momto3boys Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 My husband told me he wants a divorce about a month ago. I moved home almost 2 weeks ago (6 hours away). I have done LC (we have a child together bout to have a 2nd child together). If i dont call him or answer his calls or emails he questions who i am with, what i have done with what guy, etc. He says theres too much crap wrong in the marriage or it to work, but honestly the only problem we have is that he has mental issues from being deployed and i do not get a long with his family. So compared to some marriages our problems arent really THAT bad. I feel tugged back and forth. Id like to work things out because we are gonna have a baby in 5 weeks and the issues arent even that bad, they're fixable. He acts like he wants to work things out sometimes, but then if i bring it up again the next day after he says something about it then he dodges the question. He is so wishy washy. I am really over it. I either wanna take a break and fix ourselves and then try to fix things or i want to be able to act as if im 100% single (well separated). I am sick of feeling tugged back and forth. Why is he doing this?
Mar1neOne Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 My husband told me he wants a divorce about a month ago. I moved home almost 2 weeks ago (6 hours away). I have done LC (we have a child together bout to have a 2nd child together). If i dont call him or answer his calls or emails he questions who i am with, what i have done with what guy, etc. He says theres too much crap wrong in the marriage or it to work, but honestly the only problem we have is that he has mental issues from being deployed and i do not get a long with his family. So compared to some marriages our problems arent really THAT bad. I feel tugged back and forth. Id like to work things out because we are gonna have a baby in 5 weeks and the issues arent even that bad, they're fixable. He acts like he wants to work things out sometimes, but then if i bring it up again the next day after he says something about it then he dodges the question. He is so wishy washy. I am really over it. I either wanna take a break and fix ourselves and then try to fix things or i want to be able to act as if im 100% single (well separated). I am sick of feeling tugged back and forth. Why is he doing this? Sounds like he is screwing around or has been in the past. Just my opinion.
carhill Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Without the benefit of therapy, I probably would have done similar things during our D, essentially being emotionally erratic and unfocused. My sympathies for what you're going through, especially nine months pregnant. I hope you have a support network of family and friends to help you. My only advice, and I recall a two-year period prior to my EA when my now exW was acting just like your H, is to accept it and not take it to heart one way or another. Focus on staying healthy for yourself and the baby and trust that he'll work his stuff out on his own. If he brings it to your doorstep, turn him away. No time for that stuff now. Maybe later.
Author momto3boys Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 Well weird thing is he accuses me of doing all this crap with other men, but yet 2 days after he said he wants a divorce he had a bunch of girls on his facebook and was already calling girls. Then a week later he was on dating websites. So i have just left him a lone. i did tell him that i know i deserve better than this and to just stay out of my personal life. Im really over it and honestly i dont think i am in love with him anymore because of how he has been acting this past month, specially while im pregnant. Im really just over it and wish he'd stay out of my personal life.
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