smileheart Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I have been married for 9 years now, my wife and I have dated for nearly five years prior to us getting married. I really wouldnt call it "dating" because she was in Med School during that time. And I was working full time making money and saving for "US". To fast forward here, I have had an image of married life that I am not living. We have two beautiful children, son 5 and daughter 7, and I adore them!!!!. My wife on the other is a bit different. She was brought up in a very "blan" family. She has no "fun" in her. I do not see any tenderness or that "amazing" loving action that I would expect from my wife. I have tried over the years to discuss this with her, and her reactions would be to hide from the fact and tell me to grow up that we not kids anymore. Keep in mind, I am 38 and she is 36. She has never reached out to hold my hand. She has never rolled over in bed to hold me or to kiss me or so much as to tell me good night. At the age of 30 i had my first heart attack and my second at the age of 33, and never has my wife asked me how im feeling. Instead, it was, "eat right and go to the gym" I have over the years determined that she is very "robotic" and i am the complete opposite. I dont know what to do. Divorce is viewed so harsh in my culture. I dont feel happy, i am merely going through the actions of being married, you know wake up, go to work, pay the bills, play with the kids, read with them help them with homework, but when it comes time to "US" I just dont feel it. So i suggested counciling or im leaving.... And boy she is getting a kick out of it, Freaked out that i am going to leave her, i feel she willing to do anything. She has admit that she has a personality problem... But all her actions seem so robotic. Not from the heart. Its so hard to explain in details. She doesnt have any friends besides her mother, whom I not very fond of but deal with. So i dont think she has discussed this with anyone. My family has noticed this behavior from day one but never wanted to interfere. I just dont know if this warrants divorce. I really need help in makeing the "right" decision. My biggest concern is my kids, we have no financial issues. Just dont know how much greener the otherside can or will be. Any input is appreciated.
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