How to pick between two guys?

[WifeinWaiting]

Hello! This problem is really killing me and Im scared I will make the wrong choice. I just dont know what to do.

 

I dated this guy, Scott, a year and a half ago. I was more in love with this guy than anyone I have ever met. I didn't just love him, I adored him. He was extremly passionate, which was good and bad. His emotions are always through the roof. When hes happy, hes bouncing off the walls. When hes sad, hes not afraid to cry. When hes angry, he can get scary (he would never physically hurt me tho), and best of all, when hes in love HES IN LOVE. Which is what I LOVED about him. He told me I was beautiful every day, not just beautful but gorgous. He would get teary eyed just telling me what I meant to him and how Ive changed his life. He was an excellent kisser and excellent in the bedroom. After 9 months, he broke up with me. I had went to a club with my friends, fighting him the whole time. I wanted to go, I didnt want to find anyone, I wanted to marry Scott. I just didnt want to be the only one NOT going. Anyway, he started assuming I was seeing someone else (i really wasnt), and he said he was protecting himself from being cheated on and left me.

 

I begged for a month and cried and was the most depressed of my life for a month after that.

 

Then I met Ivan. He is so sweet and kind. He is the exact opposite of Scott when it comes to emotions. Hes pretty one note. Dont get that excited about much, never cries, doesnt get angry easy, isnt that passionate and romantic, but so nice. So sweet. Hes like the strong silent type. We have a lot in common, enjoy a lot of the same things. Hes so easy to talk to (unlike Scott who was very opinionated) and easy to get along with. I dont find him as attractive, although he is cute. Hes not much in the kissing department or the bedroom either. I have tried to teach but hes just kinda awkward.

 

But he would never hurt me. Never leave me. He would quietly protect me.

 

Scott never really left my thoughts, but its not like I thought about him every second of every day. We kept in contact, maybe checked in once a month. When he txt me Id get excited. He knew I was seeing someone and he started seeing someone too. It hurt when I found out and I couldn't understand why.

 

Now, over a year later, Scott decided he wants me back. Says hes never loved anyone like me and he was stupid for leaving. He made a mistake, he jumped to conclusions and was trying to keep himself from being cheated on again like the other girls have done him.

 

I am tempted, but when I weigh them both it comes out about even. Or does it?

 

Scott lives in a little apartment and has to take care of his mother who is drunk half the time. He works in a factory and doesnt have much, but he works hard. He loves me but now Im scared of him because he hurt me. He has a temper I hate as well. But I love looking at him, and hes very passionate with me.

 

Ivan has his own house and lives by himself. He has a nice career and is going back to school, hes worked hard and has a lot to show for it. He loves me too and hes easy to talk to and is my best friend. He makes me feel secure. Theres not really much passion tho.

 

So which is it? Security? or Passion?

[Mutant Debutante]

Neither. Scott overreacts and is unstable, and you don't really like Ivan, you're just kinda using him for security. Both = uncool. You sound pretty young and you don't know what love is, you should take it easy and be alone for a while. Actually this post made me wonder if it was one of the resident misogynist trolls pretending to be some stereotype.

[kodax]

Neither. Scott overreacts and is unstable, and you don't really like Ivan, you're just kinda using him for security. Both = uncool. You sound pretty young and you don't know what love is, you should take it easy and be alone for a while. Actually this post made me wonder if it was one of the resident misogynist trolls pretending to be some stereotype.

 

Nailed it. This isn't an either/or situation.