Jack1988 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I never thought id be here or doing something like this, but i need some views, help and advice please. Ok here we go. So i had been with my girflfriend for about a year and a half but just recently she has gone to university, she is still local but before we were practically living together at her familys house. On her first week of uni she asked me if we could not see eachother just for the week so she could get to know her new flat mates, i was cool with that at first but the week turned out harder than was first thought. I was on my own at home with my two dogs that week and my dad was on holiday, my eldest dog took a turn for the worst and i had to put her down on the wednesday night. I talked to her on the phone and she said she would come to see me but i was like, its ok dont worry about it as i was in shock..She also said that she couldnt really come over as it was only her and one other flat mate that she didnt want to leave at halls on their own (it was another girl)..So i was fine with that but a lil bitter.. Next night was student night in town so i decided to go surprise her in the club that she was going to be in, what i didnt know is that she had been and gone already. Anyway so i drank and drank and drank until i was so drunk that i started texting her really horrible texts, things that only i know would really hurt her. I woke up the next day and felt sick when i saw what i wrote. From then on it was over, i tried hard to say sorry etc etc etc but it was no use for a week or so. Eventually she started replying to my texts saying that she needed space to figure out what she wanted and stuff. I couldnt give her the space because i was scared of her deciding not to give me another chance so i ploughed away and eventually i stopped all the soppy pleading in texting and wrote her a letter and a poem, the letter explained all the things that i needed to change and for what reasons, the majority of our problems have come from me being drunk so i promised id stop, there were other things in the letter also that i needed to say. Long story short, the letter worked and she agreed that if i could prove all these things to her she would take me back and that she wanted to believe me. Now i can prove all these things and i will but it will take time, I have been texting her and shes been texting me, i managed to get 2 kisses at the end of a text a few times this week (little things mean alot between us) and shes been saying she wants me back but its going to take time and she wants to do it in baby steps..Then tonight she abruptly stop textin me. I asked her what was up (we text alot) she didnt get back to me for a few hours. Eventually i asked her if she was ok, she said to me that she feels like its getting back to normal too quick and that its weirding her out (we are usually very soppy and childish) and that its too quick and that she doesnt know what to do and that i need to stop with all the soppiness. Now im so confused. I said to her that ok ile stop with the soppiness and that im going to be patient and if you want me then you will be with me and that im going to stick to my promises and prove everything to her but after all that if she still cant decide whether you want me, ile have to find someone that will..Which she replied "okay". Now i plan to TRY and not text her from now on until she wants to contact me. Now i am desperate to get her back but im so confused and just dont know what else i can do :s
noel2 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 First off, its ok, none of us ever thought we'd go to complete strangers for advice. I have found that people usually say exactly what they mean when it comes to ending a relationship, otherwise, why would they risk losing you to someone else? I say, back off for a week and see if she contacts you, if she doesn't then I'd say she has moved on, but you know her, do you think she truly wants to be with you?
Author Jack1988 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 First off, its ok, none of us ever thought we'd go to complete strangers for advice. I have found that people usually say exactly what they mean when it comes to ending a relationship, otherwise, why would they risk losing you to someone else? I say, back off for a week and see if she contacts you, if she doesn't then I'd say she has moved on, but you know her, do you think she truly wants to be with you? Yeah i totally agree, im going to try and not contact her now..I know that she wants me deep as we agreed that we were going to get married and we were best friends, you know ment to be together etc etc. Its just the hard part of no contact, its so hard because our lives are so interlinked, i mean her dad is one of my best mates ya know, so i go around to see him and stuff, obviously shes not there but everything reminds me of her and i just want to tell her what im upto etc etc. I think one of the problems is some of her friends, the ones that know me and the ones that dont, my girlfriend is very influencable and im sure that they have been filling her head with rubbish, i went to see one of her closest work mates today with a peace offering of her favourite sweets, she gave me a hug and said "welle sort you out" But before today she had deleted my number and me off facebook. Thanks for the reply btw
Author Jack1988 Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 She wanted to see me yesterday as she was at home from uni for the night.. We had a emotional conversation about everything. She wants things to go back to normal and for everything to be ok but she is still angry and resenting me at the same time, was really sad to see, it was like she had a split personality, one second it was ok the next i could see the anger on her face. She is scared that she wont be able to feel the same about me again after everything that has happened..I told her to give it time and see what happens so she explained that she needed time apart to be able to miss me so we agreed and promised that after we had seen eachother, no contact what so ever until next friday.. eventually we made out, one thing led to another, we told eachother that we loved one another, i sent her to sleep and left. Fingers crossed for next week.
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