I'm sabotaging my relationship!

[azsinglegal]

I realized I'm sabotaging my relationship. Been dating 6 months, things were great but the longer we are together, the more needy and insecure I become.

 

Every time I turn around I think he's going to break up with me. His behavior has only changed based on ME changing.

 

How do I stop being so self destructive?

 

I'm 100% sure it's because my past relationships have all failed, I'm a single, 38 yr old woman, no kids but a successful career. I really want to get married and have a life with someone so the longer we're together - the more desperate I become to keep them.

 

It's driving my current man away!

[KathyM]

I realized I'm sabotaging my relationship. Been dating 6 months, things were great but the longer we are together, the more needy and insecure I become.

 

Every time I turn around I think he's going to break up with me. His behavior has only changed based on ME changing.

 

How do I stop being so self destructive?

 

I'm 100% sure it's because my past relationships have all failed, I'm a single, 38 yr old woman, no kids but a successful career. I really want to get married and have a life with someone so the longer we're together - the more desperate I become to keep them.

 

It's driving my current man away![/quote

If you realize the problem and the consequences, they why continue to do it? Force yourself to give him the appropriate space. If you are needy and insecure, I imagine that is why your past relationships have failed as well. You need to develop the mindset that you don't need a man to have a good life. Sure, it would be nice to have one, but you are perfectly capable of having a great life all on your own. As soon as you see men as an asset to an allready fulfilling life and don't define yourself because of a man, the sooner you will put that relationship into the proper perspective. I would suggest you see a counselor to help you with your insecurity issues before they cause you to lose this guy.

[azsinglegal]

I just realized this morning what I was doing. I'm hoping I haven't caused irreparable damage to our relationship already.

 

I've read several relationship books, but it didn't HIT me until I was driving to work how I was screwing up. And that it's the SAME THING I've done in all my relationships.

 

Besides, I get lazy and quit trying, quit feeding his ego and just plain out expect him to be with me cuz we're "together" but don't make any effort like I did in the beginning.

[KathyM]

I just realized this morning what I was doing. I'm hoping I haven't caused irreparable damage to our relationship already.

 

I've read several relationship books, but it didn't HIT me until I was driving to work how I was screwing up. And that it's the SAME THING I've done in all my relationships.

 

Besides, I get lazy and quit trying, quit feeding his ego and just plain out expect him to be with me cuz we're "together" but don't make any effort like I did in the beginning.

I'm glad you had some realization now of what the problem is. So now you can fix it. And I'd suggest you start making more of an effort, because relationships take work, and they take effort. The moment you stop working on it and start taking it for granted, the moment it starts to go downhill.