Ayla Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 How often do you contact or see good friends of the opposite sex? Would you see a friend of the opposite sex less often, if you knew they were interested in you and you didn't want to give them the wrong idea? Alternatively, would you contact/see them more often if you were interested in them?
oaks Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 How often do you contact or see good friends of the opposite sex? At least twice a month. Sometimes twice a week. Would you see a friend of the opposite sex less often, if you knew they were interested in you and you didn't want to give them the wrong idea? Well, I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea, but seeing her less often might not be the only way to deal with that. I might be able to talk to her, or it might be enough to only meet in public places with groups of friends. Alternatively, would you contact/see them more often if you were interested in them? Maybe. Not sure. Is this the same person as above where I know she's interested? Or some other friend where I'm interested but I have no idea if she is?
Author Ayla Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 So would you consider seeing each other 4-5 times a week and with no contact at all for maybe 1 or 2 days a week-a lot? Oaks-It could be either: 1. You are interested and know she is interested 2. You are interested but don't know if she is
counterman Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 As often as I would see my good friends of the same sex, at least once a week but sometimes when I'm really busy it's like once or twice a month... If I know she's interested in me, I would probably see her less but wouldn't intentionally avoid her. That would be hurtful and if we're really good friends, we should be able to deal with the situation that I might not be interested in her that way when she's interested in me. I agree with oaks, I would probably hang out with her with other friends around, not alone though. I wouldn't know what to do if I were interested in a friend that way, has never happened.
oaks Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 So would you consider seeing each other 4-5 times a week and with no contact at all for maybe 1 or 2 days a week-a lot? That sounds like a lot. I don't think I see anyone that often unless I work with them or live with them. Oaks-It could be either: 1. You are interested and know she is interested 2. You are interested but don't know if she is In the first case then if I was single I would find out if she's single and if she was then I would ask her out on a date. In the second case, if I'm getting no signs or clues from her that she's interested in being anything more than friends then I'll probably assume that she doesn't want anything more (because, in my experience, people who are interested make it clear that they are). I might still want to spend more time with her, though.
Author Ayla Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 That sounds like a lot. I don't think I see anyone that often unless I work with them or live with them. yeah-that's what I think too....obviously I'm talking about me and a friend (who also is a guy that I dated earlier on in the year-but I ended it because he wasn't ready for a relationship. We then didn't speak for 3 months. Then when I moved closer...we have gotten closer.) In the second case, if I'm getting no signs or clues from her that she's interested in being anything more than friends then I'll probably assume that she doesn't want anything more (because, in my experience, people who are interested make it clear that they are). I might still want to spend more time with her, though. I'm pretty sure he knows I like him...I agree that it is generally clear when a person like someone. We have been intimate a once or twice a month and a half ago. Most weeks we see each other 4-5 times, initiated by both of us, and contact as well is initiated by both. When we spend time together it is in public and at one of our homes...with other people or just the two of us. More often than not, it is just the two of us.
In A Rut Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I don't do friendships with the opposite sex. I get on with lots of women, have hung out with women in the past, but never really saw them as friends.
oldguy Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I have been close friends with a girl since we where in primary school, we dated on & off in HS & college & have remained friends our whole lives. In fact my kids & her kids use to play together when they where young. Now we email at least a couple times a week if we don't see each other. Her & my wife have become good friends & one of us usually talks to her several times a week. In fact most of our emails or conversations end with a casual; "love ya". As I'm writing this it may sound a little unusual I guess We've just been friends most of our lives & through so much together.
Pierre Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 How often do you contact or see good friends of the opposite sex? If there is sexual attraction often. If there is no sexual attraction only as needed..
Author Ayla Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 Ok-so I guess the general consensus (except for oldguy) is that seeing a friend of the opposite sex 4-5 times a week, is hinting towards more than friendship (feelings wise) by both parties? I was thinking, other than people I work with or live with-I don't see or speak with my friends that often...even my best friends! So far for me this week as an example-I have seen him last Sun, tues, Wed, thurs, fri, sun, Mon and 3 times today. With texting only yesterday. With plans initiated by both of us, in public and private and a mixture of by ourselves and with others. Yet we have not been intimate in a month and a half! There is sexual tension and there is flirting. Does this make sense to anyone?
Titania22 Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Possibly not relevant. But all my male friends are online friends. So I don't see them in real life. But I do spend hours online with them every day. We have lots of fun. But it's all innocent. I don't even know what they look like. But we skype chat the whole time. I think online it's easier to be friends with the opposite sex, because it just avoids all the physical stuff. Even if I really really like a guy online, part of me knows that there is every chance I wouldn't be sexually attracted to them IRL, or them to me. And because of the large age differences, that is even more likely. As for real life, I did have an awesome male friend a few years ago, and although I wasn't attracted to him, I know that over time he started to love me. I think that that is a very real possibility if you are spending lots of time with someone. I know that the more I like someone, the more physically attractive they become to me.
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