Glove_slap Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Especially if they left for GIGS soon after a long term relationship. (My ex left me after 3 years- we had internal issues but nothing we couldn't fix, we broke up after high school ended and she started dating an older guy(21-22) with a lot of money) He bought her everything and took her everywhere (has a car). They were about 7-8 months into their relationship when he got arrested for drug trafficking (along with my ex's best girlfriend that hooked them up) and she was dumbfounded and had no idea but she stayed with him. It's about a year and four months since we broke up and they've been together for about 14-15 months (got together a few weeks after we broke up). My question is why don't females come back? Is it because of the wide variety of options they have? (She's beautiful) Is it because they know they'll always be able to find a potential partner? (well when they're young that is)? Or is it just because most females are just programmed to learn from past mistakes and develop a deep understanding of what they seek in future partners? I won't take her back even if she did come back, she's too used to the lavish life style and it just wouldn't be the same after how she betrayed me but I just need some answers. I never got closure and even now that I'm over her I'm still seeking answers. Why don't women come back?
Cypress25 Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 She left the relationship because she was unhappy with you, so why would she come back to you?
Author Glove_slap Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 She left the relationship because she was unhappy with you, so why would she come back to you? Well, thank's for the reality I guess.
Ginger Beer Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I was thinking about this earlier and my opinion is that if you ever had the closeness of you two being completely 'connected' to each other and at that point where everything seems perfect (trying my best to explain the connection level but it's hard), you have the perfect bond, if you had this during your relationship, I think the women will come back if you go NC. I could be wrong but I do genuinely think this. If she never felt that intense bond with you I don't think she'll come back, not with good intentions anyway. I mean I guess she could give you breadcrumbs if she feels she needs an ego boost but not come back as in to try again. This is just what I think. Maybe a more experienced poster could help more.
grkBoy Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Glove_slap, I think she either simply didn't like being with you anymore and thus would rather be alone than with you... ...or.... ...she's embarrassed about leaving and feels ashamed. In any case, you said you wouldn't take her back anyway, so who cares? Do you just want the moment of seeing her "squirm" and laugh at her for leaving you? Sounds like you're not over her.
oaks Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I won't take her back even if she did come back, she's too used to the lavish life style and it just wouldn't be the same after how she betrayed me but I just need some answers. I never got closure and even now that I'm over her I'm still seeking answers. Why don't women come back? You're over her yet you need some answers? She left you 15+ months ago after a 3 year high school relationship. You really need to move on.
Author Glove_slap Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 well, we were first loves and I did genuinely care about this girl, i held her close to my heart and protected her as best as i could. sounds lame but yeah. I'm not in love with her anymore, it's just that I've been betrayed by many people and I never thought she was so capable of doing the same to me. Even if it was indirect and unintentional its still something that somewhat haunts me, especially since we just drifted apart without any explanation to as why. She just blamed the entire thing on me, now I know better but I just can't help think why? I want to learn the answers not to dwell on the past but to LEARN from them so I won't make the SAME mistakes in the future.
Author Glove_slap Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 What is GIGS? Grass is greener on the other side Syndrome (GIGS-GRASS IS GREENER SYNDROME) It's a debatable theory on human nature, that we always peer on to the other side of things (in this case relationships) and find that what we have are less than what others possess so we often leave what we have and jump the "fence" on the other side with hopes of a better life. Often we find that the other side isn't as great as we once thought and we realize that we've taken what we previously had as granted or in other cases we do find the grass to be greener and live happily ever after. There's a thread about it here on loveshack.
Wolf18 Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Women are like a light switch. Over night, they can switch you off and never put you back on again. One could use this as an argument that many women perhaps have less humanity than men. For American women , as long as they look decent and aren't obese, there's always a bigger and better deal around the corner. Even then though, I would still prefer a girl I've been with for 4 years over some girl whose much hotter that suddenly comes into my life. THere's no excuse that human nature causes grass is greener syndrome, its human stupidity, more often female than male. Better the dog you know than the one you don't know, I always say.
sumdude Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) Generally speaking once a woman is done with a man?... she's done. Just the way it is. Happened to me after almost 8 years and less than 2 years after the wedding. You can drive yourself nuts trying to understand it but just accept it and move on. Trying to put yourself in someone else's mind will only serve to make you crazy. Good news for you is? You're really young and hopefully learned a lot from the relationship. She's really young too and doesn't know what she wants yet so is either trying new things or just reacting to what's appearing before her. My advice? Meet more women. Take time to learn who they are. You'll find things you like a lot about each one and things you don;t like. At 43 I've learned that sometimes it's more important to know what you don't want than to think you know what you do want. Edited October 6, 2011 by sumdude
azsinglegal Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Why would you make someone a priority who only has you as an option?
AHardDaysNight Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Grass is greener on the other side Syndrome (GIGS-GRASS IS GREENER SYNDROME) It's a debatable theory on human nature, that we always peer on to the other side of things (in this case relationships) and find that what we have are less than what others possess so we often leave what we have and jump the "fence" on the other side with hopes of a better life. Often we find that the other side isn't as great as we once thought and we realize that we've taken what we previously had as granted or in other cases we do find the grass to be greener and live happily ever after. There's a thread about it here on loveshack. Oh, in that case... Either she's happy where she is now, or else she's humiliated and doesn't want to reveal that you were right all along. Either way, that's why she's not coming back.
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 ick, why would u want to date a girl whose into that?
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