abhi Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 generally i am a cool person..but i have a lot of PMS symptoms and i become irritable emotional tend to cry for silly reasons..if i have these symptoms...my husband becomes a monster with 3 times the symptoms i have..keeping me away..not speaking to me..not touching me or letting me touch..he starts acting as if i have a life threatening contagious disease..he is never supportive..this is the time i need his support and he is never there..if i try to explain he never understands..he reacts like a mad man even for normal situation..even when i am very calm during my PMS..we have had major fights during these times..whenever i try to explain he never listens to me..he acts sarcastic talks sarcastic..every 10 mins he has to remind me i have PMS in a very sarcastic way when infact i am just normal..and this reminding every 10 mins really ticks me off and i loose my temper many times... i dunno how to explain?? how to make him understand..coz whenever i try to even in a very slow calm manner we end up fighting..what should i do???
tinktronik Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Have you though of just not telling him when you have PMS?
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 this is the time i need his support and he is never there.. Huh? Sorry, but why do you need 'understanding and support' during your PMS? Don't mean to sound mean, but do what every woman does during that time. Take pills, rest, keep to yourself, sleep, workout, have a hot bath or whatever else makes you feel better.. But to expect to have your H's support and for him to be there for you during your PMS time .. Sorry again, but it's asking too much. it's PMS, not cancer or some deep dark illness. Now, your H IS being an ass, on purpose, needling you. He seems to be one of those men who thinks periods and stuff is gross which is why he stays away from you, doesn't want you to touch him etc.. Immature, uneducated about the cycle obviously, and he could make an effort to help you in the sense of doing stuff around the house, but for him to be there for you emotionally, that emotional support during pms is asking too much..
linwood Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I find it interesting that he's only a monster when you are PMSing. Could it possibly be that this is your hormonally skewed perception?
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 ..but i have a lot of PMS symptoms and i become irritable emotional tend to cry for silly reasons You should see a Dr about this, if it's this bad. There is medication to take to help control your hormones. Or does it just happen at home? How are you at work? Do you cry and are you sensitive at your job?
LittleTiger Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 You should see a Dr about this, if it's this bad. There is medication to take to help control your hormones. Or does it just happen at home? How are you at work? Do you cry and are you sensitive at your job? Actually there isn't - you can take synthetic hormones to sort out your hormones but they have fantastic side effects like weight gain and acne - which makes you feel sooo much better!!! The only answer is to vastly improve your diet - basically cut out rubbish and eat lots of fresh fruit and veg. I had severe PMS symptoms until I changed my diet in my 20s - now, provided I watch my diet, I just feel a bit low. OP if your husband is behaving as you describe (and it's not just your PMS perception) then you need to talk to him about it. Does he give you emotional support at other times when things aren't going well in your life? If not, then he's obviously not the sort to provide that kind of support - some men aren't. If he is normally supportive, then you need to have a heart to heart about what's going on. Perhaps he's phobic about periods (which, judging by his behaviour, is what it looks like), or perhaps his mother or sister were a nightmare to be around at this time of the month and it's a learned response. There could be lots of reasons. The only way you'll find out is to ask him - preferably when you're not PMSing.
Author abhi Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 normally he is very supportive and understanding..its only during my PMS he reacts very abnormally to normal situations as if he has PMS and not me..i will be cool and don't realize i have PMS until he acts like as ass and reminds me every 10mins that i have PMS..it is really pissing..
Eddie Edirol Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 normally he is very supportive and understanding..its only during my PMS he reacts very abnormally to normal situations as if he has PMS and not me..i will be cool and don't realize i have PMS until he acts like as ass and reminds me every 10mins that i have PMS..it is really pissing.. Since you are irrational and emotional and silly during your PMS, I can only assume that since youre married, he has already learned that there is no reasonable way to support you during that time. I can only assume that he has learned that when he tried to support you (probably initially), that you lashed out at him, and he learned that he cant help you that way. He probably learned that the best way to keep him from resenting you completely during your PMS is to stay away from you, because nothing else works. He cant keep trying to support you when it just leads to frustration. So if he is staying away from you, its probably best. If you want to talk to him about it, dont try to talk to him during your PMS, try any other time. If he doesnt want to talk about it, you have already driven him over the edge and he has decided that you are too unbearable during your PMS. If you want him to stop, then you have to control your irritability, silly emotional outbursts, and whatever else youre doing to cause him to be so frustrated with you. Dont focus on getting support from him, really, he cant help you during PMS. Youre moods swing, and he cant fix this, and as a man, theres no point in trying to support you if it doesnt work. Focus on trying to control your emotions. he will support you if you control your mood swings eventually. He will not change until you change.
Els Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Have you though of just not telling him when you have PMS? This might be worth a shot, you know. I used to tell my SO based on the advice I was given here... then I realized that he, not dealing exceedingly well with such things, instinctively withdrew a little perhaps out of apprehension. At any rate it does seem to go better when I am not telling him. Sometimes not even thinking about it helps. It's a little like pain - if you think about it too much, you start acting on it too and it gets worse. I don't think this automatically makes your H a bad person, although we all want someone to support us when we are emotionally down. And his reaction is a little extreme, if it is true. Is he supportive at other times, ie other troubles that you face?
Els Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Huh? Sorry, but why do you need 'understanding and support' during your PMS? Don't mean to sound mean, but do what every woman does during that time. Take pills, rest, keep to yourself, sleep, workout, have a hot bath or whatever else makes you feel better.. But to expect to have your H's support and for him to be there for you during your PMS time .. Sorry again, but it's asking too much. it's PMS, not cancer or some deep dark illness. Now, your H IS being an ass, on purpose, needling you. He seems to be one of those men who thinks periods and stuff is gross which is why he stays away from you, doesn't want you to touch him etc.. Immature, uneducated about the cycle obviously, and he could make an effort to help you in the sense of doing stuff around the house, but for him to be there for you emotionally, that emotional support during pms is asking too much.. Err, WWIUP, PMS is the hormonal fluctuations that occur in the two weeks preceding the period. It typically disappears once the period starts. What you're talking about is probably dysmenorrhea.
seibert253 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I find it interesting that he's only a monster when you are PMSing. Could it possibly be that this is your hormonally skewed perception? My thoughts also. My W doesn't think she's selfish, emotional, irrational, and downright MEAN when she's PMSing. I and just about every other close friend or relative of hers knows this to be untrue.
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