JustEmptyInside Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Alright, maybe absolute dread is a little harsh, but close. I think that I've been doing better lately since my new years dumping - but for some reason now that October is here, days getting shorter and colder, seasonal holiday crap starting to get thrown in your face - it really hit me the last few days. I used to look forward to this time of year with the ex, with family, friends. But the last few days have felt like it was 8 months ago, with a knot in my stomach all day and the depression creeping in. Just wondering how other people cope with this time of year. I think the worst part for me is just being single. Going to friends parties alone, always being the only single guy around (at my age pretty much all my friends are married or in LTR's). Sure it keeps your mind occupied for a while, but I'm still going home to the same dark house. So any ideas or thoughts? Any unique ideas for meeting someone around the holidays?
HollyHoliday Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 The holidays are a great time to meet people! They are also a great time to get your priorities straight and realize what is actually important in your life. If you are lucky enough to have great friends and family close by, try and spend as much time with them as possible. Maybe even go out of your comfort zone and have your OWN party, so you can be the host and not have the be the "single guy". Tell your friends to bring people, and who knows who you will meet!
Thieves Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Just wondering how other people cope with this time of year. I think the worst part for me is just being single. Going to friends parties alone, always being the only single guy around (at my age pretty much all my friends are married or in LTR's). Sure it keeps your mind occupied for a while, but I'm still going home to the same dark house. You know, I thought I would dread it too, but surprisingly... I'm not. At least not yet! I think it's because I already went through a crappy holiday season last year where I was unemployed, my living situation was not good, the ex wasn't speaking to me (before I really started NC), fell out with some friends. So I was not the epitome of joy and probably would've punched anyone in the face who tried to offer me a cup of Christmas cheer. But things have gotten so much better since then, and I'm actually looking forward to the holidays. Looking forward to cuddling up in my favorite bookstore with hot chocolate, shopping for friends, parties, etc. Even if I don't end up having someone special to spend it with, I'll still have friends and my family, so that's pretty much my life saver right there. Some people don't even have that. Another coping thing I was thinking about is doing some volunteer work during the holidays, sort of get the focus off me and being single and onto people who actually need the attention.
mike111 Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 For me (and I must be a total odd-ball) the holiday season is the best time of year. I just love it no matter what. I do the whole put up lights thing and buying gifts thing. While everyone else is cursing it, I am just loving it. I know...........weird.........
january2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Last year, I found LS, so that kept my mind off things. Booked lots of social activities in the lead up to fill up my time. Actual days were quiet but that was a relief in a way because I had time to contemplate and review without the pressure of being sociable. This coming season, might or might not be a quiet one depending on family schedules. I'm planning to see in New Year with a bang though. And did I mention that I love Christmas and all the trimmings?
Author JustEmptyInside Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 Well - at least I can hope to be in the same place some of you are eventually, I know it has to pass at some point. Been doing the volunteer thing on and off (that's part of what got me through last January-February), so that will be one distraction.
PositiveNegative Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 The holiday season could be quite hard for me... my birthday is next month also. Thing I keep thinking about is the Christmas card my ex gave me talking about how that Christmas would be "Our first of many". Bloody liar.... I do have a fond memory of being with my ex and walking around the city dressed up because we had just gone to her father's wedding. The cold was just setting in and Christmas decorations were just going up and these brass bands were playing Christmas tunes then we ended up in a cafe watching a acoustic trio play while playing scrabble. Now some joker she just met will be doing the same crap with her. Wait. On the other hand this could be very hard.
HollyHoliday Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I will say that I am a little worried about how I will do on New Years, just because of the whole kissing couples at midnight thing. I probably won't even do anything!
mike111 Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 (edited) I will say that I am a little worried about how I will do on New Years, just because of the whole kissing couples at midnight thing. I probably won't even do anything! If you can't do anything, then maybe get a movie watch it and go to bed early. The very next day, get up early (while everyone is still in bed sick as a dog) and go for a nice brisk walk. Remember, it's just a day. We sometimes tend to make more of these holidays than they really are. Edited October 6, 2011 by mike111 spelling
dicky_fish Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Yup put me down for dread. This was going to be our first proper Christmas together rather than the usual visits sometime around the 28th December. We were going to be spending Christmas with her family then travel up to my parents for New Year cause my sister turns 21 then. I was really looking forward to my first Christmas morning waking up next to the one I loved the most. I can hear Last Christmas and Lonely This Christmas ringing around already...
Thieves Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I can hear Last Christmas and Lonely This Christmas ringing around already... Just shoot the jukebox whenever those songs come on and you should be good. Either that, or plug your ears. Sigh.
Buttercup84 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I think I might do something I never wanted to do : have a real Aussie Christmas. I hated having a hot Christmas but might just go to the beach . Our last Christmas was crap , our first was fun . New years eve will be **** , I have no plans . Think I'll just get a movie out . Sad to think he will be kissing someone else at midnight
antz2411 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 why would you dread for it to come? you should be thankful the people who wants to be in your life will be celebrating with you. those are the only ones who count, the ones who want to be involved with you.
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