FeelingSmall Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Ex picked up the last of his things yesterday... I left them out in the pouring rain (in a sealed garbage bag) and waited until I saw him walking up the street before heading back into my apartment... He didn't try to ring my buzzer or talk to me which, kinda made me feel even more crappy. I was later talking to a friend on skype about it and he said that I was being an A**hole and he wouldn't have attempted to talk to me either. After thinking about it I agreed that leaving his stuff outside rather than in the entrance was a d*** move, also by not being seen at all it made it look as if I had just left his belongings outside for anyone to take... And now for the stupid... I sent him a quick email that just stated that I had been watching his things until i saw him walking down the street but, left as I couldn't stomach seeing/talking to him, that I was sorry for that, then told him to have a nice life, goodbye and good luck. He replied telling me he had had a very busy week but he had a chance to think about a lot of things and had much to say to me. That hopefully he'd get an opportunity to email me this afternoon. Oh dear god, i should have left it alone. My stomach is twisted in knots right now. I just started feeling better about things. So so so dumb, I know he's going to just rip me a new one. I know he's just going to tear me apart again. I did reply to him saying that I didn't think i wanted to hear it and I'd rather just quietly disappear from one another but, I doubt that's going to stop him and I won't have the self control to not open that poison email. Someone smack me.
HollyHoliday Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Hey FeelingSmall: While maybe you didn't handle it the textbook way, having to give your ex their stuff back is never a comfortable situation. I don't even think that there is a right way to do it. Regardless, there is so much that you did right. You didn't burn it, you didn't use it as an opportunity to re initiate a fight. Whats done is done, and there are much worse things than leaving his stuff out on the street in a sealed garbage bag. Take lightly whatever he has to say to you. You are obviously expecting the worst. If you skim through it and realize that it is going to be negative and hurtful, just delete it instantly. That way, YOU have the control over his impact on you. Don't let him dictate when and where he gets to say his piece. You aren't together anymore, so he doesn't get that say.
Author FeelingSmall Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 Hey FeelingSmall: While maybe you didn't handle it the textbook way, having to give your ex their stuff back is never a comfortable situation. I don't even think that there is a right way to do it. Regardless, there is so much that you did right. You didn't burn it, you didn't use it as an opportunity to re initiate a fight. Whats done is done, and there are much worse things than leaving his stuff out on the street in a sealed garbage bag. Take lightly whatever he has to say to you. You are obviously expecting the worst. If you skim through it and realize that it is going to be negative and hurtful, just delete it instantly. That way, YOU have the control over his impact on you. Don't let him dictate when and where he gets to say his piece. You aren't together anymore, so he doesn't get that say. Thank you, I'm scared to read it, and actually just asked my neighbour if she would mind reading it beforehand (If it even comes). Blah, I wish I had never sent the stupid email to begin with. Hindsight is always 20/20. Yes, I could have done many horrible things but, what I did do was still crappy. Oh well, what's done is done, like you said. I just hate that, even if just a little, I made myself the villain. Just gave him a reason to say something nasty to me. Then to further provoke him, sent an email. Why the second after you do things can you see clearly? Literally the second after you pass the point of no return? Sheesh. The thing is even if he has nothing but positive words I don't want to hear them. I just want him to disappear now. I just didn't want him to disappear thinking that I was a spiteful, nasty, a-hole. I don't think it would be fair after everything for him to walk away going "Wow, glad I dodged a bullet with that chick." Am I making any sense? In my head it works but, my judgement has been lacking lately. Obviouly...
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