joanbreeze Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Hello I have recently moved for work. I am new to this city as well as this forum. I need advice, my old friends are a phone call away but I feel this may be quite trivial so.. My ex dumped me on new year's day this year. I coped by starting NC three months ago and I moved for a new job to start again. I do miss him and think of him a lot. Anyway recently he has called my number but only for one ring so only for like 2 seconds then hung up. There's never a message so iy's like he has made a mistake/ This has happened four times now. The first time was two weeks ago and the last time just now! He does this at different times of day on different days. Now I understand that this is likely to be a mistake but this is a mistake that has only been happening recently. He may have a new phone and has accidently dailed my number a few times. On the other hand, if ANYONE else did this I would just call them to see... as it's him and we do not contact each other I'm wondering if it's more than accidental... Any ideas/thoughts? PS we were together 5 and a half years. He dumped me for someone else : (
wilsonx Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Its not a mistake. People like this have a hard time just letting go. He might be feeling guilty for what he did but the thing is you have to remain NC. Remaining NC is for you to heal and lose the emotional attachment to him. Don't be his doormat because his current relationship is not working. He did not think about you when he left you for someone else
Zabs Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Welcome Joan! Er two things... er maybe three... Not a mistake. Checking your number is still active. Putting the big foot in the door of your life to ensure you don't 'forget' about him...he is still alive and existing F***king up any times that you may be 'with' someone else...because if you keep getting calls from an ex, it is likely to put an interested party off. Baggage! Possibly contemplating the f**k up that he has made or keeping options on the back burner..Can you tell a little more of your relationship? Zabs xx
Author joanbreeze Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 As I thought - I think he wants me to phone him then he'll say he didn't realise his phone had dialed my number and it will be ME breaking NC. I won't call him, I will maintain NC but it does make me feel a little better if this IS the case as three months ago just before we decided on NC I was the one who made contact last - text to say goodbye.
Author joanbreeze Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Welcome Joan! Er two things... er maybe three... Not a mistake. Checking your number is still active. Putting the big foot in the door of your life to ensure you don't 'forget' about him...he is still alive and existing F***king up any times that you may be 'with' someone else...because if you keep getting calls from an ex, it is likely to put an interested party off. Baggage! Possibly contemplating the f**k up that he has made or keeping options on the back burner..Can you tell a little more of your relationship? Zabs xx Hi Well we were together for 5 and a half years, LDR for one year then lived close by but not together for 4.5 years. We are both in our early 30s now. We started to argue about petty things and broke up once over it for 2 weeks last year (mutual). However he pleaded with me to get back together so we did and things really were good again - but then on new year's day this year we argued -both very tired and hungover and he broke up woth me saying he wanted a fresh start (new year and all that...). I later found out (as we became 'friends') that he was seeing someone one week after. ONE WEEK! So I believe he dumped me for her. He is still with her. We stopped being friends three months ago. Pretty much it - in a nutshell!!!
Zabs Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I am going through similar. ATM, I have told him I need to move on..which I do...to get well.. The thing is if you have a emotional bond with a person in terms of illness this adds another spanner to the works. I would suggest, remain NC like you have been and you will be able to ascertain his game plan..because there always is one. You will see that there is a pattern and the only way you can break it is by changing your own behaviour. That is what I am doing right now. He has pictures on FB everyday...but the thing is I am particularly perceptive and he gives himself away in each one:lmao: I am ok. Unfortunatley, this is my 'normal' but with the help of people like yourself by making myself not the subject, I am learning too. Thank you for your post! Nuff love, Zabs xx
Author joanbreeze Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 I hope things go well for you, Zabs Luckily my ex was never into Facebook as if he was I would surely be checking to see what he was up to. So I have no idea what he's doing and we have very few mutual friends who all live in my old city so we will drift apart anyway. I will def keep NC and I do feel sure that you (or your phone) can't make the same mistake four times!
Zabs Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 That's great hunny! Stay strong and committed to your decision...but be warned, your effort are going to be tested! Nuff love, Zabs xx
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