EndOfMyWorld Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 How does one do this? My story is as painful as it is simple. In the end even with all the love there were just too many differences and needs not being met. It seems that the only way we were able to make things work was to give up parts of who we were and that is just not going to make things work. What started wonderfully always went back to being not so great after some time had passed. We've been on and off for a little while now and while it starts off great again, we just can't be happy with the changes needed to keep the relationship moving smooth. Even as things ended we were crying and telling each other how much we loved one another. It's very depressing knowing that even with all the love you feel for one another things still can't always work out... love just isn't enough. It's horribly depressing because we've spent half a decade together and have built our lives together. We own property together so moving right now is not as easy as it would be had we been renting or had other living arangements. All I know is I love her, I miss her, I don't want things to end, and I wish that things could be different.
Mar1neOne Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I truly feel for ya and I hate to say this, but if you are still in love then there is absolutely no way for you to live together and also move on. IMHO...
Author EndOfMyWorld Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 I didn't see much hope in it either. I'll try to limit contact and keep busy, but it's so hard to resist walking back into our old room and holding her. I know I need to step back and take care of myself but I also don't want to come off as mean or anything. She has been and still is the most important person to me. I want her to be happy and for both of us to heal, so I guess I just need to stay away. I just can't imagine not having her in my life. Even with all the incompatibility she still was and is the person I want to come home to every night, the person I want to hold every night when we go to bed, and the person I wanted to be able to spend the rest of my life with. I know logically that we just wern't a good match... but try telling that to my heart. It's almost like I need to turn off my emotions completely in order to manage.
Philosoraptor Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Keep to yourself and avoid all unnecessary contact. You're not doing this to hurt her, but to heal yourself. Not sure how much healing you can do while seeing each other every day, but you can at least keep your dignity and self respect. Responses need to be short and to the point and there shouldn't be any normal chit chat. Complete your household responsibilities and try to stay sane because your emotions are bound to be beaten around for awhile. Remember what you said, you two are not compatible and any further effort will be futile. You need to accept that this is how it has to be. Both of you will eventually find someone you are more compatible with and hopefully will find even better love. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 It takes 10 times longer for your to move on and heal while you are living together. I usually would say the same as the others and you should limit talking to each other and keep your responses short, but thats really hard to do while the breakup is still fresh. Also you dont want to be so cold to her that you have to watch her be more miserable, which will only make you more miserable, and then she winds up dating someone else while youre still living together, or at least before you do. That is the ultimate dagger. So I would advise to make it the least painful for both of you to establish some boundaries, stay kind and cordial like you were, and try to sell that property as soon as you can before she gets a hold of a rebound man.
Mack05 Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 How does one do this? My story is as painful as it is simple. In the end even with all the love there were just too many differences and needs not being met. It seems that the only way we were able to make things work was to give up parts of who we were and that is just not going to make things work. What started wonderfully always went back to being not so great after some time had passed. We've been on and off for a little while now and while it starts off great again, we just can't be happy with the changes needed to keep the relationship moving smooth. Even as things ended we were crying and telling each other how much we loved one another. It's very depressing knowing that even with all the love you feel for one another things still can't always work out... love just isn't enough. It's horribly depressing because we've spent half a decade together and have built our lives together. We own property together so moving right now is not as easy as it would be had we been renting or had other living arangements. All I know is I love her, I miss her, I don't want things to end, and I wish that things could be different. This is such a common reason for relationships ending. Sometimes a couple can meet and fall in love. After the honeymoon period you notice that changes need to be made to keep the relationship running smoothly. Sometimes couples can adapt, sometimes not. It's really sad when this happens and I feel for you mate. As you said sometimes love is not enough. Just try get the house situation sorted as quickly as you can...Then you can start the long process of healing 1
shortee143 Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I can only imagine how difficult this must be. I do not live with my ex, but I see him all the time as we have tons of the same friends, and go to his apartment (he lives with 2 of my close friends). It has def taking me much longer to heal, I am still trying to heal. I have found it best while being in so much contact with him, to say as little as possible. I am full of hurt, anger, etc...and he has moved on to a new girl. The less I think you say, the better. No need to get nasty (although, I admit it is hard for me to stay polite, but I do). It is really tough, and I feel for you on this one. Do the best you possibly can...you might be amazed at how much strength you have at the end of this all!
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