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Can she really miss me when we have classes together?


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Posted

OK so going to summarize the background. we broke up on a friday (i was dependent needy, etc.) she said hopefully shed find her way back to me blah blah to make break easier. come back to school monday shes texting and calling trying to hang out. I givie in like an idiot but after out class together call her and say NC. that lasts for a week of straight awkwardness sitting next to her and not even making eye contact. I come back the following monday and say hi politely and she blows up with convo and i let her lead and say as little as possible but I do make jokes that made here laugh with the intent of her seeing im still fun and not destroyed. continued casual talk on wensday and then finally I got my mind right I am where im ok without her (truly mean that) and going out with friends having fun but ideally id still like to have her. Anyways that weekend was a blast except for one little thing I found out from a friend that bumped into her at the club that she said "hes a pussy he cried when we broke up" and was making out with some dude. I percieve this as her filling the void and trying to justify her decision as she may be doubting it now?

 

SO monday rolls around( yesterday) and i dont give her the usual Hi that tells her its ok to talk and she still insists on telling me about her tatto which I politely answer with 1 word answers haha. anyways the purpose of this post. Am I doing the right thing by showing her a confident ex with his life together every day in class and slowly letting her take more control of the conversations and make the pushes? or is her seeing me every monday and wensday not allowing her to truly miss me?

 

 

I do not contact her outside of class and ive deleted her from facebook ( I still believe she uses a friend to look at my page) and her friend recently liked my status which she wont even talk to me for something i needed back when i was not communicating with my ex.

 

Sorry for rambling and thank you for anyone willing to read all of that but simplified it is this. Do I move yet again away from sitting next to her to make her truly miss me or does it appear that these LC interactions are having a positive effect?

 

I just feel like I cant call her after a month to see how she is and agree to meet like the normal reconciliation since we see each other all the time anyways

Posted

IMO, the worst kind of "missing someone" is when they are right in front of you, but not yours. Do you want her back really?

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Posted
IMO, the worst kind of "missing someone" is when they are right in front of you, but not yours. Do you want her back really?

 

 

yes i really want her back. Ive learned alot about myself and things I need to improve upon and think the 2nd time would work otherwise i wouldnt try im generally good at moving on and NC comes pretty easy to me actually.ive regained my old life prerealtionship and more and are in the best shape of my life =) think im ready. but by saying what you said what are you suggesting I do?

 

because i can be physically sitting in front of her ha or next to her where she can talk but not touch or enjoy anything more than just that.

Posted

Do you usually follow your heart, mind or instincts with women? How does it usually play out for you? IF she is that special to you, decide which "emotion" you want to pull from and work from there. I tend to go with my heart when my gut tells me no, but I feel my instincts are more trustworthy than either of the others. Anyway, I suggest showing her you still find her special, but don't go any further than that until she show's you she genuinely wants you back. In other words, smile at her, rub up against her, but don't ask her out or anything until she gives you that 100% I'm open to this feeling.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Do you usually follow your heart, mind or instincts with women? How does it usually play out for you? IF she is that special to you, decide which "emotion" you want to pull from and work from there. I tend to go with my heart when my gut tells me no, but I feel my instincts are more trustworthy than either of the others. Anyway, I suggest showing her you still find her special, but don't go any further than that until she show's you she genuinely wants you back. In other words, smile at her, rub up against her, but don't ask her out or anything until she gives you that 100% I'm open to this feeling.

 

well my heart and instincts made me pull the whole be desperate talk to friends for any info i can get try to make all these crazy plans like im doing now because i figured it was better to plan. but this time ive made leaps and bounds of progress ive spoken to a friend once who was going to talk to her and i caled it off. ive not had ANY contact outside of class which is a major improvement. but wouldnt such advances ruin my chances if theyre too soon especially since her reasoning for ending things was my controlling/needy behavior in the first place? and she just lost interest? If i do this and shes not receptive wont that just restart the process?

 

idk if this is notable but its something along the lines of what youre suggesting she brought in a smoothie we used to share into class one day and to test the waters i asked for a sip and she gave it to me. how do i progress into lunch and things without being friendzoned? also along those lines ive smiled and told jokes before in class and she smiled back and laughed so maybe she is receptive to these feelings?

Edited by bdbmwer
Posted

You don't go anywhere with her until you know she is interested in more than friends, otherwise she is likely to think, oh wow, this is nice, we are buddy's now and before you know it, you're fwb's. IT sounds like she's still interested but not 100% sure yet if she wants to risk it again.

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Posted
You don't go anywhere with her until you know she is interested in more than friends, otherwise she is likely to think, oh wow, this is nice, we are buddy's now and before you know it, you're fwb's. IT sounds like she's still interested but not 100% sure yet if she wants to risk it again.

 

 

So what do i need to know shes ready i guess is what I want because she gives me all the right signals but she has an ego issue one of my close-ish friends dated her for a week like a year and a half ago(laughably short i know) but when he tried to break up with her she said "if anyone asks i broke up with you" I feel like shes too stubborn and wanting to look consistent to everyone else to ever outright contact me saying she wants us back. I feel like these hints is all ill really get. And do you think im right about her rude comment being her way of dealing with the pain or is she just moving on and putting me down?

Posted

I'm gonna be honest with you, people who play head games scare me, because they will always be trying to figure out a way to be the "Alpha" so to speak. They like being in control and leaving you always wondering. Do you really want to be with someone who enjoys being rude to you and who wants to play games, because trust me, I'm a woman and she is playing you, she knows you want her back and she's gonna make you put yourself out there, just to be hurt. JMHO

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Posted

I think youre right that she intended to play me in the beginning. but when i called NC and I am short with her and she carries all convos am i not regaining some of the power back seeing as ive given her NO reason whatsoever in class to believe i need her anymore? if anything i was scared shed think I moved on but nonetheless thanks for your info. guess your suggesting I keep it up and wait for her to make first contact?

Posted

Only if you really have the patience to continue the games. I would prefer to see you really move on, but if its that important to you, then yes, let her make the next move.

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