanman Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I love oral and some of my gfs are willing to oblige me as I am very willing to return the favor and have been told I do a great job. More importantly, I enjoy exploring sex with a partner and don't want to be limited to an hour of missionary sex every time we become intimate. There are guys who care about oral and those that do not. However, the attitude is also an issue. You are being selfish and the guys are apparently with are being so as well. Not that this is necessarily you, but the only gf that refused me was selfish in many other ways as well in our relationship and that caused me to end the relationship (ex. she didn't like hanging out with my friends, so she didn't do that either).
Sanman Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 The guy I'm dating now asks for them all the time, it's starting to really piss me off. I've done it a few times but it's ALL he asks for and doesn't reciprocate. I'm not eliminating anything except a few things, scat, atm, bukake, facials, and golden showers. I'm pretty open sexually... Then tell him to return the favor or he isn't getting any from you!
Author azsinglegal Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 I love oral and some of my gfs are willing to oblige me as I am very willing to return the favor and have been told I do a great job. More importantly, I enjoy exploring sex with a partner and don't want to be limited to an hour of missionary sex every time we become intimate. There are guys who care about oral and those that do not. However, the attitude is also an issue. You are being selfish and the guys are apparently with are being so as well. Not that this is necessarily you, but the only gf that refused me was selfish in many other ways as well in our relationship and that caused me to end the relationship (ex. she didn't like hanging out with my friends, so she didn't do that either). I'm actually NOT selfish at all. I do alot of things for him and don't hold him back from doing anything based soley on my terms. I'm always accomodating and compromising, just not in this case. I don't like it. I don't know what else to say. But I'm starting to believe that if I don't "take care of him whenever he wants" I really will be forever single as men look for a woman who will do this (or whatever sexually) on his terms. By limiting myself, I'm cutting myself off from anything long term.
Jynxx Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 People you date ask for it? In what trailerpark did you meet those people? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting a BJ as much as the next guy, but asking for it just seems awkward. It would be like asking people to buy you something for your birthday.
dispatch3d Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Well when you put it like that, it absolutely is a requirement. Also, where is this going? Why are we friends? Something is missing here!!!
Sanman Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I'm actually NOT selfish at all. I do alot of things for him and don't hold him back from doing anything based soley on my terms. I'm always accomodating and compromising, just not in this case. I don't like it. I don't know what else to say. But I'm starting to believe that if I don't "take care of him whenever he wants" I really will be forever single as men look for a woman who will do this (or whatever sexually) on his terms. By limiting myself, I'm cutting myself off from anything long term. Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who has such a selfish mentality that things need to be on his terms? Or would you rather weed those guys out and choose from a smaller group of guys that are willing to put more effort/compromise in a relationship?
Feelin Frisky Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Yes, it's a requirement with me. Making little sacrifices for each other is part of a loving relationship. I'm not a demanding guy who insists on cumming in her mouth or having her swallow it however. I don't need that at all. But I want spontaneity, enthusiasm and willingness to please in ways that I instruct--which I know to be decent and fair. I offer the same. A boundary like no head just because she "doesn't care for it" is a deal-breaker. Word. I've done it.
Sanman Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 People you date ask for it? In what trailerpark did you meet those people? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting a BJ as much as the next guy, but asking for it just seems awkward. It would be like asking people to buy you something for your birthday. What if you are asking for a birthday BJ? Is that just twice as awkward?
Author azsinglegal Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who has such a selfish mentality that things need to be on his terms? Or would you rather weed those guys out and choose from a smaller group of guys that are willing to put more effort/compromise in a relationship? My dating pool can't get any smaller. It's a wading pool really.
aj22one Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I'm being told by SEVERAL friends that the reason I'm still single is because I don't give BJs whenever my man wants them or just "on a whim" to take care of him. Why is this a requirement? I honestly don't like doing it and I don't like it being expected of me. I've never been with a man who gets me off just "on a whim" or to "take care of me". Am I doomed to being single forever now? I highly doubt that's what keeping you single. Some guys don't like BJs. Those guys are in the minority though so they're harder to find. But as long as you aren't requiring that he give you oral sex, I really don't see your position as inherently wrong it's just a personal preference.
Pierre Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I'm being told by SEVERAL friends that the reason I'm still single is because I don't give BJs whenever my man wants them or just "on a whim" to take care of him. Why is this a requirement? I honestly don't like doing it and I don't like it being expected of me. I've never been with a man who gets me off just "on a whim" or to "take care of me". Am I doomed to being single forever now? I have never asked for a BJ. I believe the vagina gives me a much better orgasm. However, I truly enjoy giving oral sex. My ex wife was so orgasmic that all she needed was 30 seconds to reach orgasm. I often wished she would last more so I could enjoy it more. I have received BJs when the women insisted, but I can take them or leave them.
Author azsinglegal Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 I have never asked for a BJ. I believe the vagina gives me a much better orgasm. However, I truly enjoy giving oral sex. My ex wife was so orgasmic that all she needed was 30 seconds to reach orgasm. I often wished she would last more so I could enjoy it more. I have received BJs when the women insisted, but I can take them or leave them. I must find the ONLY guys who complain that I don't do it...or don't do it enough or something of the like. I'd have to say that's always been the biggest complaint in every relationship. I don't just "take care of them". I'm a fantastic cook tho, and I'm very neat, I don't nag or bitch, I'm not bossy or rude, I'm not demanding...but I don't give BJs enough. Huh. LOL
AHardDaysNight Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I've never received a blowjob, so I can't comment on whether or not it's a dealbreaker. But I can say that the idea of a girl's mouth around my hard cock, going in and out of her mouth, is something that turns me on.
Pierre Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I must find the ONLY guys who complain that I don't do it...or don't do it enough or something of the like. I'd have to say that's always been the biggest complaint in every relationship. I don't just "take care of them". I'm a fantastic cook tho, and I'm very neat, I don't nag or bitch, I'm not bossy or rude, I'm not demanding...but I don't give BJs enough. Huh. LOL The big question is: Why would a man enjoy the BJ if his partner is not into it. I could not experience a high degree of pleasure if the woman is doing it with no enjoyment to herself. There are many more ways to have fun in bed. Maybe these men lack imagination.
D-Lish Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Why is this a requirement? I honestly don't like doing it and I don't like it being expected of me. I've never been with a man who gets me off just "on a whim" or to "take care of me". Am I doomed to being single forever now? I have been with several men that make a habit of pleasing me on a whim and I'm the same way. I love to initiate and reciprocate. I love giving BJ's when I'm in a relationship with someone- even on a whim. No, it's not a requirement or something you should feel obligated to do- but to me, a relationship is better when both parties are generous lovers.
Pierre Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I get much more when I provide the pleasure. As good as the oral cavity may be the vagina does a better job.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I get much more when I provide the pleasure. As good as the oral cavity may be the vagina does a better job. Like I said, it's psychological. Seeing a pretty face going down on my dick is hotter than the idea of regular sex. I have no clue on how it'll feel, though. Like I've said before, I'm a complete virgin.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 The guy I'm dating now asks for them all the time, it's starting to really piss me off. I've done it a few times but it's ALL he asks for and doesn't reciprocate. I'm not eliminating anything except a few things, scat, atm, bukake, facials, and golden showers. I'm pretty open sexually... If hes not reciprocating, thats your leverage. Tell him you need satisfaction if he wants it. Thats all. What happened when you told him that you want oral as well?
phineas Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 GOOD oral sex is a requirement. I love performing oral. I can tounge press a water melon. I need a woman that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Nothing annoys me more than me going down a on a woman, giving her an orgasm then her idea of returning the favor is 5 mins. then telling me her jaw hurts. My heart ain't into it any more & things will go down hill real fast.
laotzu Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 As a man, I really, really want it. And additionally, I always make sure to reciprocate - which is something I really, really enjoy doing. If oral sex isn't part of the relationship, I'm not interested in the relationship.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Refusing to give or receive oral is like saying there is a part of their (or your) body you find disgusting. I enjoy making love to my partner's entire body, and vice versa. Every inch of it. But I'm single... so what does all the above mean? ...only that the person who is right for you will share YOUR feelings on these things... (and same for me).
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