Carlos S Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) Hi Loveshack When it comes to cleanliness, I'm definitely a slob. I can clean, but I'm damn lazy about it. I figure a lot of guys would be in a similar boat. Even though I'm currently happily single, I'm wondering how much messiness a girl would tolerate. Any bad experiences? If I ever moved in with her, or she with me, I'd clean up my act, but "I can't make any promises". Here is my story: Some context: Firstly, I eat what I call "man food". I do weights and eat a high protein, low fat and med carb diet with vegetables. Not that disgusting, but my meals ain't the prettiest in the world. Secondly, I hate doing the dishes. I can and do, but I consider myself a thinking man who finds himself easily bored doing chores. I usually let them pile up for a few days. (I'm also a little lazing with vacuuming). So, about a week ago, I reached the final frontier - plastic cutlery. Now, last night I was doing some reading. I wanted to finish off the chapter before making dinner, but by the time that happened, I could not be bothered. So, I went to the kitchen and ate a can of tuna chunks out of the can (with a plastic fork). There was a mini-stack of dishes in the sink, still unwashed. (By the way, eating tuna out of a can is a regular feature of my dietary habits - especially after exercising). Here's the best bit: I thought that this meal lacked vitamins. Not to worry - I went to vegetable crisper and peeled of a couple of leaves of lettuce, washed them, placed them on a plastic (oh yes) plate and shoved them down my throat. Not the best tasting dessert Oh, and finally, I thought it would be a waste to throw away that plastic plate, so I rinsed it and placed in on the dish rack. (Dishes still in the sink - the bacteria inhabiting its surface will have to die another day) Edited October 4, 2011 by Carlos S
leftfordead2 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Hi Loveshack When it comes to cleanliness, I'm definitely a slob. I can clean, but I'm damn lazy about it. I figure a lot of guys would be in a similar boat. Even though I'm currently happily single, I'm wondering how much messiness a girl would tolerate. Any bad experiences? If I ever moved in with her, or she with me, I'd clean up my act, but "I can't make any promises". Here is my story: Some context: Firstly, I eat what I call "man food". I do weights and eat a high protein, low fat and med carb diet with vegetables. Not that disgusting, but my meals ain't the prettiest in the world. Secondly, I hate doing the dishes. I can and do, but I consider myself a thinking man who finds himself easily bored doing chores. I usually let them pile up for a few days. (I'm also a little lazing with vacuuming). So, about a week ago, I reached the final frontier - plastic cutlery. Now, last night I was doing some reading. I wanted to finish off the chapter before making dinner, but by the time that happened, I could not be bothered. So, I went to the kitchen and ate a can of tuna chunks out of the can (with a plastic fork). There was a mini-stack of dishes in the sink, still unwashed. (By the way, eating tuna out of a can is a regular feature of my dietary habits - especially after exercising). Here's the best bit: I thought that this meal lacked vitamins. Not to worry - I went to vegetable crisper and peeled of a couple of leaves of lettuce, washed them, placed them on a plastic (oh yes) plate and shoved them down my throat. Not the best tasting dessert Oh, and finally, I thought it would be a waste to throw away that plastic plate, so I rinsed it and placed in on the dish rack. (Dishes still in the sink - the bacteria inhabiting its surface will have to die another day) It's the dishes left in the sink that I would mind. Do you scrape off the food bits left on the dishes when you leave them in the sink or would there be chunks stuck to the plate? The latter would pretty much freak me out if you left it there for a few days unwashed...not to mention the smell it would produce.
Els Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Ha, guilty myself. I'm generally reasonably tidy when I have a lot of time, but extremely sloppy when I don't, because I'm too caught up in my studies/work. Bf is sloppy ALL the time. Our dishes record was 1.5 weeks, I think. Boy, that was a horror to wash after. Luckily the bf agreed to do it. The coolest bit was the bookshelf in the living room that fell down 4 months ago - it remained down and the bf, for lack of surface area, put all his stuff all over the TOP of it. It was just recently put back upright again. Was pretty funny when we had friends over. I'm probably one of the few girls who doesn't mind living in a literal bachelors' pad, though, most others I know would mind. You get less negative points if you help her clean up when asked though, even if you would not of your own volition.
stillafool Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I couldn't stand it. I'm a clean freak. I'm insane about cleanliness.
Els Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Oh, I have definitely also eaten lettuce leaves the way you did, before. I also put sandwiches on kitchen towels, and eat my fried stuff from the frying pan and noodles/spaghetti from the saucepan, when I'm eating alone. :/
carhill Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Out of 52, I've lived alone for about 17 of those as an adult. While not nearly the neatnik I was as a young man, I still find it quite easy to load the dishwasher and do minor dusting and vacuuming. Generally such chores take no more than an hour or two per week. Not too difficult. The change happened while I was married. I saw my exW didn't appreciate my efforts to keep a clean house and actually became annoyed with some of them so I decided to find other things to do with my time. That continues to this day. To wit, the laundry basket of dried but unfolded laundry sits in the bedroom. That used to piss off my exW. It's a good memory
Author Carlos S Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 And where possible, baking paper replaces chopping board
carhill Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 If you only buy takeout (get the utensils and napkins) and beer, you will greatly reduce both bacterial count and cleanup. Also, the alcohol in the beer sterilizes things.
Els Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 That is a new and promising idea, I should try it. We get takeaway more often than cook though, because we're both just that lazy.
tigressA Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I also put sandwiches on kitchen towels, and eat my fried stuff from the frying pan and noodles/spaghetti from the saucepan, when I'm eating alone. :/ That is SO me! I'm the slob in the relationship. I'll drop my clothes/bag on the floor in front of the bed and let them pile up over a few days, or longer, before I put them away. I usually have to be prodded by BF to do that. Recently I've put more of an effort in and it's made things much better. We both cook almost all the time, so there are always dishes in the sink to be done...I've started doing them in the mornings before work. Secretly I'm hoping this will lead to him cooking every day, hahaha.
Els Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Rofl, Tigress The bf rarely prods me; even though the chores are my 'job', due to division of rent and such, if he really wants something done he'll do it himself. That's usually a cold day in hell though, since his clutter tolerance is even greater than mine. He'll leave half-finished noodles on the countertop for weeks given a chance.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 There are messy women out there. You can date one of them.
CarrieT Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 My last long-term BF was the worst slob I ever met; as an alcoholic, he would frequently crawl in bed with dinner and wake up sleeping with his plates and mess. When we were close to being over, I went on a family cruise with my sisters and upon my return, he was taking off for a one-month sailing trip around Panama. I returned with the flu and desperately needed to just heat up some chicken soup and brew some tea, but I couldn't even find the stove because of all the dirty pots and pans and strewn food packaging. I ended up hiring a cleaning service to JUST clean the mess he left in the kitchen and bathroom because I was so sick. It took three people almost four hours to clean my Ex's filth - it was that bad... Never, ever again.
tigressA Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Rofl, Tigress The bf rarely prods me; even though the chores are my 'job', due to division of rent and such, if he really wants something done he'll do it himself. That's usually a cold day in hell though, since his clutter tolerance is even greater than mine. He'll leave half-finished noodles on the countertop for weeks given a chance. Ahh, that stuff just pisses me off and grosses me out! I can't stand half-eaten food laying out for more than a night. Makes me feel . Thankfully neither of us are that bad.
Author Carlos S Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Just did the dishes - I believe a brief fanfare is in order But I have to say, that plastic cutlery was a great investment. I did the cost-benefit analysis beautifully
veggirl Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Yes--turn off. It indicates nothing other than laziness. I get confused when people brag and kinda seem to compete over who is messier. It's gross. Put your dishes in the dishwasher. I would NOT be impressed by a grown man eating off of plastic plates every day (a- talk about wasteful and b- the laziness). I would be worried this spread to personal hygeine etc.
LurkerXX Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 So long as you don't expect her to be your mother, finding someone with similar habits is the key. I just hid a few items of dishes that I had formerly shared with housemates at work because they were the type of things that couldn't sit in water/dirty dish bacteria soup without getting ruined. Not that I am the most tidy, but I try to have some courtesy: for example, if you have roomates, once all pots or pans are dirtied by you, time to clean at least a few. And don't hog all the space and get mad if there is some small thing of someone else's on the counter. Thinking man has nothing to do with cleanliness-I have seen the full spectrum and the extremes from very intelligent people.
Els Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Nah, personal hygiene and environmental tidiness are not related in the slightest. I bathe and brush my teeth twice a day - bf has excellent personal hygiene as well. Also, it's probably a sample bias, but the majority of the hyperintelligent people I know are messy to some degree. They just get distracted by abstract concepts that live purely in their head and neglect their surroundings, and easily tire of mundane repetitive routines.
snug.bunny Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I only ask that he pick up after himself. Things that come to mind are...no dirty shoes/clothing out in the open like in the kitchen or something, remove bodily hair trimmings from the sink, remove pubes from the toilet if they fall off by accident when using the toilet, and if you do a number 2, please use the toilet brush , oh and if possible...no toilet paste globs left in the sink please. Cleaning the house overall I prefer to do myself anyway, because if someone else cleans it, I'd end up re-cleaning everything myself anyway because I am anal like that. I like to straighten the house up daily and then do a full clean-down every week.
LurkerXX Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I think the issue is that many expect women to be cleaner and therefore be the cleaner (not not move or change anything-just clean it) and that is the issue. I do not subscribe to lack of willingness to do basic chores and self care as a sign of intelligence-but I have seen the ability to accumulate clutter happen in more abstract people-or even clean scientists to have a blind spot in one area or at busy times. But that is considerably different than some of the 'I lay claim to this area' deliberate dirtiness and expectation that others do it, because they are the man or the hot chick or the egotistic iconoclast, or whatever.
Almond_Joy Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) Oh, and finally, I thought it would be a waste to throw away that plastic plate, so I rinsed it and placed in on the dish rack. (Dishes still in the sink - the bacteria inhabiting its surface will have to die another day) Depends on a mix of the woman and/or the circumstance, I think. Some women are messy too, so they wouldn't mind. But I think when it comes to hosting guests and/or starting a family, even the messiest woman amps up her cleanliness quotient. Also co-sign with Elswyth. Some people are really exacting with personal hygeine but their external habitat's a mess. I'd prefer that to the opposite :-$ Edited October 4, 2011 by Almond_Joy
Els Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I think the issue is that many expect women to be cleaner and therefore be the cleaner (not not move or change anything-just clean it) and that is the issue. I do not subscribe to lack of willingness to do basic chores and self care as a sign of intelligence-but I have seen the ability to accumulate clutter happen in more abstract people-or even clean scientists to have a blind spot in one area or at busy times. But that is considerably different than some of the 'I lay claim to this area' deliberate dirtiness and expectation that others do it, because they are the man or the hot chick or the egotistic iconoclast, or whatever. I agree completely. Expecting someone to pick up after oneself is completely different from just being a slob. If you don't want to clean your own mess, don't expect others to do it.
OliveOyl Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 My BF is messier than me, both clutter-wise and cleaning-wise. I know if we lived together I'd do more of the cleaning, just because I have a lower tolerance for mess (I'm not fastidious but I lean much more toward the "Felix" continuum). I have no idea whether it would be an issue or not. I think if I understood going in that our standards are different and realize up front, he might not significantly change, it could work out. (Athough he has cleaned up his house quite a bit to make it presentable for me, which I really do appreciate.)
FitChick Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Divide up chores. If one person doesn't mind vacuuming and the other hates it, that's an easy fix. If you both don't like doing the dishes, buy paper plates or buy a dishwasher. If nobody likes housework, have a cleaner come in once a week. Small price to pay for peace.
wheream_i Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Of course, it has to be the guys that are slobs, right? Male here and very much a clean freak. Almost to the point of compulsive about it. I won't tolerate a slob and I never have. You're a big girl, pick your wet towel up off the floor. Fold and put away your laundry. Clean the bathroom counter. I would never expect someone to pick up my socks up from the walkway. I will never do that for someone else either.
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