BLuvv Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I haven't been crying which is good, but just have a general down feeling. My biggest problem is I'm sitting here at work and I can focus or get anything done. And yet I have lots of stuff I need to get done, I just don't care/ don't want to do it. Still not a peep from the ex. I feel like he knows something is different, I was much angrier than I usually am in my last texts to him. Normally, even when he would upset me and I would go to confront him I would end up sort of chickening out and not really be as upfront about how hurt I was. This time I told him just how hurt and angry I was and he tried to at first flip it around on me. Telling me how everything is not about me. That stabbed me in the heart because I feel like all I ever did was try to please him, but it was never good enough. I went where he wanted to go, saw the movies he wanted to see, skipped the things he didn't enjoy/wouldn't go to, always drove to/stayed at his house, etc. I can't believe he would say that. Ugh, I feel like that initial motivation from the high of making a solid decision is wearing off and like I worried, I just don't know where to go from here or how to change. And moving on from this relationship is just a drop in the bucket, I feel like my whole life needs a change. I'm hoping my books (I ordered a bunch off Amazon abt moving on) will get here and give me some direction.
Zabs Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 That's poo! Esp when it affects the things that are your bread and butter! Take one day at a time, get done the essentials. And most importantly put some time into yourself! DO the things that you would have liked to do when you were together (I mean like the places you wanted to go or eat out) Small steps make big advances. You will then start to feel ike you are getting a bit of 'you' back instead of everything being 'us'. I always liked going out for meals. As much as I loved to stuff my face, there was never time for those things. The first thing I did (which took a lot!) was to go for a meal and a drink by myself. It was in a noodle bar. There were other singletons around but they were prepared, armed with books etc. It was one of the hardest thngs I had to do but it gave me confidence that I don't need another to be enjoy things. Nuff love Zabs xx
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